A male colleague was making fun of the #metoo movement a few days ago, and many more (Iâm one of 5 women in a department of 200 men) joined in. So I raised my voice and said I was glad women were speaking up about sexual harassment and assault and that I hoped that everyone who perpetuated this toxic behavior got taken down.
âYeah but itâs a trend now, lots of them are just saying it for their 15 minutes of fame.â He then continued to say that he didnât know anyone who had been harassed or any man who had done it.
I asked him if he had a daughter. He did. I asked him how old she was. She was was 17. I told him Iâd bet my rent money that his daughter had experienced sexual harassment.Â
âThatâs impossible.âÂ
The next day, he came in the office with five bouquets of flowers for all the women in our department, including me. He publicly apologized for making fun of sexual harassment and for making our lives harder by doing so. He said that he simply hadnât known how widespread it was. Apparently, his daughter deals with it very regularly. She hadnât told him because of the way he spoke about assault cases that were on the news. She thought heâd think less of her if sheâd mention it. It was her idea that he should make a public announcement. He said he felt like a bad father.Â
I said:Â âYou were. Same goes for everyone who laughed with you. Be better, now you know better. And educate other men that still think the same way you did yesterday. And next time someone tells you about an experience they have, donât automatically assume that because you havenât seen it, itâs not true. That kind of willful ignorance is why we still deal with this shit.â
He also offered to pay my rent as that was part of the bet, but I told him Iâd rather have him put effort in being a person his daughter and wife could be proud of.Â
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