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the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also

the cdc recommends you take a huge bong rip actually

I love movies where the plot takes place in less than a day. It’s like. What if these people were experiencing the worst 8 hours of the entire lives and you got to see the highlight reel?

I lied put your clothes back on. I don't know how to fuck and I'm scared

they should invent a january that doesn’t make you go through every emotion known to mankind every day

Damn right we do cause we a got Seto Kaiba’s routing and account numbers

thinking about anastasia trusova paintings again

met a guy from saudi arabia last night at a bar, he came here with his sister so she could have surgery. he told me “i love your country for healing my sister. there are many wonderful things here, but there’s one thing you do not have. mercy” and then he asked if that was a boston thing or an overall american quality

he also waffled for like five minutes saying he wanted to tell me something but i had to promise to not be offended, and i was looking pretty fruity and i was like “dang i might be about to get slurred but this man seems nice” and agreed, and he was like “in america, dogs are treated better than the homeless.” unfortunately 100% correct and very sobering

this is what it feels like to hear people screaming for mercy from the zombie hoards outside your walled compound while ublock origin mercilessly snipes anything that approaches

Y'all check on your law school friends. The bar is soon they are not okay

Evidence: my husband forgot what day it was last week and I received a text that said "why the fuck did no one tell me it was Friday?"

T minus 6 days until the bar and my husband just walked in a circle around the house for 15 minutes yesterday saying "I do not know the things" and 'stop. Stop dying. Wills are too confusing everyone stop dying"

Update : " everyone just fucking stop owning things. property is stupid and no one understands it. just stop. move to the woods. be free. "

Oh dang y'all blew this up.

This post always comes round around this time and I want to wish all the baby law students taking the bar in February good luck! You got this!

It's that time of year again where this has started circulating! Good luck baby lawyers!

"I wanna go home" - me at home

Chauncer would’ve lovt this post.

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

if a girl tried to sacrifice me to the old gods that would be totally fine and I would submit but if a guy did that I would fight back a little

unless he was really hot I guess (the god or the guy)

in which case it is appropriate to fight back for homoerotic reasons

Not me, I’m a pacifist. I just make sad pathetic little noises while he strikes me and look up at him with my honest big brown eyes. He knows he killed a good man and it punishes him more than any physical harm I could do to him.

ohhhh if you hit him with that 🥺 hard enough he'll never land the killing blow

I’m so patheticcore. I’m such a poor little meow meow.

any decent man would take u in and nurse u back to health under the patronage of the old gods he once foolishly believed he could bring himself to sacrifice u to

(he doesn’t know I am loved by all of the gods and by showing me clemency he saved himself from all manner of ills and perils)

homoerotic failed human sacrifice

I still think its the funniest shit ever that when I used to volunteer at planned parenthood every week even though I walked past mostly the same protesters every single time they were begging me not to get an abortion theres other options yadda yadda. Like meemaw you see me here every week. They call me abortions georg because I get another one every Monday at 8am

Happy monday! *looks at my watch* oh boy time to go get another abortion 😊