Welcome to my hell :}

good lord this art can fight

First few attacks!

For SINBIOTIK, @draiama , SkepticalSkeptic, @honktraband01 , @lil-miss and @dooblez

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

(explanation for the non-German Speakers:

DO NOT THROW THEM BACK FOR FUCK’S SAKE. 

That’s an Asian Carp, and they ARE invasive. The Iowa DNR encourages people to catch, kill, and eat as many as possible. 

It does not have two eyes on the same side; it just has a mark there that looks sorta like one. 

Another pic;

They mostly eat plants, but sometimes will get snagged when line fishing. But, they also do THIS;

Midwesterners being who we are, we immediately knew what to do; BOWFISH THEM SHITS

And INVENT THE SPORT KNOWN AS ‘SCARPING’, which is just netting them out of the air/smacking them with baseball bats/spearing them with pitchforks/ect while waterskiing;

The DNR actively encourages all inventive ways of killing them off that people can come up with. There’s no limit on them, so you can fill up the boat. 

This is the sign I'm bringing to Pride UK this year!! It's also my shameless propaganda for the official Tumblr @sexy-people-contests-2026

Vote Jonathan Sims!! 👇👇👇