it's instinct to want the good things

My gods drawing is so much harder than I remember. To all the amazing artists that come across my feed daily--you deserve all of the applause, ALL OF IT.

Anyway... I saw @isthatbloodonhisshirt 's post about trying to get more Sterek artwork out there for our beloved boys and I figured trying my hand at it would be better than doom scrolling. Is it great? No. Absolutely not. But oh well, I gave it a shot.

He’s doing his uuh… best.

— a convo about my own depression spiraled into a whole thing about Stiles’ depression and how Derek takes care of him [which probably lowkey aids in Derek’s depression as well]

ok…. but now my brain is thinking about Derek helping Stiles out of his depression slump/episode .. kinda.. at least trying.. wanting to take care of Stiles. 

it probably starts with Derek walking into Stiles’ apartment. the pack hasn’t heard from him in a few days. Derek just so happens to have a copy of Stiles’ keys (courtesy of the sheriff probably). Derek opening up the blinds, letting some light in, staring down at the state of the living room where there’s just heaps of laundry that are by the washing machine but not IN the washing machine.. like some lazy trail from one room to the machine. there’s redbull and soda/beer cans all over the coffeetable, video game controllers tangled across the floor, a single dirty plate sitting beneath a blanket on the couch. 

he knows Stiles is sleeping in his room so Derek just starts cleaning. a little sad that the kitchen is worse but he wipes down and scrubs at the two rooms anyways. throws all the dirty laundry on the floor into the washing machine and starting a quick wash. 

Derek probably doesn’t wake him up until much later. knowing how much sleep is probably the best thing Stiles needs right now. but the first thing Derek asks Stiles once he’s awake is if he’s eaten anything at any point in the day. Stiles maybe says he had a single boiled egg and a glass of orange juice for breakfast and it’s taking everything in Derek to remain patient and not throttle Stiles?? but he orders two large pizzas and then does a separate order of groceries since Derek probably had to throw away a lot of spoiled takeout containers in Stiles’ fridge and his he hopes Stiles wasn’t nibbling off it 

AND and when the pizza arrives they sit in comfortable silence watching a movie that Derek maybe doesn’t care for but at least Stiles is laughing at the terrible jokes which is music to his ears anyways 

AND THEN Derek doesn’t leave until he makes sure Stiles has taken his medication and a shower and fresh pajamas from the dryer before practically tucking Stiles into bed … they’re not even dating… yet… 

S: … i could see the opposite happening too with derek with depression and stiles helping him. them just sitting with each other either way because what else can you do to help someone

lowkey Derek helping Stiles through his slump is helping him in HIS slump 

okay but also this just becoming a think after the first time like.. Derek texting Stiles on random afternoons asking him if Stiles has eaten and if he’s not satisfied with the answer, he damn near hunts Stiles down to give him a tupperware or something homemade or a takeout from somewhere with at least some kind of healthy option. he’ll come over on weekends and make sure Stiles hasn’t turned his apartment into a battlefield of trash again. he’s forcing Stiles out of the house even if it’s just a walk down the street and back but it always ends up being an hour long walk anyways. 

but it gets to a point where Stiles lies about not having eaten or gone outside just to have Derek come over. Derek would ask, “what’d you have for lunch today” and Stiles giving some shitty answer like a pack of almonds and a tall boy redbull when actually he visited his dad at work and they both had huge sandwiches with the saltiest side of fries. Derek can probably smell the fries on him but presents the food he made to Stiles anyways and sits down to make sure Stiles eats it like they’ve been doing.. 

and Stiles going “y’know, i’m starting to think this is helping you more than me..”

S: Derek also stays over a lot accidentally because they fall asleep in bed together or watching tv and end up in each others arms but it helps both of them feel safe 

like maybe some days Stiles is too tired or lazy to walk to his living room to watch tv so he’s begged Derek to just lay in bed with him and watch tv from his macbook 

S: and one day is the worst for either one of them so they just spend hours holding each other sitting on the kitchen floor and breathing together and taking comfort in each other and knowing someone is there for them through their worst times in the worst presentation of themselves

Derek already having a particularly bad day? but he still goes to check in on Stiles and finds him panicking on the kitchen floor

S: and then they move in together so Derek doesn’t have to keep going over all the time and there’s less mess to clean up and they both feel better that they’re contributing to each others space. and they still share a bed more often than not because of nightmares. and the depressive episodes happen less and less because they’re with each other constantly and depend on each other and keep each other afloat

OH Derek for sure being like “listen just move into the loft, it would make this so much easier. half your shit is already there anyways”

S: also stiles doesn’t let them actually get together because he’s like if something happens to me, if I can’t get myself out of this then I don’t want to put that on you and make you lose someone close to you again. and Derek is like no matter what you are to me losing you would kill me too

I found this awesome ship and I'm obsessed. All the fanfics i have to read and write about them!!

  – Guest Submission