You didn't "love Claudia's character", you loved the sanitized and infantilized version of her that Louis sold to you, hook line and sucker.
I, however, love the REAL Claudia. The girl who joyfully killed with Lestat at Lovers Lane. The serial killer who kept her victims body parts and threw them in the river. The girl who wasn't afraid to call Lestat "Massa" or to call herself and Louis his slaves to get her point across. The girl who gasped in awe and clapped "bravo!" after watching a poor defenseless woman get killed on stage to an unknowing audience, the grown woman trapped in a little girl's body who joyfully murdered an entire mansion of people with the theatre des vampires. Claudia, who is manipulative, driven, cunning, vicious, monstrous, and will say and do whatever she needs to get what she wants. The Claudia who fell in love with a woman who sympathized with monsters just like her and was prepared to leave Louis the second she found someone worthy of her. (In fact, if Madeline hadn't insisted that they visit Louis, they would probably still be alive or at the very least lived a bit longer)
I love Claudia for who she actually is, not the version that Louis the capitalist vampire tried to sell us.
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things in phm that really tickled me as a marine biologist:
the concept of star-eating microbes causing a crisis and the solution being the introduction of space wolves to space yellowstone to control the space elk population. i love a good trophic cascade
dr ryland grace immediately pitching "turn the spaceship into a giant centrifuge to generate gravity" and then not balancing his actual centrifuge later on
the entire "life is reason" scene really
grace forgetting to open the mystery alien container in a fume hood AND immediately sticking his nose in it. if we did this in chemistry lab we were executed on the spot
academia drama being one of the cornerstones of grace's character
grace switching through every spectrum setting on the microscope to try to see into the astrophages and not being able to (relatable)
also: the astrophage dying and grace going "ohhh it died..." (very relatable)
grace having his not-scientist buddy Carl to give him frank solutions when he's overthinking. yes, often the solution is just to put the box in another box
copious duct tape usage
just sticking a filter into the path of the petrova line to collect astrophage goop
eva going "so it's alive" when grace tells them the astrophage are moving, and him being like "WELL ok that could be for a lot of reasons" in the tone of someone who doesn't even know where to start explaining why that's a hasty assumption
grace referring to the first new astrophage as his and carl's baby multiple times (HIGHLY relatable)
humanity's greatest hope being a teacher. humanity being saved by grace's ability to find novel ways to communicate well with others -- something that made him excellent as an educator, and enabled him to bond with rocky
another teacher grace moment i love is when rocky gives him the oxygen model he goes 'i dont have one of these thank you!' like that is THE most teacher response ever when a child gives them something utterly incomprehensible but made with love
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College boy Ryland gets passed around at a house party ✌️
~700 words
nsfw, alcohol/drug use (Ryland is not too intoxicated to consent), Ryland giving and receiving, bisexual Ryland Grace because I said so
Ryland bounced on Oliver’s cock on the floor of the dim living room to the dull beat of the music playing in the other room. At least he was pretty sure this was Oliver. Maybe he’d been the last guy.
“Jesus, where did you find this guy?” somebody said, awed.
“You know how freshman are, man,” Maybe-Oliver crowed, loosely holding Ryland’s hips as he languidly fucked up into him. Ryland was slightly drunk but not enough to make him sloppy; he was doing that well enough on his own. He panted and ground down, breaking the rhythm. He couldn’t help it.
Somebody grabbed his jaw and he opened automatically, tongue out, ready to receive. They shotgunned into his mouth and he coughed a bit but managed to get most of it.
“Fucking move, Charlie, it’s my turn,” a female voice demanded.
Not Oliver, then.
Ryland found himself flat on his back buried in someone new while another person held his arms over his head. He opened his eyes and forced them to focus on who was straddling him and was surprised when he recognized her. Oh. Jess. They had a class together. Her dark hair fell around her face as she rode him and Ryland never wanted her to stop.
“Dude, what's his fuckin’ name?” someone wondered.
“Who cares?”
“Don’t be a dick. I think his name’s Ryan.”
Somebody tapped his cheek. “Hey, what's your name?” they snickered, apparently finding the mystery very funny.
Ryland could only moan as Jess squeezed him with her walls.
A warm mouth closed over his nipple and sucked and Ryland whimpered, tossing his head to the side as the feeling went straight to his cock.
“Oh, he likes that,” someone said. A tongue flicked his pert nipple and whoever it was mouthed at him messily, smearing his chest with saliva.
The group in the next room was howling along to Mr. Brightside; Ryland could feel the bass through the floor.
“Jess, get off or he’s gonna come,” a guy growled.
Nonononono, Ryland thought frantically. He tried grabbing Jess’s hips but forgot someone was holding his arms. He whined piteously as he slid out of her, cock flopping wetly against his stomach and smearing slick.
“Let’s get him on the couch.”
Ryland felt himself being hauled bodily onto the couch and sat upright. He spread his legs, silently begging someone to touch him, need pounding through him like a heartbeat. He didn't have to wait long. Somebody started stroking him hard and fast and he moaned so loudly a hand clamped over his mouth. Ryland bucked his hips unhelpfully, fouling up the rhythm of the person trying to get him off.
A strong arm pushed against his abdomen to pin him in place. “What a slut,” a woman, maybe Jess, huffed. His mouth was freed so someone could kiss him and he reciprocated desperately. He was wound so tight; he could feel himself about to snap.
Then the hand on his cock disappeared and somebody laughed. Tears ran down Ryland’s face. He was so worked up that his overheated brain simply resorted to crying.
“You guys are fuckin' mean,” a female voice, definitely not Jess, snapped. She slipped her lips around Ryland and took him all the way down, her throat fluttering around him and he burst, spurting uncontrollably as she worked him expertly. Ryland’s head fell back at the intensity of it; his savior guided him to the other side and popped off when he started to squirm. She kissed his cheek and went away and Ryland languished against the cushions, breathing like he’d run a marathon.
Someone touched his shoulder. “Hey, you good, man? You done?”
Ryland crashed his lips into whoever was asking the question, pawing at them and trying to get their hands on him. They chuckled against his mouth. “Okay.”
They took him to his hands and knees on the couch and he felt a large tip start to breach him; his cock gave an interested twitch. He’d probably be hard again in a minute. The person behind him leaned over his sweaty back and whispered in his ear. “Hold on, princess.”
Tag List: @ken-dom, @avocado-writing, @pixiebuggz, @cosmicyeehaw
Picture it. Decades after the world is saved, a huge alien spacecraft touches down on earth.
Scientist, politicians, and thousands of reporters gather to witness the aliens disembark the ship. A group of boulder-like creatures, clicking and whistling to the humans around them.
One of them raises something large and metallic towards the crowd.
There's an immediate recoil of fear (is it a weapon?!) before the audience realises it's human technology. A laptop, old and beaten and looks like it was put back together by a drunk.
The alien presses a button.
"Hello Earth, this is Doctor Captain Ryland Grace. These guys are Eridians and they're here on a shopping trip. I have a list and no money, but I did save the world so that has to count for something. Number one, salt and vinegar chips. Actually anything potato. Number two, I miss apple juice. Number three,"
Given: Driver. (Because LJ is evil. I literally have watched this once and know that it's a crime. I never took note of him much. So this is a challenge. )
Fave thing about them: Somehow expressive without speech. It's just something about the language of action. Not even like facial expressions, it's all in the eyes and actions.
Least fave thing about them: HE'S HARD TO CHARACTERIZE. Also I don't like protagonists with no name, personal preference but it makes it harder for me to attach.
Fave line: "There's no good sharks?" (when him and ben are talking about the tv. its just so cute)
brOTP: Him and Oscar Isaac. Listen. I love oscar. They needed time. (his name being STANDARD tho?)
OTP: Irene. Somehow I also don't care that he stole Oscar Isaac’s wife. Take her driver.
nOTP: None that I can pinpoint.
Random HC: I’m part of the crew that is convinced he’s so quiet and nondescript because this is notttt his first outburst of violence. The way he's able to just jump into that to protect people he cares about feels like something he has done before. So yeah he's on the run or like completely not on the radar for real.
Unpopular Opinion: About the movie in general… its not my fave. I know everyone says its essential for RYGOS viewing but I remember being kind of bored. I do have a fondness for it after reading the book and looking back at it but I dont find it really rewatchable. I have the worst time with quiet protagonists. Even if its ryan it just doesnt give me enough. I loved the art of it, but I didnt latch and connect.
Song I associate: I mean we all know it. A real hero by electric youth.
Fave Picture: I love the photos of him in the market. Like he looks so concerned to be there and it makes me laugh. But this one specifically for the jaw clench.
"Why did Stratt pick a school teacher" — because my guy can frankenstein Venus out of plywood, some duct tape and a dream. "I'm not qualified" — buddy, you have scientific background and the resourcefulness of someone who is used to having zero budget. I love this specific part of the plot that is "let's take the guy who can problem-solve things with zero money and give him unlimited budget and see what happens".
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Had a dream about Simon and Grace living across from each other with windows facing each other and they both had cats. Something happened I don’t know what but Simon did this whole “my cats likes your cat. My cat is asking yours out, look at my window later” and when he looks it’s one of those “Do you like me” with the yes or no check boxes. And both of them know it’s not really about the cats but they’re too hesitant and anxious to say it out loud so Grace starts to check the yes box but he has to write his cats name underneath and his dumb ass fucking forgot the name of his cat. Just blanked out of his mind so he’s struggling to remember while stressing that he’s taking so long and making Simon wait. They both looked like your fanart btw I think they also had cat ears idk tho but have this thing
-R
Hey so i haven’t stopped thinking about this ever since i read it.
Thank you for gracing me with such a wholesome image, now i need someone to write a fanfic about this!
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giving simon wormhole-opening powers so grace can send an instant probe once they're on erid and inflict more psychic damage on the og petrova task force
js the concept of a PHM videolog that starts out with grace and rocky happily going abt their business that then jumpcuts to ryland alone at a desk covered in blood girl im dead
I know we make jokes about the proverbial asexual pervert who has written hundreds of thousands of words of smut on ao3, but also shoutout to the aces who aren’t perverts. to the aces who skip the sex scenes and wince at sex jokes and awkwardly leave the conversation when your friends start talking about sex. your boundaries aren’t childish and fuck anyone who says otherwise.
