Taylor had been fiddling in the garage. A thing he randomly took up the second the motorcycle was out of the picture, finding random little projects to do out in the garage when he wanted a reset or to take a moment to get lost in something. Something always needed screwed or put back together if not he'd find a thing. The thing that truly caused him restlessness back in his sanctuary now was he could have expected River or Dakota would have interrupted that tranquil little moment with questions that tested his resolve or worst of all touch something out here and really set him on edge. but none of that had come in least a half hour by his count. So he did the only reasonable thing one does when his poking audience didnt show up, go seek them out. In the spanse of their very large home that tested the balance of both rustic and modern, Taylor entered, head on a swivel looking for signs of them either about.. River was in her little version of a fenced in play space. "Where is your mother?" he asked directly not expecting a answer and not his proudest moment of ignoring her chattering gasps back. He was now on a curious mission. The absence of River's mother more noted than the fact of the kid was secure in the little padded space.
He walked the closed in hallway, walls so tight it felt like a pirate gangway , Taylor notated how all the lights were dimmed, barely a amber light in the small space in mid day gave it a entering cave like quality. Made it feel secluded and dare say ominous walking the pass back to their bedroom. The atmosphere in the bedroom wasn't much of a difference, no it was even darker in his eyes. He could make out Dakota's form in outline black only sitting there on the bed. Painted with the further dim lights, the weight of it all hanging over like .. well he couldn't put that feeling into words beyond it made him uneasy with some dread of some grand unknown thing. Dakota's frantic move to hide something from him particularly he could hear more than see. Taylor hovered there, actually matched to the mood of the room just standing their watching with dark eyes that only gave a dim glisten as they scanned what he could make of her form. His gaze lingered on Dakota, now his sharp could make sense of the sound of the frantic motion of her arms and now see how they were held back. The way her shoulders pinned back and form so rigid like she was protecting some grand secret.
He knew her too well for such games. He knew her down to the cadence of her breathing when she was calm, and with equal measure, the rigid posture she assumed when she was attempting to hold back from him. "I wrapped up out in the garage," Taylor said softly, his voice was introduced as a calm steady rhythm to whatever chaotic tone he could tell was thumbing in her body. He stepped into the room, closing the door quietly behind him, a subtle boundary shutting out the rest of the world, leaving just the two of them. He knew there was a baby monitor on both their phones, with little attention paid to his phone he thumbed up quickly the image of River from the other room. He didn't want to press her immediately. Rather approaching her like a scared animal he so often shot pictures of that now hung on their walls. It was a slow, deliberate pace, his eyes never leaving hers as he traced a way. The slight limp in his stride, it came out in times like this where he stretched in unfamiliar ways, a reminder of the accident that had nearly shattered their world.
He stood just a foot away from her when he stopped his journey. He reached out, a cool and steady hand finding its way to rest quickly on her knee. Even through the jeans, he could feel the anxious energy coming off her."Hey," he murmured, his tone held in equal measure tenderness and concern. "You know you are a terrible liar Kota. And you are a even worse magician. What are you trying to hide from me?" He asked his deep eyes now laced with the same concern of his tone.
This man knew her too well. Probably better than she knew herself sometimes. Usually that was one of the things she loved most about him. The way he could read her with a single glance. The way he noticed the things she didn't say just as easily as the things she did. Right now, though, it felt like a curse. Dakota wasn't ready for this conversation. She wasn't ready to face him. She wasn't ready to face whatever those tests might tell her. For the past three days she'd been avoiding it. Finding excuses. Telling herself she'd do it tomorrow. Or after lunch. Or before bed. Anything to postpone the moment her life could potentially split into a before and after. And now there was nowhere left to hide. His hand rested against her knee, steady and familiar. God, he always did that. Always seemed to instinctively know when she was unraveling and reached for her before she could completely fall apart.
Dakota stared at him. At the concern in his eyes. At the patience.mAt the softness. Part of her wanted to lie. Not because she wanted to deceive him. Because she wanted five more minutes. Five more minutes of not knowing. Five more minutes before everything became real. But lying had never worked with Taylor. Not really. Not when he looked at her like that. Her throat tightened. Slowly, she exhaled. The breath left her lungs shaky and uneven. Without saying anything, she pulled her hands forward. The two boxes appeared between them. For a second she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Instead her eyes drifted toward the ceiling as though answers might be written somewhere above them. Silence settled over the room. Then she finally looked back at him. "I'm late."
The words came out quieter than she'd intended. Almost swallowed by the darkness around them. The moment they left her mouth, her pulse kicked even harder. She could feel it everywhere. In her chest. In her throat. In the tremble threatening her hands. Run. The instinct arrived immediately. Run from the conversation. Run from the uncertainty. Run from the possibility that everything was about to change. It was an old reflex. One she'd spent years trying to outgrow. Dakota swallowed hard. "I can't." Her voice cracked slightly. The words escaped before she could stop them. Before she could soften them. Before she could make them sound less terrible. "I can't have another baby, Taylor." She finally looked at him then. And suddenly all the fear she'd been carrying alone came rushing to the surface. Not fear of him. Never him. Fear of everything else. The hospital. The accident. The memory of sitting beside his bed wondering if her life was about to be divided into before and after. The realization that she had almost lost him. The horrifying certainty that she would never survive something like that twice.
"I can't do this alone." The confession barely made it above a whisper. A tear slipped free despite her best efforts. Then another. Dakota laughed softly through it, humorless and broken. "I know that's not even what's happening." She shook her head. "But ever since the accident..." Her voice failed for a moment. She looked away. "I keep thinking about what would've happened if things had gone differently." The room suddenly felt too small. Too warm. Too full of everything she'd been trying not to think about for months. "What if something happened to you?" The question hung there. Her fingers tightened around the unopened boxes. "I know it's irrational. I know it is." More tears gathered. "I just... I finally got you back." Her eyes found his again. Vulnerable in a way she hated. "I finally got you back and the thought of bringing another baby into this world when my mind is doing that weird thing, telling myself I might lose you..." She shook her head. "I don't know how to make my brain stop going there." For the first time since he'd walked into the room, Dakota let herself lean toward him. Just slightly. Like gravity itself was pulling her in his direction. "I'm scared." The admission came out so quietly it was almost lost between them. "I can't have another kid."
