we used to turn the tv on and just watch whatever was on there

Yes, it was frequently The Simpsons.

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

getting my little goblin minions to punch and stab me in the middle of the grocery store to try and whittle me down to half health so i can assume my final boss form and reach the top shelf

You let your minions stack on each other's shoulders to reach high shelves, the next thing you know they're solving complicated logic puzzles involving the coordinated use of their idiosyncratic personal weapons and learning important lessons about teamwork under pressure, and we all know where that ends.

maidens if you are going to flee dramatically from my castle in the middle of the night once i reveal my true nature to you please leave your candelabra on the little ledge by the portcullis we are running out of them

starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost

At the checkout in Home Goods loading the belt with nothing but candelabras in all shapes & sizes while the cashier watches sympathetically and asks if it’s the maidens again

big fan of the four-year-old on this flight who yelled "THEY ARE BRINGING COMPLEMENTARY BEVERAGES" when the flight attendants came down with the drinks cart

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

"what if someone regrets transitioning" if you are 18 or over in free country usa you can walk into any tattoo parlor and ask for a tattoo that will be on your body forever and ever and ever and they will give it to you with the understanding that if you dont like the result or you regret it later that's your fucking problem and not theirs

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

i let my cat sniff dr pepper and she identified all 23 mysterious flavors with ease

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.