I don't think it's that that men were wrong, I think there two complementary impulses conflicting in the Hall of the Servants. The women were paralyzed in their desire for the safest possible path, which the rest of the series points out is a problem in itself, from Rand's realization in Far Madding that he is going to have to move on, rather than wait around trying to eliminate the renegades, because the world won't wait for things to be just right for him, to Pedron Niall's last rule of information, Never wait to know everything. The men were pushing to solve the problem while the women were resisting out of fear of making it worse. There was no cooperation to be had, because their goals were incompatible. (Some of )The men finally acted after the plan proposed by Latra Posae became unworkable, because they could not longer use the Choedan Kal. Jordan also stated in an interview or to a fan question, that had women been involved in LTT's weaving of the Seals, both halves of the Power would have been tainted.
The fact is, there was no easy solution. Humanity opened the Bore, and there was no getting out of it without humanity paying a price. And the fact was, it was a win, plain and simple. The Breaking and the madness that lingered were a cheap price to pay for deliverance from the Dark One. The world that exists is objectively and definitively better than one where the Dark One conquered.
As for the other issues, I don't think the Dark One is really out to destroy everything, so much as remake the world in his own image. He's the ultimate embodiment of evil, which isn't destruction, it's selfishness and self-gratification to a self-destructive extreme. If he just wants the world to not exist, the sort of games he plays with the Forsaken don't make sense. He has the actual power to destroy the world by everything we can see and if that was his goal, things like belief and order giving strength to the forces restraining him would not make sense. I think it's more that he empowers and feeds on selfishness and other negative mindsets and emotions. The more people act in an evil fashion, the "darker" the Pattern gets and the more power he has over it, and thus has greater ability to influence them toward darkness and evil. And that's why, when human society starts to fail, and the Dark One gets enough of a toe-hold in the world to start that self-reinforcing vicious cycle, the Pattern produces ta'veren to break it up and set things right.
My own theory about the Pattern is that it does not take away free will, but is rather the product of all aggregate free choices. It does not compel, much less Compel you into anything, and neither do ta'veren. The example I like to use is Rand's from his discussion with Loial about how the Pattern works, and how small changes as a result of a choice are worked into the Pattern, but you can't force big ones. Rand's example was that he could decide to live wherever he wanted, but he could not simply choose to be a king. But this is not because the Pattern mandates that he be a commoner, it's because a king only is a king, because thousands, if not millions, of people recognize him as king. Rand can say he is a king, and act like one until the cows come home, but he cannot force others to accept him as such.
That is the limitation the Pattern places on free will and choices - none, but everyone's choices matter, not just yours. It's a small world and everyone has to live in it together. Rand cannot be a king, because other people have the freedom to refuse to accept him. It's also pretty clear if you pay attention to what is really happening, that the ta'veren are neither forced along a path nor force others or cause others to be forced by their existence or choices. Ta'veren exist to make choices possible, to free the world from the shackles imposed by bad choices or good choices whose benefits have expired. e.g. National identities were useful to build a sense of community and loyalty to each other, and create safe and secure civilizations that allowed people better lives and more choices, but the world has clearly reached a point where those concepts no longer move people enough to resist the breakdown of order that is inspired by & enhances the influence of the Dark One, and nations are now differences that separate people when they need to be coming together. And we see that Rand, Mat & Perrin all inspire people to come together in spite of national or cultural differences. That's why all of them lead coalitions of people from many different lands. They are not forcing them to unite, they provide a motivation and a way to unite for those who are so inclined, but are hindered by the baggage of their own loyalties and suspicions of others.
This is also the difference between the ta'veren and their female counterpart protagonists, who work within the system to preserve and make use of the good still left. In book 1, Agelmar states that the monarch of Malkier is the oldest ruling title in the known world, with only the Queen of Andor coming close. And of course, the Amyrlin Seat predates them both by a couple millennia. And by the end of the series, Nynaeve is Queen of Malkier, Elayne is Queen of Andor and Egwene is Amyrlin Seat. They are the peak of the established system, while the boys primarily rely on positions of authority that more or less are invented for them. Dragon Reborn, overlord of Tear, Car'a'carn, Coramoor, founder of the Black Tower, sworn liege of Aes Sedai, conqueror of Cairhien and Caemlyn, Lord of the Two Rivers, liege lord of Ghealdn, Captain-General and founder of the Band of the Red Hand ... we didn't have any people doing these things when the black rider first appeared in Emond's Field. The girls use their powers and administer their offices in a fashion every bit as radical as the institutions the boys create, but they are not ta'veren because they are using & strengthening the walls that humanity erected in the past, while boys knock out new doors in those same walls. Neither wall nor door is inherently good or bad, it depends on the circumstances, but as it is, the walls are poorly defended against humanity's Enemy, and also obstructive to the purpose of taking the fight to the Shadow. Our heroes & heroines utilize both in a complementary fashion to make the fight possible.
So in regard to the point about the Creator being evil in his neglect, that's a misreading of whatever is going on. Depending on which cosmic view is the reality, it can only be the Creator's power and rules that prevent the Dark One from going all out, that makes the choices people make for unity and order matter against him, that constrain him to work through intermediaries like the Forsaken, or else the Creator does not stick his oar in, because to do so would negate the free will of a considerable portion of humanity.
For good or for ill, human choices, freely made with free will, have put the world in its current state, and for the Creator to alter that state is to undo their choices, and to effectively render those choices pointless. If God is going to catch you every time you jump off a cliff, then the choice to jump does not represent free will, because the outcome is the same whether you jump or don't. Rand, Mat & Perrin function as a kind of guiding light shining on the path humanity can take to extricate themselves from their current situation, allowing humanity to be saved, without removing their freedom.
All of this, of course, explains why compulsion is so evil and held as such in the text.
I think that Sanderson botched the ending, and that the peace and unity that is intended to follow Tarmon Gaidon is not going to be from a formal treaty, upheld at the points of Aiel spears, but as an outgrowth of the unity that enabled humanity to win Tarmon Gaidon. They are going to avoid conflict, and cooperate, to find mutually agreeable solutions, because humanity has collectively looked into the face of the end state of disunity and division and have learned a lesson, and also, individuals and groups, having fought the Shadow themselves, will retain a degree of respect for those who fought beside them, without whose help they would not have survived on won. The different peoples might not like each other, but they saw each other stand against the Dark One, and having done it themselves, understand the value and importance of that. Does it really matter all the ways the Illianers or Domani or Aiel savages are scum and treacherous assholes, when they were there, standing their ground on the Day that Dawned Twice, defying the Father of Lies? That fact is good enough to find a way to live with them, because it's so much more important than all their faults and flaws.
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