hiiii

Taking loads? Okay, so you’re a thief? You like to steal things?

Bouncin on it business-lunch style. Call that "touching base"

yeah we should touch base more often! your lips down to the base of my cock

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

My brain fell out got dirt all over it

one of my favorite hobbies is not being a parent

The only true way to immortality is to say so much weird shit that your words will forever live rent-free in other peoples' heads. Like the person who decided to string together the sequence of words "shaking like a chihuahua shitting out a peach stone." Like why did you make me read that. It emerges in my head regularly, whenever I least expect it and the situation needs it the least.

I do that often

Shit out peach stones?