𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃... 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃

private: well too bad, i'm doing so. i'm done with us fighting and you should know my first instinct is to fight before doing anything. i am being self aware here. i could have just wallowed in my own head and kept things as they were. i didn't want to do that though. i get that and i shouldn't have just right out called you a dick. i'm sorry for doing that. i mean i get it. would you really though cause honestly, i don't know if you could be that mean even if i was being a dick myself. plus i need you at the end of the day. i can't go to the younger ones for every single thing.

PRIVATE: clearly, but that doesn't mean i was ready or prepared for this ambush of yours. you know, for someone who constantly says he's tired of fighting and dealing with drama, you sure as hell know how to start one. all i asked of you, as my fucking hyung and older brother, was to remove someone who threatened me from a space i was forced to stay in. trust me, if madelaine had treated you disrespectfully, i would've told her to move to a different hotel in the area without a second thought. but no. you were so focused on what she meant to you that you failed to see me in that moment. and the thing is... you're absolutely right. i would, no matter the circumstances, stand by you. how fucking ironic, don't you think? i'll talk to megan in my own time, when i'm ready, and when i've managed to turn all of this into something that resembles a life lesson. but using tae as a weapon to make peace between us shouldn't even be a consideration on your end. for once, let him enjoy his happiness and let you and me deal with this privately. cool, cool. but i needed you the other day, and you chose to be selfish. so here we are.

private: so i know you probably don't wanna hear from me plus hyung did say you won't reach out but i'm doing so now. i don't wanna avoid you and i don't like not being able to be near you at all. i get you wanted me right there no matter what but i also gotta call you out as well. it wouldn't be a friendship if i didn't plus we have each other no matter what so we need to make up. otherwise i was gonna use tae against you cause none of us could be upset with him. @hoseoksjay

PRIVATE: then what part of me not wanting you to reach out didn't you understand? and call me out on what exactly, yoongi? you know what i fail to see in this weak-ass message of yours? self awareness. regardless of what i did or didn't do, you shouldn't have called me a dick before hearing my side of the story. that's pretty fucking low for someone who's supposed to be a hyung. but you know what? next time you find yourself in the middle of some shit, don't expect me to jump in. i'll be sitting on the sidelines laughing my fucking ass off.

excuse you?! i am cute, when i'm not being devilish. wait... so you're asking me to tour with you guys? you want me to be the hoseok groupie? does that mean endless dick appointments whenever i want them? even on stage? bring me up like usher does? nevermind, i'd be the next army target. but like... i think i'm fucking in. but, i do need to go back to la and get things sorted with olive. i need to find someone to watch her... unless you guys don't mind if i bring her along? i mean, you have a nice ass... and abs... and i'm still dreaming about your madrid look every time i close my eyes.

you and i have very different definitions of what's cute, jagiya. so i wouldn't exactly go as far as to call you my groupie. i'd call you my date instead. but if that's the label that lets me get a little freaky with you, then by all means, be my groupie. and during what song would this happen? boy in luv? mic drop? you wanna be sat in a chair while i attempt to pull off a magic mike? babe, there are kids at our shows... so obviously i'm in. yeah? you're the best. bring her along for all i care. i know taehyungie would appreciate having a dog running around backstage. says the woman who's seen me naked a handful of times?

private: NO. you will not pin this on me. I refuse to accept that narrative after that uncalled response. even I don't stoop that low, no matter how pissed off I am. calling my vernacular high and mighty ghetto talk. and if you can't see how wrong that is—then educated yourself. and just to clarify, it was colloquilism based in the saying: all up in the kool-aid and don't even know the flavor; i.e.—you don't know what's going on. in no way did I demean you and your culture. now tell me, hoseok; how was I supposed to take it? when you refer to my manner of speech as such? it'd be different if you were kinfolk but you're not. so yeah, that usage has whole different meaning from someone of another race. and no, I haven't taken it there. out of respect of the mutual people in our lives. and because a part of me still loves you despite that low blow. it's the only reason I'm not in hell mode.

private: jesus fucking christ, so where's the line, megan? you can talk about my misshapen face? you can talk shit to me, but the second i get personal, you pull the uno reverse card like it's no big deal? i'm going to talk to you in a way that i hope you'll understand without twisting my words to fit your narrative. normally, when someone insults another person, the mature approach is to turn the other cheek. i, however, decided to throw the words right back at you. when you then decided to start preaching violence, it became a threat. the truth of the matter is that i didn't understand half the references in your reply, mainly because you were using metaphors that i'm going to assume were meant as insults. so tell me, megan, calmly and honestly, why is it that you're able to draw the line only when it benefits you? why can you comment on me and my appearance like that's not something i've personally and culturally been battling for years? why are you allowed to take a swing at me? is it because my heritage and culture are somehow less important to defend? educate me on where the line is drawn and why it only seems to apply to you.