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@ignorantplebeian
SLURP SLURP SLURP

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september in victoria harbourÂ
If i ever spell something wrong I did it for comedic purposes. I know everything don't forget that
CHOCOLATE CREPES WITH PEANUT BUTTER MARSHMALLOW FILLING AND CARAMELIZED BANANAS
youtuber with a beard merch be like *silhouette of a beard*
When it shpuld be a silhouette of a cock...
Whats not clicking

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The Daily Life of a Simple Girl
Redditors design worst volume sliders possible
Some of these are genius! ( see reddit / via )
Well, this post went a bit nuts.
That last one honestly belongs in hell
ALL OF THESE HAVE ME WHEEZING AND CACKLING SO MUCH
All found in the comments but not found in master post, youâre welcome :).
My boyfriend wonât stop talking to me about whether or not I would eat PokĂŠmon steaks. We think maybe Mr. Mime steaks would have white meat and ooze a purple liquid. I feel like youâre the only one qualified to tell us more
listen the ONLY part of a mr mime thats edible are the red spots, and thats ONLY after being properly cooked - if you bite into any part of their body while its still raw youll suffer near immediate food poisoning
luckily, just like red kidney beans, the potential toxins are easily to remove provided you take the right steps
once theyve been safely removed from their inedible surroundings, the larger red spheres are ready to begin working with - its worth noting that the smaller spots on the hands and cheeks also fall into this category, but theyre almost always too small to be considered harvesting by most professionalsÂ
youll want to start by cutting away any flesh thats still directly touching the pale parts; when in doubt, a wider cut is always preferred. better safe than sorry ! one benefit of working with mr mimes is that, along with many others in their typing, their bodies are held together with physic energy and thus dont require deboning
the next part is going to require boiling in a large pressure cooker- some may find it a challenge to to find a pot big enough to host all the parts, so cooking them individually is fine. remember to follow the instructions to the letter
after theyve been removed and dried, an easy way to text if theyre safe to eat is to cut them in half and check the spongy center - a darkened purple core means theyve been boiled long enough, while any lighter, greenish tints means you probably needed a bit more time
once theyre out of the danger range, you can now safely use them in variety of dishes ! their almost mushroom-like texture means they absorb flavors well, and pictured above is one of my personal favorites
THIS guy though, you can just pop em into your mouth whole. its fine
its fine
its fine
Doofenshmirtz is trans and itâs undeniable at this point.
Baked Eggnog Custard

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Gingerbread Hot Chocolate with Mini Star Ice Cream Sandwiches
hate this site
come sit down next to me idiot
i will sit next to you at any time ms green
sit next to me right now.Â
i am, im sitting next to you right now
now listen to me young man, i am talking directly into your ear now. i need you to do me a favor. you will do this for me. i need you to go to gamestop, and i need you to ask the bastard working the counter if they have bambi on the ps2. if you come back empty handed youll be in big trouble mister. you will never see the light of day.
my worst fear is an ocean update 2 where they add whales
i'm just. swimming in the ocean and this massive fuckarse whale the size of my base domes and yeets me into oblivion
i've been thinking about this post for the past 30 minutes and only now realized it's from a minecraft blog and not just some guy who doesn't think whales exist
I found a document from 1652 thatâs just a guy talking about how women are better than men and wow heâs a little confused but he got the spirit.
Literally every man in 1652: If she breathes, she a THOT!
This one random guy: All women are queens!
This idiot who loves women a lot: you seeâŚwomen are perfectâŚyou can tell because when they fall downâŚGod made it so they usually fall on their backâŚwhich hurts less and prevents them from damaging their beautiful facesâŚwow women are so smart and beautiful
This absolute dumbass who treasures women with his whole soul: you know how sometimes womenâŚare bad? Itâs actually just proof that they are way more powerful than men and they could totally kill us if they wanted to but they donât because theyâre just that nice they literally donât need us for shit
For those wondering, the document is called âThe Glory of Womenâ OR âA Treatise declaring the excellency and preheminence of Women above Men, which is proved both by Scripture, Law, Reason, and Authority, Divine and Humane.â
Yeah. Thatâs the title.
This dude absolutely LOST IN THE SAUCE on Respect Women Juice
Absolutely devastated I missed out on the chance to peg the worldâs greatest man by 367 years
I can't believe home depot literally produced a wildly successful science fiction musical and we all just pretend it didn't happen. on one hand yes it had a boring white guy main character but like.... home depot just... Made it? And it had shit ton of box office sales? and no one even talks about this. this is like avatar (2009) all over again
OK so. After a lot of frantic googling I realized this was all a dream. home depot did not in fact produce a wildly successful science fiction musical. I was on allergy meds and took a nap and my brain simply prophesized this. slightly disappointed because I wanted to watch it.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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even when i am not posting, know that horrible sentences are raging within me
This morning at brunch the server came out and he was like "unfortunately we don't have ice right now because a server just broke a glass in it" and we were all like "no that's fine I think an element of danger at brunch is sexy and fun" and he was like no absolutely I get that but I still can't let you eat glass at my job