assthrax

Stephen King rightly gets a lot of shit for frequently having his characters think and speak in pop culture references that only make sense if you spent your formative years in 1970s Maine, but I feel like articulating that particular criticism on Tumblr is something of a glass-houses situation.

maybe there never were any twin towers. like did u ever see them?

So I know all you kids are joking around but no, you’re not allowed to make jokes about this. No.

girl don’t you ship hockey players.

And baseball players 👍🏻

Oh hey look it’s me! I usually cut up kittens food but I always ask her just in case she ever wants to be a big girl. I love you lil britches mwuah

*Banging table* CUMMIES CUMMIES CUMMIES

hE WEARING AN ED EDD AND EDDY SHIRT NOBODY GONNA SAY SHIT ABoUT THIS

the sewing machine is like if a horse and an inkjet printer had a child

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next