Howdy Folks

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

lowkey kinda hate how all the pride flags are just stripes, can we get some shapes up in here pls

don't you mean biczechxual

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

My great aunt died yesterday (rest in peace to my beautiful auntie, she was an angel on earth. Truly one of the sweetest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. A genuine Christian soul, made the best sweet tea. She had a long battle with Parkinson’s and she wasn’t there at the end, we’d known it was coming and we’d known she was suffering so her death was more of a relief than a sudden shock, though that doesn’t negate the grief.) and I got the news about an hour and a half after I took my nighttime 10 mg gummy. I called my dad because I knew he was close to her, she was his only non-hateful aunt and she loved him so much. My dad proceeded to try to get me to watch AI Star Wars slop and kept trying to bicker with me about pop culture and I kept trying to steer the direction to his grief and I think he could tell I was stoned because he kept fucking with me. At one point he told me I was not an easy child and I gently reminded him that he was arrested for underage drinking, flipped a car as a teenager and was likened to a bull in a china shop by all who knew him as a child, child me was not an angel but I was certainly less stressful than him. Anyway. Fucked up conversation. If my great aunt was alive and not sick and had witnessed that, I can imagine the silent guilt-tripping expression of disappointment she would have given him, a vital tool to all demure southern church ladies.

Little freaks

Green + yellow + orange is a highly underrated colour combo

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

Is it a glitch or a feature?

Feature

clown gets home after a long day. tired, sweaty. peels off their colorful overalls on the way to the bathroom. gets in the shower and turns the knob. burst of confetti & ribbons from the showerhead. clown sighs. dries off with a long chain of hankies

she can barely get the door open before her 4 balloon dogs are squeaking in a pile in the foyer

she turns the knob on the stove and a few soft honks are heard before the burner ignites

she tries the wrong burner and it's a joy buzzer

she finally finishes making a pie for dinner, sets herself a place, sits down at the table, says clown grace, pours a glass of wine, takes a sip, arranges her napkin, & smashes the pie into her own face

The Titanic is an exceptionally weird whalefall basically.

Coral acting like a living fossil specifically for sunken ships is the coolest thing I've ever heard

I understand that when soulslikes do the whole "the Golden Age was a self-serving lie, the Kingdom has always been as rotten as it is now" thing they mean societally, but sometimes I like to imagine they mean it, like, physically. The Guardian of the Realm has always been a nine foot tall horsedog.

What's wrong with being a nine foot tall horsedog is what I want to know. They can guard the realm as well as anyone.

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

World Heritage Post

there are apparently a lot of mushrooms that are poisonous to some people and edible for others. unlike food allergies, it’s not an allergic immune reaction, it’s mushroom poisoning but only for some people