Growing Pains

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff

Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church:  w h e r e   a r e   t h e   b o n e s

Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Me, a janitor, sweeping up the vampires ashes: where the fUCk did all this dirt come from

not a morning person not a night owl but a secret third thing

After careful consideration and going over multiple options I think the best choice is stay warm and cozy in bed forever.

hey girl wanna come back to my place and chew on the ethernet cable

you have to call someone now

That “oh” at the end is the funniest thing I have ever seen. There is no other diplomatic way to respond.

watching twitter implode in realtime is definitely funny but also anyone else utterly disgusted at the fact that one billionaires temper tantrum cost thousands of people their jobs, countless more across its userbase and is destroying what is one of the biggest websites on the internet? one guy. literally one single fucking guy who couldn't just admit to a fuck up and is taking the whole thing down with him because of his big mouth. its one guy and he has enough money to just tear down the website. one guy.

God, I wish my body would occasionally scrimmage

obsessed with this response