i love this kitty

That FACEEE

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

men are not “helping out” when they take care of their children… they’re taking care of their children.

the kind of softness that comes with bare legs in cotton sheets and the breeze in your window humming a low nighttime summer song

WOW THIS ONE IS TOO CLOSE

reblog the Don Draper of getting a job he’s unqualified for and you’ll have 10 years of getting jobs you’re unqualified for

YES

date someone that makes you roll your eyes and smile after

Dying rn

@butterynutjob

He stopped in front of the mirror and sighed. His penis was just a little too large to be fashionable, and his balls were just a little lopsided. Most days it didn’t bother him, but today he pushed at his genitals, trying to make them look more normal, like the men in magazines. It was hopeless. He dropped his junk in resigned frustration. There were worse things than having too large of a penis, he thought.

While, granted, some writers do take the breast thing too far, this comparison doesn’t even make sense. Men don’t obsess about their genitals the way women obsess about their breasts because they’re not in your face all the time (in the case of large boobs). Breasts are just more visible (closer to eye level).

I’m just loling about supposedly obsessing over my breasts because they’re near my face.

I needed this belly-laugh, I really did, so many you did too.

I..am..idk

🤣😂🤣

And before anyone says anything about women who are into women: breasts can be attractive, but they’re still mundane and we are perfectly able to not ogle or feel abashed when in the presence of bare-breasted people.

I think I love you,  @randaness

how are dudes so fucking clueless

Naturally, he’s an antifeminist. Shocker!

at work we have a family of three huskies who come in for daycare and everyone calls them “the mafia” it makes me so happy because occasionally out of nowhere someone over the radios will say “we’re sending in the mafia” and then three huskies barrel their way inside and usually slip and fall on the tile ajfjajg

this is the only pure post

New d&d dice proposal called lucked or fucked: a d20 but ten sides have 1s and ten sides have 20s, so you crit no matter what but it’s always a guessing game for which way it goes. To be used on really important, make-or-break-the-campaign rolls

Ya I know you could use a coin but listen. It’s not about the outcome, it’s about the Drama™