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@hoppingformylife

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reading about a character who is way too similar to you and having an outside perspective on the situation:
white boys be like âim gonna make you come so hardâ and ur like, what to my senses
every time i see this iâm thrown into hysterics because for some reason i NEVER anticipate the ending of this sentence
This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but itâs also kind of an amazing two-line poem? âHis Wife has filled his house with chintzâ is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and âchintzâ is a perfect word choice hereâsonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then âto keep it real I fuck him on the floorâ collapses that whole mood with short percussive soundsâbut itâs still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: âfuck him on the floor.â The use of âchintzâ is indeed great word choice.
Because Iâm insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of âkeep it realâ juxtaposed with âchintz.â It causes me to interpret the âchintzâ more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of âfuck,â which is a contrast with âchintzâ but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where âchintzâ is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is âfilled with chintzââsomething that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with âkeep it real.â
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wifeâs marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something âreal.â Thatâs a story, and itâs just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, yâall. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something
there's art now
everytime zuko goes out he leaves iroh a note that says âgone insane, back laterâ
When he does this at the palace Iroh just goes to the pond cause heâs always lying in the water with the turtleducks
in full fire lord regalia just absolutely submerged in the pond
Zuko just out there with the turtleducks vibing like
leave me alone uncle, im vibing
thank you so much for illustrating exactly what went through my head when i made this post

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For reasons that are very innocent, my 60 year old dad made a Twitter account with "daddy" in the handle and I truly don't know how to handle this. I ventured to mom that perhaps the name was...funny and she gave me Such a Look, and said, "don't tell him" and I was like, "YEAH FUCKING OBVIOUSLY MOM I AM NOT GOING TO TELL MY DAD ABOUT DADDY CULTURE," and she was like, "yeah me neither," and I said, "look if someone's going to it has to be you, you're married to him," and then I paused and thought, "are we the perverts? perverts who have forgotten the true meaning of daddy?" and she sighed and said, "the problem is that ever since he grew the beard he really is a hot daddy" and now I can't talk to either of my parents ever again because mom told me too much about his apparently amazingly strong biceps
YEAH MUH BOY THAT IS THE NIGHTMARE SCENARIO
I worked with a doctor who was the âfather of emergency medicineâ in my town so his twitter handle was
EMO_daddy
VACCINATE YA KIDS FFS
The other thing about measles is that it resets your bodyâs memory of other diseases. So all those times youâve gotten sick? Your bodyâs memory cells no longer remember those illnesses, so even if you get the same type of illness again your body will react like itâs the first time youâve been sick.
Itâs so much worse than âjust a diseaseâ.Â
Measles does WHAT
Holy fuck
What the fuck what the fuck what the fUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
antivaxxers also, in part, helped sabotaged the human lyme disease vaccine for lyme disease caused by borrelia burgdorferi infection (until 2016 the only known species of lyme disease causing bacteria in the USA). In 1998, the first lyme disease vaccine for the strain of the bacteria prevalent in the USA licensed. It passed clinical trials and was shown to be safe and effective; it was between 76 and 92% effective at preventing lyme disease with 3 injections. Antivaxxers proceeded to abuse the adverse affect reporting system, often complaining of arthritis, and this caused media and general hysteria about the vaccine. if you remember the flu vaccine hysteria around the swine flu epidemic, it was kind of like that. despite double-blind trials conducted both before and after licensing, that was unable to support their claims and instead displaying that the vaccine was safe and effective, the damage was done, and the vaccine was shelved in the USA. you can get a lyme disease vaccine in Europe, but Europe has a different strain of the bacteria that causes lyme disease.
Lyme disease can become very serious, it can infect the nervous system and cause neurological problems especially in young children who are often bitten on the head or the neck, undiagnosed it can cause chronic health issues that mimic other diseases. Without safe prophylactic measures beyond trying to minimize contact w ticks, this has driven people who have had lyme disease, have chronic effects from mass-disseminated lyme disease infection, or people who believe they have chronic lyme disease to go to quack doctors and undergo unsafe, unapproved medical treatment in an attempt to stop suffering.
This would not be happening on the scale that it is if antivaxxers didnât straight up execute a supervillain plot to sabotage the lyme disease vaccine. the vaccine was licensed in december 1998, which was the year andrew wakefield published his fraudulent research on the MMR vaccine
https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2018/5/7/17314716/lyme-disease-vaccine-history-effectiveness
https://www.niaid.nih.gov/diseases-conditions/lyme-disease-vaccines
these people are fucking dangerous beyond compare
edited for clarity
antivaxer are terrorists and should be dealt like one
H.Bomberguyâs video on the anti-vaccine movement is absolutely worth watching in its entirety. Because it lays out just how fucking twisted and wrong the entire thing is, and how this entire movement that is KILLING CHILDREN is based on a lie for money.
wait wait wait wait WAIT!
YOU GUYS HAD A VACCINE AGAINST FUCKING LYME????
AND THOSE ASSHATS HELPED TO SHELF THAT STUFF?????????
Do you people even KNOW just how much trouble lyme disease makes every fucking year? Holy shit think of the possibilities!!!
So when I say I hate anti-vaxxers, yeah. This is why.
Every antivaxxer needs run through a chipper feet first.
Yeah, I said it. đ
EVERYTIME I SEE THIS POST IâM AFRAID TO SCROLL TO THE END OF IT BECAUSE I ALWAYS THINK BETTY WHITE HAS DIED
Betty White, last of the jedi.
Rest in Peace.
Dear God please please please please please.
The captain, knowing they could pull the biggest prank on planet earth:
When I hear police sirens getting closer
Me, a homebody who never does anything illegal: They found me.

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every year I remember the dark power swelling within Monica at the front desk
tumblr is such a bizarre kind of social interaction. like. the rules are so different here. I once unfollowed someone because they said prime numbers were ugly and that was simply the last straw for me. imagine hanging out with a friend and getting up from the table and never talking to them again because they told you they hated prime numbers. thatâs what I did.
Howâs the Swedish Christmas goat doing? Has it caught fire this year?
This is how apparently
Security never saved it before. This is just the next level of difficulty and the gradual increase has only acted as training and made the Swedes unstoppable.
The swedes r like^
Security has saved it for the last 3 years, what are you talking about?
Well, it went via flaming arrow that one time, and tbh as a security pro there ainât much you can do if someone shoots a flaming arrow over your head and into the goat.
Except, of course, nod in respect to your worthy and victorious opponent.
This wiki article is hilariously salty
STOLLEN? Isnât this thing huge?
Yeah, Iâm going to live-tumble my reading of this amazing wiki article. Iâll tag it âchristmas goatâ and âlong postâ if you want to block my nonsense. But youâll miss gems like this:
There is only one sure way to save the goat. A mob that is filled with righteous anger.
But it doesnât tell me WHO launched three successful attacks against the goats (btw there are two goats because the people who made the first goat got tired of people burning their goat, so they quit making it and another organization took up the task. The first organization started making their goat again after the second organization got into the Guinness Book of World Records for their goatâs size. So now the two groups continue to make separate goats.)
Now this is Christmas.
I donât even know who I am rooting for in this situation.
no wonder so many bond villains come from the nordics they pull shit like this for a straw goatÂ
Look at that speed
0h my Heavens, itâs TRUE
@hoshi-neko-hikari
Holy duck!

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omggggg
that kitty really went
that kitty is watching Psycho
Can you tell me why Frodo is so important in lotr? Why can't someone else, anyone else, carry the ring to mordor?
but someone else could.
thatâs the whole point of frodoâthere is nothing special about him, heâs a hobbit, heâs short and likes stories, smokes pipeweed and makes mischief, heâs a young man like other young men, except for the singularly important fact that he is the one who volunteers. there is this terrible thing that must be done, the magnitude of which no one fully understands and can never understand before it is done, but frodo says me and frodo says I will.
(when boromir is thinking of how he can use the ring to defend gondor, when aragorn is thinking of how it brought down proud isildur, when elrond is holding council and gandalf is thinking of how twisted he would become, if he ever daredâ)
but then thereâs frodo, who desires nothing except what he has already left behind him, and says, I will take the Ring.
it is an offer made out of absolute innocence, utter sincerity. It is made without knowing what it will make of himâand frodo loses everything to the ring, he loses peace and himself and the shire, he loses the ability to be in the world. Itâs cruel, the ring is cruel, it searches out every weakness you have and feeds on it, drinks you dry and fills you with its poison instead, the ring is so cruel.
and frodo picks it up willingly. for no other reason except that it has to be done.
(the ring warps boromir into a hopeless grasping dead thing, the power of the palantir turns denethor into an old man, jealous and suspicious, it bends even saruman, once the proudest of the istari, into a mechanised warlord, sitting in his fortress and bent over his perverse creationsâall the best of intentions, laid waste)
but thereâs a reason gollum exists in the narrative, which is to showâwell, to show what frodo might have been. because even as frodo grows mistrustful and wearied, as the burden of this ring grows heavier and heavier, he is never gollum. he is gentle to gollum. he is afraidâgod frodo is so afraid for 2/3 of these books he is so tired and afraid, but he keeps moving, he walks though it would pull him into the ground, because he asked for this, he said he would.
someone else could have carried the ring to mordor, I suppose. the idea of a martyr is not dependent on the particular flesh and blood person dying for some greater purpose. but such a thing has to be chosen, lifted onto your shoulders for the right reason, the truest reasons, and followed into the dark, though it would see you burnt through and bled out.
I will take the Ring, though I do not know the way.
y'know say what you want about tumblr (and I have), but this is still probably the simplest and most powerful distillation of the heart of the Lord of the Rings Iâve ever read. I think back to it all the time