Can you even imagine?

So many people these days are super willing to conflate being annoying with being a morally reprehensible bastard which is not great for all of us annoying people.

practicing radical acceptance about the fact that I'm always gonna be weird and awkward and a little difficult to be around. it's okayyyy to be weird as hell

guy in the elevator with us just announced that a river appeared in the desert somewhere for the first time in 2000 years, and the prophecy is complete. another dude (did not arrive with the first guy) nodded affirmatively and said everything is in its right place

what's the dewey decimal number for foreskin. coward

prostrating myself at your feet for my lack of composure thank you for your wisdom

Me af

It's 10PM. Do you know where your uncle is?

damn this post made me realize I forgot to text my uncle back on #EasterSunday

I'm instituting a new policy of "if I can't easily read your crusty scanned PDF then I'm sending it back to you, telling you to get your shit together and save your .docx as .pdf, and causing snakes to manifest inside your house"

this but also if you are in accounting and you have an Excel file please do not save it as a PDF or take a screenshot of it and then paste it into another Excel file

I take it back whatever you have going on is way worse than what I was dealing with holy shit

yeah no this is a real thing an actual human being said to me

the bird fights its way out of the egg. awww. awwww. aw. the egg is the world So Cute. so so So cute.

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

oh this is my post