... I dunno.

[Seducing You] I made pasta.

Girl dinner but it’s just your cock in my mouth

... I thought that was just what that phrase meant?

The vibe I bring to the function.

No you don’t understand. This is my best friend I met because we’re both really into torture

Men who take off your shoes, carefully peel your sheer tights to massage and kiss the arch of your foot before resting your legs on their shoulder and burying their face on your pussy vs. Men who toss you face down, ass up, and tear up a hole in your tights so they can eat you out from the back through it

Is this a blackjack table? Because you just doubled down.

Reader, I married her.

That anal sex didn't hurt at all (resentful)

It's sometime in the late 90s. I'm a teenager. I awake in a cold sweat, trying to remember the strange dream ... the White House had become a UFC venue ... and their website called journalists click-obsessed cuckolds ...

girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go like feathers falling from an angel's wings

But when I do it it just reminds people of houses where they have dogs.

I wonder what would happen if you tried to listen to every song mentioned in the notes.