이거 뭐야?

i'm convinced sophie has secretly been collecting people like pokémon. somehow she's managed to know both of us and yet we've never really had a conversation ourselves. that feels like something we should probably correct. so, tell me what's new with you? @huddywillams

i'm blaming this entire thing on sophie. clearly she has some evil mastermind plan in the works to prevent us from speaking for whatever reason. what's new with me though? not much. living my best vacation life right now. took a dip in the waters of greece and now i'm in london trying my best every morning not to gag over the thought of beans on toast... no offense. what's new with you?

oh, so that's your master plan ? debut her once and then watch all the copy cats roll in ? i can't believe you're doing this to the little hailey figure and me. i need seven to ten business days to recover from this. hopefully, you've come up with a new game for us by then because otherwise, i might never watch your show.

absolutely obsessed with the obvious lack of faith we have in each other here. during those seven to ten business days, make sure you take a moment to appreciate that i'm even sharing her with the world. could've been my precious little purse secret. something tells me you're not going to watch it anyways so taking that as an excuse to not have to come up with a new game. laziness wins once again. oops.

I hear you're travelling more than me lately, and I've been on tour. Do you know how to stay still or...? @huddywillams

how's tour? any wild ass tour stories to share?? as for staying still — never. too much of the world to see, so little time.

he retired and i think he just came out of retirement to do another movie but i feel like he was seen a lot outside when he did movies. and he has like three oscars so you know not too bad. okay, as long as you are all good. i have to do my duty as a dad and check to make sure that you are doing good. burn out is real and it's not fun. am i? yeah i'm doing good. sweating my ass in Florida right now for a movie but otherwise feeling really great.

good on him. has to be nice to be able to vanish for a bit and then pop back up to do a movie whenever you want. i'm great, i promise. nothing to worry about here. if there was, you'd be the first to hear about it via me bitching over text. what are you filming? tell me about this movie.

lola: that is what Im calling them from now on, sorry pal but not really. Daww you enjoy your tears of joy there. hey you above anyone else know it's a struggle in people pleasing. Fair we dont know it yet

I'm guessing you've been in about 20 different places since, huh? Where you at now? I'll try come find you before you teleport again.

paris and greece. still in greece, actually. i finally fucking managed to slip a vacation in between this endless cycle of work. where are you? la still? i'll come to you instead, man. post-greece, i'll come visit for a whole weekend to bother you.

lola: damn you are cutthroat. I like when you get like this. I actually had a Hudson moment today when I said, no I have talked to enough people I dont need anymore boring conversations and I thought of you. maybe he likes the snow though maybe hes outfitted his expansive wardrobe for it?

i'll just be ready for your bitching once we step foot on set. at least then we can spend a couple of months together again. i've really missed you, huddy. that was so awesome. still a big 'pinch me' moment if i have to be honest. i was sat next to madonna and had a full on conversation with her. so insane. sounds perfect. i'll probably be watching it in my trailer when i'm not filming. look at you feeding my ego again here. hmm, and you just can't say no to aj. and here i thought it was just curly haired blondes.

i've missed you too, baby. it's fucking crazy how long we've gone without seeing each other this time around. we'll have to get together soon to celebrate this emmy nom of yours. which, speaking of — congrats! so fucking proud of you. i hope you did something to celebrate. if not, i'm coming to change that asap. in your trailer? you're about to get so fucking sick of my face. i mean, there's only one curly haired blonde that i can't say no to... julia garner. i'm kidding. we both know it's you. no shame in that game.

Oh, so now I have homework? Fine. I'll start pitching things to anyone who'll listen. I expect you to back me up. I'm offended that I'd even have to earn exception status. I thought we had something. Also, yes, showing up in the background of whatever I'm filming next is exactly the kind of unhinged commitment to the bit that I appreciate. If you do it well enough, maybe no one will notice until the premiere. And okay, Tyrant. That's right. Between the two of us, we have one functioning brain cell. We just have to figure out who's using it on any given day. What's the movie about?

i will back you up with my entire heart and soul, i promise. i'll be so enthusiastic about this decision that they'll have no choice but to go for it, if only to shut me up. nooooo, we do have something! i just need a little more proof that it's real. maybe they won't notice at all and i'll just be a faded background character, never spoken about or mentioned. could go either way. at this point, i think we might have actually split it in half and broke it. eh, the official description is 'set in nyc's high-end culinary world with shades of wall street and whiplash'. intense shit.

I've dealt with Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, and Nicholas Hoult for years. I'm resilient. So what's one more annoying man? Nothing I can't handle. And yes, if we ever work together, it has to be a comedy. I don't think either of us could keep a straight face long enough to survive a serious drama. Also, careful what you wish for with the lead role opposite me. That means you're stuck with me for months. By week three you'll be calling your agent asking if there's still time to recast. But I do like your vision. I have a feeling we'd either make a really fun movie... or get banned from set forever.

very honored to be joining a list of such annoying men. no, you're right. we'd be cracking up every take, making the director and entire crew hate us. it'd make for a tense workplace and that's never any good. so, comedy it is. oh no, i would never. the goal would be to make you break first and have you on the phone with your agent first. who knows, maybe it would be the opposite and we would come out the other side as besties. there's only one true way to find out. start dropping our names to all your big movie friends asap, thank you.