Fan-freaking-tastic

Happy Flat Fuck Friday

The whole “protect the children” stuff makes a lot more sense when you realize that they treat their children like their possessions, so it’s less “let our children live their best lives” and more “don’t mess with my long term investment”

No experience more viscerally humiliating than walking through a heavily populated building with squeaky shoes. Look at me doing my little clown walk across the entire length of the building. Dumbass squeaking noises ringing out with every step. Sounds like I'm walking on two guinea pigs. I wish I was dead

Sometimes knowing spoilers for shows is more fun cause u get to spend the show being like how the fuck does that even end up happening ..

People don’t wanna break down boxes anymore have yall noticed that? No one gives a fuck these days

just did a really good job of cutting a bagel there's no weird thin or thick parts it's all even all over. this is huge for me

the postal service names their shit exactly like how a 16 y.o. names angsty fanfic

Explain.

There needs to be an even darker screen brightness option

platonically shooting my friendshot hoping I don't get acquaintance-zoned

“how long have you been on tumblr?” i remember the term “nightblogging”

*takes a drag from an imaginary cigarette* I remember you knew you stayed up refreshing your dash too late when the Australians started posting

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

Unironically obsessed with the people who's realization that we're in a fascist country is a late night comedian getting his show canceled and not like, anything before that. Like even in recent history.

the problem with me is i cannot differentiate what is & is not my circus and what are & are not my monkeys. this gives you mental health conditions