(hour long fart noise)

I LOVE MY PLUSHIES REBLOG IF YOU LOVE YOUR PLUSHIES

Only hurt people, hurt people

More of my woke soul on @sixpenceeeblog

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it

sorry i was passionate & intense & insane. it will happen again

if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

Everyone wish me luck on my date today I’m so nervous what if they don’t like me…

“everyone is mad at me and they just won’t tell me” —> “no one has said anything about being mad at me and i haven’t done anything to warrant being mad at so if someone is silently fuming about me and not saying anything that’s their problem and actually quite weird of them and i can effortlessly move on with my life”

this took SUCH a huge deal of unlearning because, like so many of you, i came out of a home where being quietly in trouble WAS the default state, and i DID grow up not just with the assumption but borderline religious conviction that Everyone Is Mad At Me, I Am Bad, I Must Exist In A Constant State of Attempting to Pacify The Natural Rage I Inspire In Everyone. and no it actually turns out that my family are the freaks . and yours are too

i think "oh my childhood doesn't even impact me that much" & then im Afraid To Sit in The Living Room

you are not an endearingly rude and unfriendly cartoon character you need to be nice to people

if you feel queerbaited by actual real human beings have you considered that maybe you're just queerstupid and queerparasocial and need to touch some queergrass

Something I think about a lot is when dj khaled spent a day lost at sea on a jet ski literally just because he drove away and got lost and started live posting about it and as he got increasingly panicked he started making like inspirational insta stories about his opps wanting him to fail even though he was entirely responsible for the situation and just started saying shit like “they don’t want you to WIN. they don’t want you to get found when you’re lost at sea in the dark”