may we live forever

Cut up a tree that fell over (I asked him to cut it down a year ago)

Found a plumber (After wasting a whole day trying to fix a broken water main himself)

Paid half of the plumber bill (You noticed that I said half, right?)

Bought school supplies for the boy (From links to the supplies that I sent him)

He didn’t add anything to my load. (Well, not very much, anyway. Like, I got to be support staff instead of running the entire operation.) Which was nice and definitely not how he usually behaves.

But he still isn’t taking anything off of my load. I’ve been carrying more than my share the entire time. I could use a break, you know?

It would be nice to feel like we’re in this together, pulling towards something better. But he’s never been able to do that, especially with me.

Early in our relationship, we were doing some household repairs for my mom. Painting her deck, I think. And this man was impatient and rude and refused to take instruction. I brushed it off as not a big deal at the time, but in retrospect that was a preview of exactly how he would behave any time I tried to do something important with him.

We had similar issues when we did dancing lessons. He was shoving me around off beat and then fussing that I wasn’t following the steps. Leading isn’t about shoving your partner around. It’s a soft touch and a flowing together. It’s accepting what your partner does and continuing anyway. He has never understood that.

It’s four books but one novel. It’s a unique format. I don’t think I’ve encountered anything like it before. Or even heard rumor of such a thing.

(It’s a unique work in some other ways, too, but we can discuss those after you’ve read it.)

It’s four books but one novel. It’s a unique format. I don’t think I’ve encountered anything like it before. Or even heard rumor of such a thing.

(It’s a unique work in some other ways, too, but we can discuss those after you’ve read it.)

I checked on libby for the audiobook, and it's treated as 4 separate items, not one altogether. I'm kinda sad they're not altogether as a part of the same audiobook, but I am really happy they were all available!

It’s four books but one novel. It’s a unique format. I don’t think I’ve encountered anything like it before. Or even heard rumor of such a thing.

(It’s a unique work in some other ways, too, but we can discuss those after you’ve read it.)

“Hey, the water is leaking at the meter and I need you to contact the plumber who fixed our stuff last time.” (Doesn’t call a plumber.) (Has some random friend come over.) (Spends over an hour assessing the problem.) (Determines that we need a plumber.) {I am now seeing red. Did this man really think I don’t know what work requires a plumber and what work we can do ourselves? IT’S LIKE HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM. We’ve been married nearly 20 years, for the record, and I’ve been doing most of the household repairs this entire time. How? How does he not believe my assessment of the situation?}

(Enter the Friend)

“What if the meter is the part that’s leaking?” “The city already came and said it’s on my side.” “But what if the meter is the part that’s leaking?” SO. MANY. TIMES. IN. A. ROW.

“Do you have a home warranty?” “No, I don’t waste my money on stupid insurances thanks.” “But most people get some kind of guarantee for the first year they own their home.” “That wouldn’t make any difference because we’re in our third year, and also I never had anything like that.” WE. REPEATED. THIS. ENTIRE. EXCHANGE. TEN. FUCKING. TIMES.

(Exit the Friend)

*He* was delightful. It’s so easy to not treat a woman like she has no knowledge or skill. Like. Gah.

Anyways, he said they’ll start digging 8 am tomorrow and be done by 1 pm and the price is not exorbitant.

The problem is that Mat would have opened the letter within two days, tops.

OH. I KNOW. She would have made it unopenable until the correct time. “Here, Mat. I wrote you a letter. You won’t be able to read it for a week. Well, I’m off. Have a nice life!” Very nonchalant, as she always is. Not negotiating weird timelines with Mat. Telling him what he can’t do, so the moment he can, he does.

So what the solution she ended up with is a weird one, where it's something that, in her gut, she knows will fail. But is the type of legalistic and manipulative thing that at the top Verin has convinced herself might just work. She chose the highest-variance agent she could find (basically anybody else would either read the letter or not read the letter, upon instructions), and set it up in a high-variance way, with enough stuff to trip Mat's curiosity. But then had to add enough chaff to make it less likely he'd open it.

What it reminds me of, in some ways, is the scene from Guards! Guards! where Fred, Nobby, and Carrot are trying to bring the odds of shooting the dragon in its "voonerable" spot to exactly "a million-to-one" (which is the probability at which completely impossible events happen nine-times-out-of-ten).

In other words, I don't read Verin as "fumbling" the encounter, so much as "constructing an encounter such that P('Mat doesn't open the letter') is only barely higher than P('Mat opens the letter')" according to the Oath Rod Cop In Verin's Brain. I don't think this is one she could have "rules lawyered" since she was also judge in that.

That said, now I desperately want to see, as a fanfic, the brainstorming scene with Verin and Tomas as they figure out what strategy to pursue.

The problem is that Mat would have opened the letter within two days, tops.

OH. I KNOW. She would have made it unopenable until the correct time. “Here, Mat. I wrote you a letter. You won’t be able to read it for a week. Well, I’m off. Have a nice life!” Very nonchalant, as she always is. Not negotiating weird timelines with Mat. Telling him what he can’t do, so the moment he can, he does.

Makes it really believable that he didn't 'get' Mat. He just wrote Mat like that, rather than anything like the character really was.

Back to the original question: Verin making the letter seem like an obligation is absolutely out of character. That's not how Verin rolls, at all. She plays things off like she really does not care, that she is just curious and a spectator, she has no agenda for you and no plan, and Rand & Perrin, even when they are really skeptical of her posture, still can never quite catch her out on it. They doubt her, because she is Aes Sedai, and because she sometimes seems to know way too much, but even when they think she is manipulating them, they have no clue what it is or why, the stakes always seem so small. Which is probably why she manipulates Rand so easily in Fal Dara, because Verin is never aiming at political goals or big metaphysical stuff, Rand probably does not even register her as a threat - how could her curiosity hurt The Dragon Reborn?

Verin would never bargain with Mat to pin him down, she'd use reverse psychology, and would clearly not even be thinking of Mat as someone who needs her information. After all, he's so busy, and as she recalls, he didn't want anything to do with this Aes Sedai nonsense, she'd find someone else to pass along her message about the threat to Caemlyn. I mean, it's not like Mat has any allegiance to the Lion Throne, she spent time in the Two Rivers, she understands how they are. Besides, after that business at Barthanes' manor, Rand probably knows to secure all the Waygates, of course.

Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Mat would know that his sense of duty and protective inclinations are a far better goad than any authority or contract.

Mat would tell himself a million times that he was never going to open the letter, that he did not want to know what was in it, that it was none of his affair, and that it was stupid to get involved in Aes Sedai stuff. And then he'd open it. We see how he responds to a source of preternatural knowledge. He'd react to the letter the way he did the news of the Aelfinn gateway in Tear and the sight of the Eelfin gateway in Rhuidean.

Mat ignoring the letter is about as likely as riding on and assuming that Melanril has everything in hand, or that a single swordsman, even sent by the Queen's advisor, has no chance of actually harming three Accepted, even if he can find them in Tear. Or that Shadar Logoth has been there two thousand years, no need to explore it, tonight. Or, no, Elayne really did just hear a mouse upstairs, watching Nynaeve fight the Black Ajah is much more interesting. That note in his pocket? Who cares why a Red sister wrote it. Burn me, but a Red would do just as bad to Rand, she probably deserves to be on a leash. No need to go to the kennels to ask her anything. It was probably Adeleas who slipped him the note, since she was grabbling him as much as Teslyn.