toe drag, release

quit your job talk to me on discord

no offense to the english but i just found out england has only ever won the world cup once.. wtf do you mean “it’s coming home” she doesn’t even know you omg

can't believe we've all been here since we were 14 and now we're all 20000 years old

hrpf but instead of any romance your teams just make better choices

making friends via fandom is inherently hilarious because in many ways it's like a regular friendship and sometimes you'll share stuff that's going on in your lives and offer support and talk about food or pets or random cultural stuff because you live on opposite sides of the damn planet, but also some of your interactions are like "hello beloved friend whom I cherish deeply, I have brought you a deceptively platonic gift of lovingly crafted star wars porn"

do you think that when the big arm on the trash truck aggressively grabs the trash can on the curb and dumps it into the truck that it's like a little sexual for the trash can

me, adding a new tag to my block list: I’m so glad my beloved mutual has discovered a new source of joy

Your friend’s unpublished fic idea is kind of a dead wife

does anyone know how to go to sleep

Soccer players are the horses of sports. They run around in fields for hours on end. They stub their toe and they die. They fall and they die. They run into each other and

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

i think about this moment often

*catches your white whale easily and by accident*