໒꒱

#myilya is going to be soooooo disgusted and disturbed when he learns that shane and hayden are funny and have inside jokes too. he won't be able to handle it. they'll start doing that transatlantic accent bit and he'll just explode from shock and jealousy.

"I promise to work very hard for you" cries and cries and cries and cries. my boy

"Boston is nice too?" CRIES AND CRIES AND CRIES AND CRIES. MY BOYYYY

ilya mic’d up talking with his teammates about recipes he’s been trying recently and tricks he’s been trying to teach anya. and shane mic’d up barely having something that producers can actually use because of the amount of swears

Post TLG, Shane has a rare completely off night. He was awful and he knows it. When they get back to the locker room after the loss, Shane goes to apologize to the team. Before he can start, the team just pushes him out of the way and surrounds Ilya. They’re like “Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? What’s your problem?” and Ilya is so confused as to why they’re upset with him because he played well despite losing. Someone is like “Cap, it’s your job to put out and you clearly haven’t been and that’s why Shane is playing like shit, so why are you not giving it up?”. Someone else explains that they figured out a while ago that Shane plays like a God when he’s getting laid regularly, and goes back to being a normal human when not, so they need to know why Ilya isn’t bending over and giving it up. They start assuming that something is medically wrong and Bood is like “Well if Ilya can’t take it then someone on the team has to step up” and Luca is immediately like “I’ll let Shane fuck me…I mean for the sake of team and everything…if I must…I’m not actually eager or anything…like I haven’t thought about this at all…ever!” Ilya starts yelling at the team, telling them that everything is fine, but they yell back and now everyone is arguing. Meanwhile, Shane is very amused by the fact that the team thinks he’s the top.

You can really see Reid’s sense of humor in the Pike children play-wedding scene with the 15 seconds of the Moana song. Like that is pure cheek and whimsy lol. Jacob start balancing the music budget.

Something something— some of their friction in the beginning comes from Ilya being uncomfortable with how much heart Shane wears on his sleeve, despite feeling charmed by Shane’s sincerity and earnest qualities and wanting that openness for himself, versus Shane being uncomfortable with how much Ilya makes him reveal parts about himself he’d always wanted to keep secret, keep buried, despite craving the freedom and agency being with Ilya brings out in him

Scary Shane Hollander in between shifts on the Centaurs bench just staring into space thumping thumping thumping his stick on the ground to the beat of whatever industrial EDM track is going in his head because the team isn't playing well they aren't doing their job thump thump thump he can't be on every fucking shift he can't do it all for them thump thump thump "shane open your mouth and drink some fucking water" open mouth Ilya squirts water in swallow thump thump thump Haas misses another pass because Dillon ain't getting any better and should be sent down to Belleville to cook and pull up their winger who's showing some promise thump thump thump hockey is a team sport they gotta lock in they gotta put pucks in nets thump thump thump Shane has three cups and he wants four they need four the most important thing is getting another cup but at this rate they won't even make playoffs thump thump thump why is the centaur mascot a beaver thump thump thump

if shane ever saw the hashtag #myilya he'd be in the replies instantly with some bullshit like "You don't know him, so he isn't 'your Ilya.' Look into getting a hobby." and then yuna calls to yell at him for being mean to fans