Let's Get Big

Rummaging around for a little something before bed

The more cakes sent my way, the bigger my belly grows

What happens if someone comes down the aisle?

Hard to stop it once it gets going

Busting out of shirts always makes me wanna gain more weight

The more of these I eat the better

Best way to pass time on the couch

There have been a few, increasing in severity, on my path to unfit morbid obesity.

1) First time in college I outgrew a pair of pants and had to go buy new ones. Sucking it in wasn't enough and it was too uncomfortable to continue wearing what I had.

2) First time I experienced chaffing, was walking around a festival and my thighs were rubbing together all day.

3) Trying to go for a run and realizing I just couldn't do it anymore, it hurt my knees and feet too much. I only made it a few yards down the street. I walked home and threw those running shoes away and called the gym and quit. I guess that was the day I fully committed to becoming morbidly obese.

4) Outgrowing another pair of pants to find out they didn't carry what I needed in store, I'm too fat for what they carry in the store.

5) Being unable to reach my shoes and tie them from a seated position, having to learn to put my foot over my knee and tie them sideways.

6) Going to the doctor for a cold and having her scold me for being obese (not yet morbid). She was really stern about it.

7) Having the dentist tell me she almost didn't recognize me and asking if I had been snacking a lot and eating a lot of sweets, because it looks like I've put on a lot of weight. She was the one that recommended I get CPAP because she could tell I was snoring and open mouth breathing from my teeth somehow. I remember her grabbing my double chin and telling me all the extra weight on my neck was causing my throat to narrow and me to snore. Never been so turned in a medical setting before or since.

8) Going to my CPAP appointment and seeing that all the seats in the presentation room for how to use the equipment were these huge double wide seats and I kinda realized... oh wow these seats are for people like ME. Then 20 other fatties trickled in to get fitted for CPAP and I realized I was one of them, awesome feeling.