House Flylore

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

Vampires are just nocturnal, the same way we are diurnal. A vampire could go out during the day, but they would just rather be sleeping.

Vampires are just afraid of the light, the same way we are afraid of the dark. Their eyes are meant to see in the dark, so they just can’t see very well in the light. It hurts their eyes and they can’t see what’s around them, so it’s just scary.

Some vampire was probably too afraid to admit that he was afraid of the light, so he made up a fake allergy to the sun. Word got out to mortals, so we just assumed that all vampires are allergic to the sun. You know how mortals like to stereotype and whatnot.

Uber blocked my access to the “help” and “previous trips” tabs in the app. I can no longer reach out to them through the app and - if I hadn’t already screenshotted his info - I’d have no access to my uber drivers name and license plate.

Couple things: One, yes, I did get my keys back. After about two weeks of messaging back and forth, trying to find new avenues to reach Uber’s support and having plates ran, i got my keys. The car key doesn’t start my car anymore, just grinds the engine, so I’m inclined to believe sometime during my separation from them, they were deactivated or something. I know that I SHOULD change the locks. But I don’t have another $300 to go to a locksmith to do that.

Two, y’all have posted some downright horrifying stories and it really made me think about how hard I had to search to get an actual phone number. But y’all listen: Uber has a secret phone number. Its a “critical emergency” line and they definitely hung up on me when I called it, but I had a location for my keys about 30 minutes after.

I tussled with sharing it, because it’s supposed to be the 911 of Uber, but then, after reading all the stories and realizing y’all have been in perilous situations and that the drivers that put you in them are still earning money by putting people in danger, I realized Uber doesn’t give a shit. If it’s supposed to be Ubers 911, everyone should know it. I can’t guarantee if you’ve lost something this will work, but if your driver is/was erratic, or threatened you, or harmed you, their number is 800-353-UBER. It’s 24 hours. They may or may not hang up on you. But it’s what I did, and - I know just not uber/lyfting isn’t an option for most of us - I’d suggest it for y’all too.

800-353-UBER

800-353-UBER

800-353-UBER

Here’s @dduane​’s first take on it and the finished product. We’ve made even more photogenic batches since.

Kneading is easy as well; either let your machine do it, or if you don’t want to or don’t have one, get hands-on. It’s like mixing two colours of Plasticine to make a third. Flatten, stretch, fold, half-turn, repeat - it takes about 10 minutes - until the gloopy conglomeration of flour, yeast, salt and water that clings to your hands at the beginning, becomes a compact ball that doesn’t stick to things and feels silky-smooth.

Here’s what before and after look like.

My Mum used to say that if you were feeling out of sorts with someone, it was good to make bread because you could transfer your annoyance into kneading the dough REALLY WELL, and both you and the bread would be better for it.

Then you put it into a bowl, cover it with cling-film and let it rise until it doubles in size, turn it out and “knock it back” (more kneading, until it’s getting back to the size it started, this means there won’t be huge “is something living in here?” holes in the bread), put it into your loaf-tin or whatever - we’ve used a regular oblong tin, a rectangular Pullman tin with a lid, a small glass casserole, an earthenware chicken roaster…

You can even use a clean terracotta flowerpot.

Let the dough rise again until it’s high enough to look like an unbaked but otherwise real loaf, then pop it in the preheated oven. On average we give ours 180°C / 355°F for 45-50 minutes. YM (and oven) MV.

Here’s some of our bread…

Here’s our default bread recipe - it takes about 3-4 hours from flour jar to cutting board depending on climate (warmer is faster) most of which is rise time and baking; hands-on mixing, kneading and knocking-back is about 20 minutes, tops, and less if using a mixer.

Here ( or indeed any of the other pics) is the finished product. This one was given an egg-wash to make it look glossy and keep the poppy-seeds in place; mostly we don’t bother with that or the slash down the middle, but all the extras were intentional as a “ready for my close-up” glamour shot.

I think any shop would be happy to have something this good-looking on their shelf. We’re happy to have it on our table.

Even if your first attempts don’t work out quite as well as you hope, you can always make something like this…

and then ONE is just like

stop! just stop. eat the special snack. drink the expensive hippie tea. use the incense or the bath bomb or whatever you paid way too much for because you were feeling really bad and retail therapy makes u feel alive

when we save things for special occasions/rainy days it contributes to us feeling like A.) our day to day existence is lackluster and B.) you have to be feeling a certain level of Bad, or have to reach a certain level of Socially Accepted Achievement, to enjoy things

just give yourself stuff. there are definitely sometimes reasons to withhold things from yourself - as motivation, if it’s something you consciously want to use sparingly, etc - but at least for me half the time it just turns into self-flagellation and also cool things and cool experiences and nice treats just collect dust while i wait for some fabled day when i convince myself i finally Deserve it

First reblog post that actually saves a life.

This is a life-saving post.

the more you know

yeah don’t think that this can’t happen to you or someone you know if they’re young. my cousin’s wife is 33 and she had a stroke last year

F- Face: is their face fallen on one side?

A- Arms: can they raise both their arms up and hold them there?

S- Speech: is their speech slurred? Can they speak a full sentence?

T- Time: if all the signs show a stroke, call 999.