"Professional" Adult

just ask that person out, the worst thing they can say is an esoteric incantation that topologically inverts your body

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

so you’re telling me that “stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni” would be like saying “wrote a G on his belt and called it gucci”

that’s…a pretty good analogy actually

Seeing my notifications get flooded with this every July 4th is the only thing I respect about America

I’m also celebrating your dogs birthday

celebrating tumblr user heartseeker’s dog’s birthday on the fourth everyone

$200 no lowballs no negotiation i know what i have

I could fix it

this sucks so bad i need to [remembers suicide jokes only worsen my mental health] put on the best talent show this towns ever seen

Wait shit wrong fucking post

officical michigan post

And people will say Chicago is not a coastal city

We could have this if we weren’t a nation of cowards

obfficial michigan post

the avatar movies are crazy bc "what if colonizers literally inhabited and puppeteered the bodies of indigenous peoples in order to exploit their homeland" sounds like the premise of some sort of anticolonial horror film, like specifically the kind of thing that would be commenting on self-indigenization among white settlers, but because it's James Cameron his whole takeaway from that premise is "it would be preddy cool"

actually sorry. the takeaway is also "the white settler possessing an indigenous body would actually be extremely good, perhaps even The Best, at being indigenous, and he would become their Leader"

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

"why is the character like that" >look inside character >it's the author's subconscious attempt to love themself

this is meant positively by the way. sometimes you love the character so much you end up putting a piece of yourself in it to learn how it is to love yourself without realising and thats ok.

@official-michigan-posts

Holy Shit

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"