The AuDHD Thoughts of a Vintage Soul

Too much stuff going on in my life. AuDHD burnout. Panic attacks. Well, anyway, I tried and here it is. The next chapter.

Hey, Remus! [The Remake]

Chapter 5 (Snippet)

Remus sighed, shaking his head.

"Even if Mary did like me, it didn’t matter. She's from a different world, Sirius. She doesn't belong here. And I... Well, you know I can't have anyone.""

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Not that "I'm a werewolf" crap again. I thought you'd gotten over it by now. Come on, Moony. I'm not saying you should go profess your undying love or anything." Sirius smirked. "But maybe... enjoy some time with her. You deserve a bit of fun. Merlin knows you've earned it. I know you like her too."

Remus's expression softened, but he said nothing. Sirius stood, clapping Remus on the shoulder as he headed for the door.

"Just think about it. And, for the record, she's immune to my charm. That's how you know she's special."

When Sirius left, Remus remained there, sat, in silence, staring into his tea. His mind was spinning, but his friends’ words kept repeating themselves:

“She likes you.”

Full chapter on AO3

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He was only in a coma, having a near death experience, but woke up later. 💖

Not 38 yet but I’ve never been so called out in my life…

As probably the only person in the world whose favourite HP character is Lupin, but never liked the Marauders (and gets absolutely triggered by the fanon verson of them), I like talking to other Potterheads about their opinion on this matter.

I was talking to a friend of mine who said something like: "It surprises me is how differently I see Remus Lupin today compared with when I first read the books twenty years ago. Back then, I saw four inseparable friends whose loyalty conquered everything. Now, I see a friendship built on affection, but also on imbalance, hierarchy, blind spots, and unspoken insecurities."

She also said that the more closely she reads the canon, the less interested she becomes in "the Marauders" as a perfect friendship and the more she appreciate Remus as an individual.

Yes! That's what I've been saying all this time.

One conclusion I keep coming back to is that James seems to have treated Remus better than anyone else in the group.

I'm not a James fan! Far from that. There's very little room for debate about his arrogance and bullying. But when it comes to Remus specifically, the dynamic is noticeably different. He jokes with him, but he never humiliates him... but he does it to Peter, doesn't he? Oh, yes, most people forget that James and Sirius bully Peter.

“Did you like question ten, Moony?” asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall. “Loved it,” said Lupin briskly. “ ‘Give five signs that identify the werewolf.’ Excellent question.” “D’you think you managed to get all the signs?” said James in tones of mock concern. “Think I did,” said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. “One: He’s sitting on my chair. Two: He’s wearing my clothes. Three: His name’s Remus Lupin . . .” Wormtail was the only one who didn’t laugh. “I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail,” he said anxiously, “but I couldn’t think what else —” “How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —” “Keep your voice down,” implored Lupin.

(Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix - Chapter "Snape's Worst Memory")

When Remus quietly warns him to lower his voice after mentioning werewolves, James immediately complies.

When Sirius's reckless "prank" nearly leads Severus Snape into the Shrieking Shack, it is James who risks his own life to stop him.

Later, when they graduated and no one would give Remus a job due to his condition, James actually helped him financially.

Most tellingly, Remus spends the rest of his life speaking about James with profound gratitude. Perhaps too much gratitude.

As for Sirius, he and Remus are not on the same wavelength. Sirius is charismatic, brilliant... and incredibly impulsive, while Remus is thoughtful, cautious, introspective and deeply conflict-averse. He is impulsive only when he loses control, of a situation (which, let's face it, doesn't happen very often, does it?).

“I’m bored,” said Sirius. “Wish it was full moon.” “You might,” said Lupin darkly from behind his book. “We’ve still got Transfiguration, if you’re bored you could test me. . . . Here.” He held out his book. Sirius snorted. “I don’t need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.”

(Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix - Chapter "Snape's Worst Memory")

Sirius complains that he is bored and wishes it were a full moon. Remus replies, rather darkly, "You might." Of course. One of the members of his "brotherhood" was just wishing for his Boggart out of boredom! How insensitive is that? And when Remus offers to pass the time by revising Transfiguration together, Sirius dismisses the suggestion with a snort, because he altready knows it all. He didn't care about helpig Remus, which was actually the point. (NOTE: I know the whole HP fandom loves Sirius, but this is one of the reasons why I always felt like he only cared for two people in the world: James and himself.)

Later, when James and Sirius decide to attack Snape simply because Sirius is bored, Remus does not join in... but neither does he stop them.

Snape was on his feet again, and was stowing the O.W.L. paper in his bag. As he emerged from the shadows of the bushes and set off across the grass, Sirius and James stood up. Lupin and Wormtail remained sitting: Lupin was still staring down at his book, though his eyes were not moving and a faint frown line had appeared between his eyebrows.

He disapproves, but says nothing at that point. Years later, he admits as much himself he regrets not doing anything... But Sirius "It-Served-Snape-Right" Black says something rather interesting: he says that Remus made them feel ashamed!

“Was he playing with the Snitch?” said Lupin eagerly. “Yeah,” said Harry, watching uncomprehendingly as Sirius and Lupin beamed reminiscently. “Well . . . I thought he was a bit of an idiot.” “Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much,” he said fairly, looking at Lupin, but Lupin shook his head. “Did I ever tell you to lay off Snape?” he said. “Did I ever have the guts to tell you I thought you were out of order?” “Yeah, well,” said Sirius, “you made us feel ashamed of ourselves sometimes. . . . That was something. . . .”

(Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix, chapter "Career Advice")

That excerpt tells us almost everything we need to know about Remus.

Now, there's talk a bit about Peter Pettigrew: he was not treated as an equal. We know that Remus felt sorry for him, because he was shy and friendless, so he brought him into the "brotherhood". But would James and Peter have befriended him if it weren't for Remus?

Nothing Peter Pettigrew does later can ever be excused. Betraying Lily and James Potter is unforgivable. But acknowledging that does not require us to pretend that his friendships were perfectly healthy. Peter idolosed them, but would they actually die for him, like Sirius says in Prisoner of Azkaban?

Wormtail was the only one who didn’t laugh. “I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail,” he said anxiously, “but I couldn’t think what else —” “How thick are you, Wormtail?” said James impatiently. “You run round with a werewolf once a month —”

He started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away and seizing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Wormtail watched him in awe.

Wormtail was watching him with his mouth open. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded. After five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. (...) “Put that away, will you?” said Sirius finally, as James made a fine catch and Wormtail let out a cheer. “Before Wormtail wets himself from excitement.” Wormtail turned slightly pink but James grinned. “If it bothers you,” he said, stuffing the Snitch back in his pocket. Harry had the distinct impression that Sirius was the only one for whom James would have stopped showing off. (Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix, chapter "Career Advice")

Again, Peter absolutely idolised his friends... and yet James calls him "thick", Sirius mocks him for being overexcited and he just Peter blushes. He laughs when the others laugh, watches James in open admiration and seeks approval constantly.

There is a clear hierarchy within the group: James leads, Sirius reinforces, Remus quietly observes and Peter follows.

Could years of living in that position have bred resentment? Perhaps. Canon never states that explicitly, so I would never claim it as fact. However, I do think the possibility deserves more attention than it usually receives.

Now, back to Lupin. Whenever he talks about himself, his language is brutal and constantly filled with guilt.

“That’s where all of this starts — with my becoming a werewolf. None of this could have happened if I hadn’t been bitten … and if I hadn’t been so foolhardy. …”

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter "Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs".

He blames himself for having been bitten. He thinks it was the origin of all the tragedy around the Potters!

“What sort of animal — ?” Harry began, but Hermione cut him off. “That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you’d given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?” “A thought that still haunts me,” said Lupin heavily. “And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness.” “I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore’s trust, of course … he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others’ safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. "But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month’s adventure. And I haven’t changed …"

(Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban - chapter "Moony, Warmtail, Padfoot and Prongs")

He said he acted cowardly, repeatedly speaks of betraying Dumbledore's trust and blames himself for failures that were not entirely his own. He even says he led his friends into becoming Animagi!

Yet when he speaks about James or Sirius, his tone softens immediately.

“But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black … Peter Pettigrew … and, of course, your father, Harry — James Potter. (...) “My dad too?” said Harry, astounded. “Yes, indeed,” said Lupin. “It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school.

Lupin’s face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice. “All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn’t do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I’d betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I’d led others along with me … and Dumbledore’s trust has meant everything to me. (...) And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it … so, in a way, Snape’s been right about me all along.”"

"You see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me —” Black made a derisive noise. “It served him right,” he sneered.

"(...) Sirius thought it would be — er — amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and he’d be able to get in after me. ”

“Severus was very interested in where I went every month.” Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. “We were in the same year, you know, and we — er — didn’t like each other very much."

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, chapter "Moony, Warmtail, Padfoot and Prongs"

Lupin looked sideways at Sirius and then said, “Look, Harry, what you’ve got to understand is that your father and Sirius were the best in the school at whatever they did — everyone thought they were the height of cool — if they sometimes got a bit carried away —” “If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean,” said Sirius. Lupin smiled.

Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix, chapter "Career Advice" Let's just take a second to appreciate his wording. The hesitation ("er...") he uses whenever he's trying to look for an eufemism while talking to Harry. That's says a lot. And then a near-fatal prank becomes "a trick", bullying becomes boys who "got carried away", James's flaws are almost always followed by a "yes, but..."

One of my favourite examples comes during Harry's conversation with Sirius and Remus in Order of the Phoenix. Harry has just watched Snape's Worst Memory. His image of his father has been shattered. Meanwhile, Remus suddenly brightens and eagerly asks:

"Was he playing with the Snitch?"

I cannot help rolling my eyes and say "Not you, Remus!" every time I read that line. I mean, come on! Harry is experiencing an identity crisis and Lupin has momentarily become a nostalgic fifteen-year-old again.

The single word "eagerly" reveals an enormous amount about him. It shows how deeply he loved James and how difficult he found it to see James with complete objectivity. He was profoundly grateful to him. James was one of the first people who discovered Remus's greatest secret... and stayed. From the little we know about the Marauders' dynamics, he was probably the frst one. That kind of acceptance changes a person forever.

It explains why Remus so often judges himself with extraordinary harshness while instinctively searching for kinder explanations for those he loved.

His greatest flaw was loyalty taken to an unhealthy extreme. (He even forgave Sirius for the prank!)

Perhaps this is why Remus remains my favourite character to this day; because he was painfully, beautifully human. PS. - I never cared for the Marauders, never understood all the fuss about an Era that we knew so little about, much less about arrogant bullies (and no, I never liked Draco Malfoy either and I grew up hating every single Slytherin except for Slughorn).

These are my Top 3 fancasts for Remus in the tv show.💖

(We all love David Thewlis and the films will still be there for us to watch, but I’m really excited to see more of our sweet and tormented wolfie.)

1. Iwan Rheon

He voiced Remus in the audiobooks and did a surprisingly superb job.

Plus, he’s one of the best and most versatile actors of his generation and he does have something wolfish about him.

Also, he’s once starred in a TV series called “The Light in The Dark” where he played a loner who saw himself as a dangerous monster.

And let’s not forget: he’s Welsh like Remus’ mum and he worked with some of the producers in “Game of Thrones”.

Advantage: He knows Remus better than any other actor.

Disadvantage: Although he has a bit of a baby face, he’ll already be around 42 when they cast the actor to play Remus.

2. Luke Newberry

He looks almost to a T like how Remus is described in the books (there’s a reason why he was actually cast to play Teddy in the films!) and he’s the same age as Paapa Essiedu.

Plus he’s used to play outcasts (he did it in his most popular role, on the tv series “In The Flesh”, where he played a tormented zombie.

Advantage: He played Teddy Lupin in the epilogue, but his scene was cut. Maybe they’ll bring him back to compensate him like they did with the actor who played Sir Cadogan (whose scenes were cut) and is now playing Filtch.

Disadvantage: We don’t know if he’s got the necessary depth to play such a layered character.

3. Dev Patel

If they want to go with an alternative non-white actor to play Remus, like they did with Snaps, Patel is the right age, looks fragile like Remus is supposed to and could perfectly portray Remus’ intensity.

Advantage: The fact that many people want one of the marauders to be played by a non-white actor (and being black would take away all the weight of lycanthropy).

Disadvantage: The fact that most people (me include) don’t like when they get actors too different from the way the characters are described.

So, any thoughts on these three options?

Any other option? I could add Callum Turner, but he was already Theseus Scamander in “Fantastic Beasts”.