Just An 😇 I Know

***** Longer Works - Canon-Related

Aziraphale’s Bucket List ** // E, 61k, post S2 canon-compliant A month after Aziraphale follows the Metatron into Heaven, he’s gotten himself reassigned to earth. He’s finally free to express his love…but Crowley isn’t ready. Aziraphale comes up with a Plan.

Tender Morsels // M, 61k, through-the-years canon-adjacent What if the Fall had nothing to do with Good and Evil? What if angels and demons were split for other reasons? When Aziraphale and Crowley fumble through their first drunken kiss, something changes. Can they find a path forward together when all of heaven and hell think of fraternizing as an act of treason?

The Third Prince ** // M, 44k, post S2 canon-compliant Crowley never wanted to be an angel, but to stop the Second Coming, it seems he has no choice. Neither does Aziraphale, who must Fall to save the world. Now, it’s a race against time and the Metatron to protect humanity from Heaven, Hell, and the bloody Ineffable Plan. Illustrated by @ruby-gold.

Daughter of God // E, 45k, post S2 canon-compliant Jo, daughter of God, adopts Aziraphale and Crowley as her new parents.

New Skin for an Old Wolf // T, 89k, post S2 canon-compliant A new kind of Armageddon is coming, one that will take the combined power of angels, demons, and humans to overcome – if they ever start talking.

***** Shorter Works - Canon and AU

To Catch a Ghost ** // T, 17k, human AU Paranormal Podcasters Pt 1: Trapped in a maybe-haunted house, forced to talk about their Feelings.

In Case of Fire // E, 9k, human AU A middle-of-the-night hotel fire alarm leads to a smutty strangers-to-lovers rendezvous.

Touch Me Again ** // T, 7k, canon-compliant What if the Fall wasn't what everyone believes it to be?

World Without End // T, 11k, canon-compliant(ish) Michael's meddling with the Book of Life sets off an explosion of potential alternate realities.

The New Arrangement (series) // E, post-canon smut series - Chance Encounter (1.5k): strangers, in public - The Importance of Being Lazy (666): somnophilia - Come Quietly; or Absolutely Feral (4k): role play, power dynamics

The (True) Christmas Story // G, 6k, canon-compliant What really happened the night Jesus was born? Written with @ineffablerainstorm.

Temptation // G, 4k, canon-compliant(ish) Crowley is jealous of Oscar Wilde and decides to tempt his angel.

Olaf the Schnauzer // T, 8k, human AU A Schnauzer called Olaf leads Crowley and Aziraphale to discover they're dating the same man. Cowritten with @beerok23, @thechangelingsea, and a fourth anonymous contributor.

Excerpt

“Well, that’s not ominous at all.” “Hush,” Aziraphale said, flapping his free hand at Crowley. “I’m filming.” Crowley rolled his eyes. “You’re going to put a music montage over this bit anyway,” he muttered, but shut his mouth again when he got a glare in reply. The Bentley worked its way slowly up the long drive of Beryl House. The former boarding school for girls was all red-brick and shingles with gables set at severe angles. A tall chimney rose from one side and towered over the structure. The trees that lay behind the building were storybook-perfect, and in front of the house lay a garden so manicured that it was stripped of all personality, surrounded by aggressively-trimmed topiary. It really was ominous, in a Disneyland sort of way. Crowley was inherently suspicious of any environment kept so immaculately cheerful. Of course, Aziraphale would probably find the view in front of them “charming.” Indeed, as they came to a stop and exited the Bentley, Aziraphale (no longer filming) said, “Really, Crowley. There’s nothing ominous about this place at all.” He sounded almost disappointed. Crowley grinned. “If you were hoping for bare branches encroaching on the house and an abandoned garden so wild it could come straight out of that book you like so much…” “The Secret Garden,” Aziraphale supplied automatically. “And no, I wasn’t exactly—” “It’s a summer camp, angel. A summer camp for adults.” Crowley shuddered. Forget any paranormal antics. Nothing was more harrowing than being forced to relive summer camp. “Why did we agree to this again?” Aziraphale gave him a reproachful look. “It’ll be fun, Crowley! We’re undercover!”

The Details: 6 chapters (~38k), rated T, human AU, standalone fic despite being part of a series. (Though if you wanted to see how this whole thing started, check out the first fic, To Catch a Ghost!)

Saraqael located Michael at once on their tracking device. “They’re upstairs.” “We’re all upstairs,” Sandalphon huffed. “Up-upstairs,” Saraqael said. They pointed toward the ceiling. “Metatron level.” “That’s impossible,” Uriel said. “No one is allowed up there except the Metatron. Obviously.” “Who has just been attacked,” Aziraphale cut in before the two archangels could exchange further barbs. For goodness’ sake, it was like corralling children sometimes with those two. “Perhaps Michael saw the culprits and is right now trying to keep the Metatron safe. Angels—with me!” “But we’re not authorized,” Uriel began. Aziraphale waved off her words. “I authorize this. Emergency circumstances. I will take full responsibility if I’m mistaken.” He stopped by the lift and turned to point a finger at Sandalphon. “Except for you. Stay here and find your charge. Find him, or I will have no choice but to demote you.” “But—” Sandalphon began. The ding of the lift cut him off, and Aziraphale hurried the others inside. He pressed the button to the top floor, fingers shaking. A moment later, they were on the way up, up, up. Aziraphale was braced for potential battle when the lift disgorged them. He didn’t have his sword any longer, but he would fight if need be. He was not prepared to find the room empty of anyone except Michael, shaking and moaning in a crumpled heap, one hand clutched in agony around a page from the Book of Life. Flames licked the edges of the paper, soot and smoke staining Michael’s fingers. A shiver of instinctual terror washed through Aziraphale, and he was moving before he knew what he planned to do. Something deep inside him told him that if that page burned through entirely, everything would be lost. The entirety of existence would break. Reality would be unmade.

***** The movie Clue is one of my all-time favorites. If you’re not familiar with it, it comes with three endings. There are cue cards that flip between the different endings. The first says: “That’s how it could have happened. // But how about this?”

This is literally the first thing that came to my mind when my brain unscrambled enough from watching the finale. A story can end many ways. It can end many ways without changing the substantive content of what came before. The Book of Life / butterfly effect / reality catching up “logic” of S3 gave me the perfect opportunity to write a canon-compliant alternate S3 that I preferred to what we got.

Note: this is not a full S3 fic. I’ve written numerous S3 fics in the last three years – my pinned post has links out to them – and I didn’t feel the urge to create another. I only wanted to write a bridge story, one that starts with the way the IRL S3 began and then diverges as soon as the BoL plot opens itself up to an “everything can be canon” type situation, leaving “what happens next” up to everyone’s individual imaginations.