Yowch!!!

when a moot changes their pfp i feel like a baby whose dad shaved his beard

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

If T makes you gain weight and E and antidepressants do it too, and so does enjoying good food and not being hungry all the time, then perhaps maybe sometimes joy & weight gain come hand in hand and that's good

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are a accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

let’s talk about how they made it impossible to function without a phone and digitalised everything and then turned around and went “actually! these phone things aren’t safe for kids but it’s magically ok once you’re eighteen. guess you’ll have to have your life dictated by your parents now lol cause we’re gonna take the devices away from you. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING”

ok my apologies. take away my ability to buy anything too ig because these fuckass stores don’t accept cash anymore. take away my ability to communicate with people outside my house and school because I can’t text and I can’t email and I cant drive to them either and I can’t even fucking get public transport without a phone either. can’t order at a fucking restaurant without being asked to get a membership and install an app and also very sorry but you can only order through our online menu now! have you ever considered that it’s not just about instagram?

if everything is going to gradually become outrage marketing can we at least have some fun with it and do the movie remakes with all-women casts again

this summer delainey hayles and bailey bass play the narrator and tyler durden

*trying to pitch public transportation to Americans* it’s like a legal form of texting while driving

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

Alvin is a raging narcissist and Simon and Theo are held back from their musical potential because of misplaced fraternal loyalty. It is no secret in the industry that Theo's vocals and Simon's lyricism carry the group but Alvin's attention-seeking behavior was exploited by their agent

this is a DEEPLY unfair interpretation of their musical identity that valorizes public scrutiny teebeeache. There’s an urge towards overcorrection amongst critical voices that can identify the undervaluation of Theo and Simon as contributors and subsequently develop a narrative of antagonism between them and their frontman and to some extent that’s understandable, given how big his little shadow is. but the group has always been structured around performance and spectacle in a way that greatly benefits from the strong identity and stage presence granted by such a large personality

op is literally a thimon truther so I don’t think we should bother listening to what they say anyways :/

That is not even fucking true? I shared ONE Theo/OC fic in the Theo Chipmates Discord and the author happened to have also written Thimon WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE. I made this very clear (with receipts!) in the Google doc. This is yet another example of a transparent smear campaign against Alvin-critical fans. A patently hypocritical act, BTW, given that you guys are literally constantly shipping Alvincest

okay. how do I put this. if you approach interactions with strangers as if the vast majority of them are unbearable losers who aren't worth your time, you will find yourself not liking most of the people you meet because you'll be looking for any excuse to write them off as unbearable losers. I know this is hard to hear but sometimes the problem is you.

I’d die on the hill that “stranger danger” is a deeply unhelpful mentality to have. “Ooooh everyone is out to get me they’re all gonna perpetrate harm that’s actually more likely to come from someone I already know. I better never talk to anyone in my community who I don’t already know, just to be safe. I’m sure there are no other biases interwoven with this mentality” like oh my god human traffickers do not just randomly spawn in every parking lot. You don’t have to go solo hitchhiking across the country but you also don’t have to live in fear that every guy on the street is the knife man who’s gonna get you. Like have situational awareness, yeah. But most of the time the guy on the street is not knife man he’s actually just a guy on the street and he’s probably pretty chill, and you’re driving yourself crazy by living in a constant state of unnecessary fear.

transition timeline

winding up for a thunderous soviet slap on th ass

I've noticed in recent years that, at least within mainstream usamerican culture, the sympathetic petty criminal archetype has largely fallen out of favor. you still have plenty of stories of noble nights, benevolent aristocrats, sympathetic mercenaries, but the idea of a thief with a heart of gold is increasingly rare. often petty criminals are just used as uncomplicated cannon fodder, so the protagonist has something human-shaped that they can kill or mutilate without remorse. you see this with dnd players often. the wicked king or the cruel dragon can be reasoned with, but a highway bandit robbing caravans to eat is perfectly fine to torture to death with sorcery

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see