*　MONA　LISA　.

MADDIE: wait, what is this i hear through the grapevines that kook is trying to set you up? MADDIE: i might be isolated for reasons i'm not entirely sure of, but i still heard joon and kook talking about it yesterday. come into my room, please. MADDIE: i need to hear everything.

MADS: it's pretty bad when when your gay bestfriend realizes how sex deprived you are and tries to set you up with someone. which, like, i'm not mad at... but, oh my god, was i showing that much desperation? please tell me i wasn't... MADS: it's cause kook is a baby and everyone is treating you like some army trained sniper. aim always on point. ridiculous if you ask me. oh my god, does everyone know about this by now? am i going to be stared at while trying to bounce on it? MADS: i'm coming! with pastries and freshly squeezed juice for the love of my life!

JUNGKOOK: aish.. what's with everyone wanting to hurt me these days? i'm surprised if he actually agreed to do it. JUNGKOOK: alright, i'll make sure to celebrate you korean style, but just know, and i mean this from the bottom of my heart, that in my country, you're a year older. so how does it feel knowing you're actually 32 and heading straight for 33? JUNGKOOK: true, and i'd most likely get mr. lee to bail you out. i'll pay for it, though. JUNGKOOK: okay, his name is hoseok (as if you don't already know who he is), and he's a really cool guy. JUNGKOOK: yeah? tae's been very italian these past couple of days, and i, for one, am not about to miss out on european tae. he's almost as wild as vegas tae.

MADS: kook... get over the bump on your head from maddie... she didn't mean to! we're just girls stuck with you dummies and you know she's sensitive when it comes to people joon has liked in the past. MADS: i think that's disgusting and it makes me want to throw up honestly. i'll visit korea, but i'm not going to like the fact that i'm actually 32. why? why do they do that to you guys? explain the lore so i can understand. MADS: can you get me mr. lee's digits as well? cause... oppa. MADS: you're trying to... you know what? fuck it. he's hot. i'm hot. we should have fun in milan together, right? did he say he wanted to meet me? or are you just throwing me at his poor self? does he know what he's signing up for? i have questions. MADS: very italian as in... enjoying eating da meatballs? that was in an italian accent if you couldn't hear it. well, i wouldn't want you to miss out on any of that tbh. the world needs more gay sex so we can heal.

JUNGKOOK: bsffr, you could never be too much. at least you don’t flick me when i get too much. JUNGKOOK: i mean, i feel like you can kink shame when it’s about a tentacle. anime chicks never stand a chance against those. middle finger for yours. JUNGKOOK: i’m more concerned about how you’re going to deal with being in detention. can’t imagine you being locked in a small space without a phone and your skincare products. JUNGKOOK: i would frame that shit so fast i’d be kris jenner 2.0. also, i have a friend of mine that i want you to meet. JUNGKOOK: while i love spending time with you,because trust me i do, i need to get my tae fill.

MADS: ...i literally just asked tae tae to flick you for inviting me last. muah. MADS: you better get me more than a middle finger for my birthday or i'm cancelling this friendship. at least like... a foam finger or something. MADS: please! as if you could live without your phone and skincare products either you goon. would you bail me out though? MADS: a friend of yours you want me to meet? who? MADS: are you pawning me off, jeon jungkook?

tae: yay! the more the merrier. i mean i do love gifts but love hugs more. tae: i could do that. can't believe he invited you last. i would have invited you ages ago. you should have done what isabela did and just ask where kook was. that was her way of getting an invite since i always wanna hang out with her. tae: i miss you too! can't wait to hang out.

MADS: you're so adorable, i can't with you. MADS: right? it's like he forgot about me, i'm so offended! i never want to interrupt you guys' time though. i know you two love spending time with each other and it's so sweet. was starting to get fomo though, i'm not going to lie. MADS: have you done anything fun with the gang so far?

MADS: baby, i would NEVER joke with you on something this important as us reuniting again. MADS: 🔊•၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။|||။|| 0:10 MADS: thank god the guy sitting next to me is asleep he doesn't need to hear two screaming girlies ghdfbghd. MADS: handling yoongi? 👀 fuck you. don't make me horny on this plane. you know there's nothing i love more than a domme mommy. MADS: omg kaia and yeji, i can't wait to see them! MADS: is he going to hate me? wait, idc.

JUNGKOOK: ... how you're even more transparent than i am is a question for the gods. JUNGKOOK: but also 👀 how could we say no to that? you'd think korea was more open to flavored lube considering half the male population has a tentacle fetish, but whatever. JUNGKOOK: don't get yourself arrested, mads. but also, do it because i'd like to see a mugshot.

MADS: am i too much? good. it's what i inspire to be. MADS: that's what i'm saying! oh my god... not the tentacle fetish. i try my best not to kink shame cause i'm not an angel in any means, but that is wild on every level. tentacle for your birthday? MADS: i mean, if i did, it would be a fun story to tell, right? would anyone really be surprised i got arrested for lubing it up? MADS: maybe my mugshot will make it into the mount rushmore of mugshots, like paris hilton and lindsay lohan.