Phantom of the Cheeseheads

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me

*checks urban legend notes* Victor Hugo was closer to God than any of us?

idk man I've read Les Miserables, I think it's fair to say that his empathy and compassion for the sex worker is not merely transactional. I don't think there's a contradiction there, and I don't think the prostitutes of Paris were mourning just for their best client. I think he saw worthy and valuable people everywhere, and people felt that.

also yeah dude fucked like a rat on bath salts

Uh-oh, coming down with a case of “what-if-a-bunch-of-other-people-experience-these-symptoms-as-bad-as-I-do-but-they-suck-it-up-and-work-anyway-and-I’m-just-being-a-little-bitch”-itis

when youre inadvertently 1% too nice to a straight guy you can usually pinpoint the exact moment where he decides you must be acting that way because you want to fuck down on him crazy style and it is at this point that one would be well advised to have a cyanide capsule under a false tooth or an equivalent fast acting response

Have you ever considered that Sisyphus might've just been in for the love of the game? My bus driver hits the same curb every morning

so called free thinkers when it’s 9 o’clock on a saturday

Can I have everything I want in life by tomorrow

made my book rocky plush so accurate I also get separation anxiety when I'm away from him

bruises are lingerie to the enlightened pervert