Normal

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

[Image ID: a tumblr tag reading "problems that can be avoided if you simply treat your child as a human being with the right to make decisions on what they wear". End ID]

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

this post is getting 50k easy

There is a new vaccine going into Phase 3 trials from Valneva and Pfizer as well as a monoclonal antibody-based prophylactic treatment being researched at UMass!

"the only cure for this weird disease is the special lizard blood" is a Star Trek TOS plot that escaped into the real world

i really can’t believe society gaslit everyone into thinking that women peak at like 22 and men continue to get better with age thats hilariously psychotic

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

Well what ELSE were we supposed to do at the devil's sacrament????

y'all need to relearn the word erratic and stop using schizophrenic/bipolar/psychotic as a replacement

y'all need to relearn the word particular and stop using ocd as a replacement

People need to relearn the word "egocentric" and stop using narcissist/narc as a replacement.

People need to relearn the word "impulse" and stop using "intrusive thought" as a replacement

People need to relearn the word "lying" and stop using "gaslighting" as a replacement

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

Every glasses-related poll honestly needs to be separated into diopter ranges like wrestling weight classes bc every timeeeeee these +1.25 bitches are in the notes like "OMG why would you wear glasses in the shower!! why would you wear glasses having sex!!" because without them i am functionally blind. you may as well turn the lights off at that point bc i am feeling my way to the pussy like Velma. those are my eyes, bitch

the best fruits are hardest to open

this fucking bowling ball is gonna be delicious i know it

draw it bad and draw it weird and draw it catered only to yourself and draw it wobbly and draw it too small and draw it with the default brush and draw it without using references and draw it and leave it unfinished and draw it for the first time and draw it

Trying to escape military service like: "Poison Seller, I require your weakest poisons."

it's actually so amazing she helped save the lives of the honorable men who did not wish to fight, while killing the most vile men, that is so fucking based

genuinely people should be getting arrested for this heat. oil ceos should be getting dragged out onto the streets and kicked to death over this.