Yo

Funniest thing I have seen in 2020

Ok but legit the funniest part of this is that the cat just knows what he’s about to do before his tongue is even out. He’s done this more than once. A lot more.

When cats put their whole body into making a sound. Only to be squeak.

potion that turns the user into Saber for 5 hours

[forces you to drink it]

Are you talking about like a sword. Like the things that they used in the 19th century?

look up "Saber" in google images

Ok. So potion that turns into generic looking anime woman. She looks like a minor character in BlazBlue.

how the fuck do you know what BlazBlue is but you've never seen Saber before

another underappreciated tumblr feature that you dont get on other sites is the queue. i love it when something i thought was funny six months ago and then forgot about a week later crawlts its way out of the processing vortex and i get to see it all over again.

you should queue this post it would be funny and grant me immortality

you motherfuckers put me in the processing vortex

the thing about being bullied for being weird as a kid is that even if you've always embraced being weird your brain is still always looking for the line where it's too much. you can be as proudly and intentionally weird as you want and you can love being weird but your mind is still convinced there's a point where you get too weird and people start treating you like a weird looking bug again. also it feels like you reach that point 500 times a day even if everyone you've spoken to today found you pleasant and likable and even if you're completely alone in your house with nobody looking at you at all.

Here’s a new paper on tool use in cattle! It really doesn’t surprise me. I wonder if people who raise animals ever look at studies about them and say, “That’s a new discovery? Bessie does that all the time.”

i really genuinely wish I could hit chatgpt with my bare fists and hear its pityful electronic voice fade into glitched robotic gibberish and choking beeps as I hit it before I smash it for good and it shuts the fuck up forever

why are so many people wondering if I'm horny for chatgpt. it's like the most unfuckable robot ever created heeell NO

Ah, but that’s just the backstory that notorious communist Charles Dickens wanted us to know! This bold reimagining will feature a hot young Ebenezer “Eb” Scrooge (played by Johnny Depp, who is definitely not in his sixties), and focus on his origins as a feisty and witty capitalist wunderkind. Cheer on our brave underdog as he gets addicted to multiple hard substances, physically and emotionally abuses his fiancé Belle, and then permanently destroys her career and reputation by playing the victim in a public farce of a court trial! The brilliant minds at Paramount have done it again, folks: pure box office gold, spun out of only the finest of horseshits!

Item: thousand-year-old drinking game