This meme has been on my mind
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@imabadnoodle
This meme has been on my mind

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best gif of the year award goes to horse plinko. everybody give it up for horse plinko
I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell
I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you.
So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.”
So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened.
So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.
Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.
Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?”
I suspect they were trying to keep me busy and distracted while they cleaned up the corpse in the living room?!?
oh, fair enough
A problem w being on tumblr is I'm completely desensitised to the urls you get on here. I'll send someone a link to a completely innocuous post I think they'll like & not until they're like 'what the fuck is this' do I notice that I've linked them to shreksbiggreencockandballs dot Tumblr dot com or smth. :/
what's wrong with that tho
fish know about Africa

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The thing about girls is they’ll be in a relationship with the most random man. They will find people you didn’t even know god could make
Holding her like a talisman
man ive been watching videos of sheep getting shorn all night. makes me wanna be a sheep, getting man handled by a farmer who loves me, emerging from my cocoon of wool a totally new being. prancing around the barnyard so free, no longer weighed down by winter. i have clinical depression
it’s posta like these that so encapsulate the spirit of tumblr while making it impossible to explain tumblr to my mom
found a subreddit where people share their tiny fruits
Where’s the link OP I would like to contribute
gonna post a selfie?
you just killed a man in broad daylight

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JDHSKXHSK I’M LOSING IT OVER THIS
Upside down kitty
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overstimulation/sensory overload really is like sorry I can’t hear you over the sound of my shirt tag being itchy and these two strands of hair touching my face and the tv and one of my shoelaces being undone and air touching me and the plane flying overhead and my own thoughts about remembering to buy hummus
i can’t talk i have socks on

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I’m crying like a baby
Obsessed
Never loved a human being more.
"Oh No I look incredible" 😂