Wah suh dudes

Pairing: Slight Lindir x reader and Fili x reader in here. Send me your requests! Word count: 2404 (lmao its so long im sorry)                                                Summary; You just wanted a normal day for once but turns out you just can’t and end falling into middle earth and accompanying Thorin’s epic quest         Warnings: Swearing, oblivious!modern!reader                                                   A/N: Hey guys I promise this chapter is actually good unlike the last one lmao. Also there’s a little lindir x reader in here so be warned haha.

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Everything hurt, and when you said everything you meant everything. Even your arms hurt and you were given the lightest pack!

You wished the ponies hadn’t run away… Or you know, eaten.

It wasn’t your fault you had stumbled upon the trolls when you went to pee, they just sort of popped outta nowhere carrying away the company’s ponies. Your brain couldn’t even process what you saw and to top it all off after Kíli, Fíli, and Bilbo found you hiding near a fallen log, the princes forced you an Bilbo to go check them out. Some friends they were!

The trolls were probably the most ugly things you had the pleasure of gazing upon and you certainly did not want to ’check them out’ as Fíli put it. You weren’t a warrior or Bilbo’s size and so once the two of you stealthily padded over to where your captured ponies where, the one sharpening a knife, William, had spotted you.

Bilbo of course-that lucky bastard, escaped once Tom, the one with the cold, snatched you up by the ankle.

You really hated your life right then.

Though, just as the trolls decided to make you into a pie, your heroes, beards and all, came to your rescue. Yet, as brave as they were it didn’t go as planned and poor Bilbo almost had his limbs ripped off. And so, you were all shoved into burlap sacks while some of the dwarves were strapped onto a spit. You were included in that bunch lucky enough to roast on the fire and strapped on under Bofur’s stinky feet and above Dwalin’s tattooed head. You made sure your feet dug into his back each time he complained about your own smelly feet or how the fire singed his skin.

But, as always, Gandalf came to the rescue just as the sun rose and cracked the giant stone. Just like in Narnia! Anyways….

Now you had no ponies, and that meant you could feel the full wrath of your Converse shoes plus thin socks. Helllooooo blisters!

At first you didn’t think it was such a terrible idea to walk the rest of the way, like, Erebor couldn’t be that far away right? Also, the weather wasn’t terrible and although you hated walking, it was better than getting sore muscles from ridding a pony all day.

Boy, were you wrong.

The first bad thing to happen besides the trolls of course, was the strange other wizard with bird shit in his hair and screamed about evil and spiders and shit. The only good thing that came out of the chance encounter with Radagast the Brown was that Fíli and Kíli had the balls to actually apologize to you for forcing you to meet with the trolls. You gave them each a good punch to the stomach, not that it hurt them in anyway at all…Really, it hurt you instead to the point of your knuckles bruising.

Damn those dwarves! At least they gave you kisses upon your injured fist and a group hug that left you gasping for breath when they squeezed too hard.

At first you thought nothing about the howls that echoed around the forest but after a wolf, which most definitely was not a wolf, nearly killed poor Bofur, but your Hulk with tattoos whacked it over its head with his intimidating axe before it could do any harm.

And now you were running. That’s right, running while the Company and you bolted across the land covered in yellow grass to God knows where.

It was no secret that you weren’t the most athletic human being to ever live, but sometimes a girl gotta lift some weights every now and then. So in no way you were considered weak(at least for human standards) but running! You despised running.

Goddamnit, I knew I should of used the treadmill, you thought gloomily.

“(y/n)! Keep up!” Thorin barked, yanking you from your horrid thoughts of impeding doom.

“I could if I didn’t have short fuckin’ legs.” You hissed under your breath while picking up your pace.

You legs burned but the thought of being consumed by an angry pack of oversized dogs and strange mutated goblin things kept you going. That is, until you were surrounded by the snarling beasts.

Oh, what have you gotten yourself into?

“(y/n)!” Thorin shouted, snatching your arm to pull you out of the way as one of the wargs charged.

His blade easily sliced through its pelt and you winced as the beast fell. You sure hoped you’d never be on the receiving end of his blade…

“Stay behind me,” Thorin ordered, glancing behind his shoulder. “I intend to keep you alive.”

“Great.” You breathed, glancing behind you to see if there was another escape rout. There wasn’t anything but rock behind you. Or so you thought.

“This way, you fools!” The sudden voice of Gandalf ordered, his pointy hat popping out from the rock.

You didn’t hesitate in throwing yourself into the alcove of rock, desperate to escape the threat of a having your face ripped off. Try explaining that to your mother once you returned home.

The rest of the dwarves and Bilbo barreled in after you, some of them landing right on top of you. Namely Bombur.

For some reason the idea of getting squashed by a massive dwarf was better than being eaten in your mind. Maybe it was because Bombur gave you food. Yeah, that was it.

Anyhow, with a devious smirk from Gandalf and moody grumbles from the dwarves, you all piled into the narrow passageway that smelled like wet rock and moss. You tried you best not to trip over the stones that jutted out on the path, but it happened every so often anyways. Thankfully Fíli caught you each time.

“Careful, lass.” He chuckled, blue eyes twinkling. “Wouldn’t want ya to hurt yourself.”

“I’m surprised I haven’t yet.” You laughed. “Knowing my luck I’ll probably be sliced into pieces soon, or thrown off a cliff, or maybe eaten…”

You missed the flash of worry present on Fíli’s face, too occupied with trying to maneuver safely out of the crevice, or as you deemed it, a secret passage. You for one wanted to get out of the small space as quickly as possible.

And as if someone answered your prayers, the passage opened up to probably the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. You let out a gasp and wandered to the edge of the small cliff that led into the valley.

“The Valley of Imladris,” Gandalf spoke. “In the common tongue it is known by another name. Here lies the last Homely House East of the sea.”  

It was gorgeous and magical all at once from what you saw, with it’s ornate buildings built upon the various rivers and cascading falls. Already you could feel the spray of the waterfalls from up on the ledge, a bubble of excitement building inside you.

The rest of the dwarves seemed to be as mystified as you were but after a few angry words from Thorin in that harsh language of theirs, they were snapped out of the spell. You, not really giving two shits about what Thorin said, happily trotted along with Gandalf who led the line of dwarves down the pass and onto the beautifully carved bridges.

“Gandalf?” You said dreamily.

“Yes, dear one?”

“What is this place?”

“It is called Rivendell in the common tongue. The elves call it Imladris.” The wizard answered with a smile.

“Elves?”

Your second question was left unanswered as you crossed a final bridge and into a courtyard. Trees with shimmering green and golden leaves swayed around the circular area, the rushing river hugging the left side of it. You spun around and breathed in the sharp mountain air as it rustled your hair, the scent of lilacs lingering as an after taste. If magic had a smell this would be it.

Just as you did another spin to memorize the scenery, a man with long brown hair with a silver diadem placed upon his brow, gracefully descended down the steps towards the Company. He wore a purple robe, but as he got closer you realized the cloth wasn’t just purple; t was black and silver and gold, and the deepest shade of something similar to purple that you could not name. It truly was magic.

In your confusion to name the color of the mystery man’s robe, you also took note of his not-so-human like ears. They were pointy. When Gandalf mentioned elves your mind took the courtesy of imagining little tiny people with brightly colored clothes with golden bells and pointed shoes, not drop-dead gorgeous men with long flowing locks.

“Mithrandir.” The elf called.

“Ah! Lindir!” Gandalf greeted, placing his hand on his heart, the elf doing the same.

The rest of the conversation went right over your head as the two fell into some other kind of language you couldn’t hope to comprehend. It sounded nice though. Much more gentle and smooth compared to what the dwarves spoke, like comparing water to rock.

At least while they spoke you could dreamily stare at ‘Lindir’, as Gandalf called him. Unfortunately it didn’t last long since the sudden sound of a horn being blown echoed around the valley. An iron fist wrenched you away from Galdalf’s side and threw you into the center of a smelly dwarf circle along with Bilbo. The dwarves all bared their weapons as at least 50 horses surrounded them, towering over the party.

They were all so pretty even if the carried swords and spears.

You were too lost in your thoughts and overwhelmed by Rivendell and its inhabitants to notice that the Lord of Rivendell had welcomed you with open arms. Too overwhelmed it seemed that even as the company followed Lord Elrond up the stairs, you didn’t even notice.

“Excuse me, my lady.” A soft voice spoke as you leaned over the edge of the courtyard to peek at the running river.

You whipped around, you fascination now fixed on a certain elf who stood before you. He was even more impressive up close and seeing his near perfect self you realized you probably looked like utter shit. Dirt covered your clothes and shoes and you probably had mud streaked across your forehead along with a couple of bleeding scratches you hadn’t bothered to worry about. In all honesty you were surprised you were even allowed in here. Speaking of not being allowed in places…where did your friends go?

“Um…hi?” You stuttered, faltering under Lindir’s intense gaze.

“I do not mean to be insensitive, my lady, but you are not a dwarf.” He stated, his head tilting to the side. “Why would a human girl such as yourself be traveling with them?”

Why indeed, you thought bitterly, flashes of that night where you had fallen into Middle Earth spinning inside your head.

You shrugged and gave Lindir a wry smile. “Dunno, it wasn’t like I had much of a choice.”

Lindir’s puppy dog eyes widened. “You were kidnapped?”

“What? No!” You laughed, scratching the back of your head. “It’s just-it’s a long story and I’d probably bore you out of your mind if I told you. Plus you’d never believe me.”

Lindir gave you an empathetic smile and brushed a pale hand over your shoulder, the touch sending shivers through you. “Come, I will bring you to your friends, and if you wish you may tell me your tale while we walk.”

“Oh, o-okay..” You said, blushing a fiery red that put tomatoes to shame. “Your name is Lindir right?”

“Yes, my lady.” He said, folding his arms behind his back as you both climbed the marble steps.

“That’s a nice name.” You said without thinking. After processing what you did, you hurriedly blurted out something before Lindir realized what you said. “My name is (y/n), by the way. Not that you care or whatever. Just thought you should know since you keep calling me 'my lady’. I’m not a princess or anything…ha..ha..”

You swore at yourself for rambling. Goddammit (y/n), this is why people think you’re crazy!  

“(y/n).” He repeated as if testing to see how it sounded on his own tongue. You blushed again. “A lovely name for an equally lovely lady.”

You swore you just had a heart attack. This man- or rather elf, was a smooth talker and eye candy. Though, he was probably just being nice. I mean, you looked like a hobo and you were  a guest and all. You sighed.

Oh well, at least you could say you got complimented at least once by a hot guy even if it was just out of hospitality.

As Lindir escorted you through the swirling designs and patterns of Rivendell, you couldn’t help falling a little in love with the place. It was so peaceful and lovely here, much different from your journey here and the urban life back at home.

You rounded another corner and Lindir stopped in front of an ornate looking door. Flowers hung from the ceiling, framing the wood and you reached out to thumb a scarlet petal, marveling at the color.

“This is your room Lord Elrond has provided you, lady (y/n).” Lindir smiled, pearly white teeth flashing behind his lips. “A bath has been drawn and clothes are laid out for you if you decide to dine with Lord Elrond and your Company tonight.”

Your heart swelled at his kindness. “Thanks Lindir.”

He bowed his head in acknowledgement, his hand unclasping from behind his back to reach for your own. His soft hand held your forearm with a certain tenderness and swept down towards your wrist, his nimble fingers brushing against the fragile bone, then finally down to grasp your hand in his, knuckles faced up. Meeting your eye, he brought your hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss upon your bruised knuckles, much like how Fíli and Kíli did earlier that day.

“I hope to see you at dinner, (y/n).” Lindir murmered. “You still have not told me your tale, and I wish to hear it.”

“Alright.” You hummed sheepishly, your face matching the scarlet flowers that hung from the potted plants.

With one last smile, Lindir turned gracefully on his heel and disappeared down another corridor, his purple robes and his dark hair flowing behind him. You couldn’t help the dopey smile that lingered on your lips.

I’m doing a project for class where we have to convince the class why we should get the 28th off for a specific holiday instead of taking our final.

Holiday in question? Superhero Day.

Now, if you’d be so kind and reblog this if you’d rather celebrate superhero day instead of take your finals that’d be amazing~

Pairing: Slight!kilix modern!oblivious!reader in this one (fem reader btw) (shoot me a pairing!) Word count: 909 Lmao sorry its so short                                                        Summary; You just wanted a normal day for once but turns out you just can’t and end falling into middle earth and accompanying Thorin’s epic quest        

Other Parts in this story—> (1) (2) 

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It was freezing.

No, that had been an understatement. It was fucking cold, and all you had to protect yourself from the clutches of Jack Frost was a pathetic excuse of a blanket. Though, it was your fault you were a living snowman now. It was a spare one Gloín had somehow conjured up and with a great deal of reluctance he gave it to you after trying to swap it with his own newer, better one.

You regretted not taking up Bilbo’s offer when he insisted on sharing his thicker blanket with you now. You clenched your teeth as a shiver racked through your curled up form, a silent swear leaving your frozen lips.

This blows…

Your eyes flicked open and gazed longingly at Bilbo’s form across the camp. He looked warm and cozy. Maybe you could sneak over there? Nah, that was creepy and you’d rather freeze then have him freak out. You glanced at the dimming fire at the center of camp and an idea popped into your head. Of course, that meant you had to get up from your lovely position on the bumpy ground.

Stifling a groan, you managed to roll to your knees and shuffle close to the tiny flames, a few of your joints cracking as you moved. A smile crept onto your lips as thunderous snores echoed around the peaceful camp. Somehow it made you feel at home even if you had just met the boisterous dwarves and gentle Hobbit.

Your cold hands placed another minuscule log to feed the fire in hopes of regaining some feeling back to your fingertips. If there were more light you were positive they’d be blue. Oh well, if your fingers did fall off you could brag about it, much like the others did with their various scars and stories behind them. But loosing a finger to frostbite wasn’t exactly a story worth telling.

“(y/n)?”  

You jumped and toppled over, face landing in the soft earth. You groaned in frustration once you heard a light chuckle.

“I hate you.” You grumbled into the dirt.

Kíli scoffed and rolled his eyes before helping you up into a sitting position. The dark haired dwarf plopped down next to you and elbowed you playfully. “You love me.”

“Do not.” You hissed, biting your lip to keep the smile that threatened to form away. “I like worms more than you.”

“You wound me Ms. (y/n)!” Kíli cried softly, his hands placed over his heart in mock hurt. “I thought we were friends!”

“You wish.” You giggled.

“Mahal, you truly are wicked.”

You chuckled and elbowed him back before a violent shiver rushed through you from a chilly gust of wind. “Holy Balls, it’s cold.”

Kíli smirked and shuffled closer to you, close enough that you could feel his body heat through your blanket and tossed an arm around your shoulder. You couldn’t help but scoot closer under his arm in hopes of stealing some of that wonderful heat Kíli provided.

“You’re like a damn heater.” You mumbled partially to yourself, your numb fingers finding purchase on Kíli’s warm tunic.

“What’s a heater?”

“Um…it’s kinda like a portable fire?” You answered, forgetting  Kíli had no idea about the pleasures of modern technology. Poor dude…

“I wish we had one o’ those.” He said, grinning down at you.

“You and me both, Kee.”

Silence took over the conversation and as you stared into the flickering flames a horrible thought popped into your brain. Kíli must of noticed when your body tensed beside him, his warm chocolate orbs sending a questioning look.

“(y/n), are you alright?”

“W-what if I never get to go home, Kíli?”

Kíli’s brows furrowed slightly. He forgot you were from a world different from his own, you fit right in with all of them that he and the others barely noticed. He squeezed your shoulder and brought you closer to his side. You didn’t protest.

“Then you can live with us, dear (y/n).” He whispered, his goofy grin creeping over his lips. “I’m sure Thorin wouldn’t mind.”

You huffed and shrugged. “No offence, but I don’t think I made the best impression on your Uncle.”

You grimaced as flashbacks of the fateful day you told him he had a stick up his ass. You were surprised when Thorin didn’t drag you out into the forest that night and murder you executioner style. Though, there was still plenty of time for that…

“Bah,” Kíli said, waving off your words, “nonsense.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it, (y/n).” Kíli reassured. “If my Uncle refuses, I’ll smuggle you in!”

That did not sound like a good idea.

“I don’t-”

“Will the both of ye shut yer traps?” A certain bald dwarf interrupted. “Ye both talk plenty ‘nough in tha’ day.”

The both of you jumped in surprise and after the initial spook, you both erupted in quiet giggles at waking the Hulk.

After your fit of giggles you reluctantly peeled yourself away from your personal heater, placed a soft kiss on Kíli’s cheek and wandered over to Bilbo’s side, oblivious of the bright red blush that put Clifford the Big Red Dog’s fur to shame on Kíli’s cheeks.

“Night, Kee.” He heard you say after you left his side.

“You played me!”

“Like the cheap kazoo you are.”

Pairing: none yet! (fem reader btw) (but shoot me a pairing!) Word count: 1,242                                                                                            Summary; You just wanted a normal day for once but turns out you just can’t and end falling into middle earth and accompanying Thorin’s epic quest         Warnings: Swearing, awkward reader, modern!oblivious!reader   

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It was a dream-it had to be, or else it was a really shitty prank and you were having none of it.

“I’m dreaming, it must be a dream. Yeah, no way I’m actually here…sitting in the middle of fucking nowhere with dwarves… J-just a dream.” You whispered to yourself, your arms covering your head while you rocked back and forth. Maybe if you closed your eyes and just concentrated you’d wake up in your own bed with a hangover, the only explanation to this wild occurrence.

“If yer tryin’ to wish us away, it ‘ent workin’.” One of them commented.

Fuck me, you wailed internally.

You really did have the worst luck in the world. Only you would end up in a situation like this; thrown off a cliff, betrayed by your own foot, and teleported into an alternate reality of some sort with tiny men sporting excess amounts of hair and various sharp weapons. Although, nearly right after you fell into mild hysteria, the only normal sized person here who had a grey beard and pointy hat came to your rescue with a cup of tea and gentle reassurance. He called himself Gandalf and he patiently explained where you were and who the strange men around were.

Like that helped any.

And after having that slight panic attack, you seated yourself on the ground as the Company eyed you with pity. Thus leading us to the present time, where you still sat.      

“Oh, I really shouldn’t of poured beer on that tree!” You sobbed, earning a few confused stares.

“My dear,” Gandalf sighed, placing a gentle hand on your shaking shoulder. “I do not know how you fell into this world, no do I know how to return you to your own, but for your own sake you eventually must get up.”

“It’s better down here.”

Another collective sigh. Gandalf scoffed and shook his head, you were nearly as stubborn as a dwarf!

“Why-”

“Gandalf, let me speak with the girl.” A deep rumbling voice interjected what the old wizard was about to say. You could feel the power behind his words and how rich each syllable sounded, leading you to the notion that perhaps the speaker was somehow had ties to royalty or just really full of himself.

Heavy footsteps stomped over to your hunched figure, steel-tipped boots entering the slanted view through your crossed arms. You curled into yourself even more as he let out his own deep sigh and muttered something under his breath.

Just as you parted your lips to threaten the dwarf into leaving you alone, a rough hand snatched your arm and yanked you from the ground with enough force to eject you into the sun, most likely. “Get up.”

You squeaked in surprise and nearly toppled face first into the dwarf, but his firm grip on your arm steadied you. You readied a poisonous glare just for him, but it died away and you though better of it after seeing his own cold scowl that rivaled your own. You were taken aback after putting the tone of his voice to a face and just like his words, he was powerful and rich in features.

“That wasn’t speaking,” you grumbled after a slight pause. “that was manhandling.”

The left end of his darkly bearded lips twitched ever so slightly in response to your sass, and he quirked a dark brow. “I saw no other option.”

With that he released your arm and spun on his heel, midnight locks streaked with silver flowing behind him. “Dwalin, keep an eye on her.”

Gandalf tutted in reply and waved an arm over your shoulders, wheeling you away before the even scarier dwarf with geometric tattoos and muscles for days could keep you tethered to his side.

As Gandalf led you to God-knows-where, you surveyed your surroundings and couldn’t help but admire the surrounding scenery of rolling green hills, distant forests, and brooding mountains far to the east. Even if you were here against your will, it sure beat any scenery back at home you thought impressive. But it still didn’t make up for the sharp pang of home sickness…

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It turned out your unexpected arrival delayed whatever it was the group of dwarves, a wizard, and an even smaller creature with bare hairy feet that puzzled you greatly, were doing and so, sooner than you liked, you were hoisted onto a pony without your consent. Not like they cared of course…

The first few days they were skeptical of you tagging along(not that you wanted to), especially Thorin who you assumed to be the leader of them, but a few stern words from a meddling wizard changed his mind. But who could blame them? You pretty much fell from the sky and landed smack-dab in the middle of their camp without warning. Who wouldn’t be suspicious?

At least the strange little creature seemed to take an instant liking towards you and shared his sympathies. And after a few attempts of trying to engaging you in conversation you learned his name; Bilbo Baggins, a Hobbit from the Shire. You didn’t know what a hobbit was or why he was abnormally short with hairy feet, but you found him quite adorable and his odd mannerisms piqued you interest. He even offered to share his blanket with you!

You soon learned during the long hours of endless traveling that the Company was on a quest of sorts to reclaim a mountain lost to an over sized lizard with wings. Bilbo and some other members of the company thought your snide comment about Smaug was funny, Thorin did not and you succeeded in creating an even more horrid situation for yourself. Oh well.

Then there was the princes, Fíli and Kíli, whom you almost immediately became fast friends with after sharing ideas on how to properly prank a person. Not to mention your biting remarks that Fíli and Kíli found absolutely marvelous. Their particular favorite sassy remark being the one where you might of accidentally told their Uncle he had a stick up his ass in front of the whole Company. Oops.

And how could you forget about Bofur and Ori? Your first night with the Company, after easing back into your own skin after the traumatizing experience of falling into another world, you cracked a bawdy joke to ease some of the tension you had caused and Bofur eagerly responded with an even filthier one. A start of a beautiful friendship you liked to think.

Ori was shy and you all but adored him. He even gave you his extra change of clothing(you had never seen anyone blush as red as he did in that moment) and sheepishly showed you some of his drawings on the third night.

In the short time you had been here you began to grow fond of the Company, even Mr. Thorin Grumpypants and his dutiful sidekick, the miniature Hulk minus the green skin and a whole lot more tattoos than the actual Hulk. Though, even the two in mention, begrudgingly realized that you had grown on them, even if you were a bit odd and swore like a sailor.

You momentarily forgot about your life in the modern world, but you were reminded each time you felt yourself subconsciously reach for your phone to check your social media and your Snap Streaks.

Wait…If you were here and your phone was sitting on your bedside table in another dimension that meant-

you’re trying to impress, you’re trying your very best to get someone to read this work you’ve created and how you present it is fucking important, ayight?? it’s like having a first date, you can’t just roll out of bed after three months without showering and be like “sup fam, suck on my tongue”

you have to look minimally presentable for people to want to metaphorically suck on your tongue, ayight kids?

so, get a nice title, something that ppl wanna whisper, something nice and related to the content ayight? it can be one word, it can be any word. that’s your calling card kid, that’s the piece of paper you slide over the table with your phone number. good titles can go a long way

and if titles are your name, the phone number is the tags and for god’s suck use the tags. how do you want people to find the unique things you bring to the table if you don’t put them in the database for them to search by name??? how will all those potential people you’re trying to win over find you without some proper tags, huh? they ain’t fam. tag yo shit

and while you’re at it, don’t talk down on yourself, don’t you dare talk down on yourself. you’re beautiful and ethereal and everything you do matters, and everything you do works to make you even more beautiful. “i suck at summaries lol xD give this a try tho”. fam no. don’t do that shit. it’s unnatractive. that’s like being greeted by your date with a “rawr that means i love you in dinossaur lol xD im so random how many kids do you wanna have also my family are all extremists come see our gun collection”

ppl are gonna run away from that. fast. you’re good. what you do matters, OWN IT. seduce your date with a beautiful summary, whatever you like, using any technique you like, just have a good summary ayight? that’s your bait, that’s what you use to reel them in as the beautiful siren you are just before you drown them in your amazing content and eat their hearts. 

and if you don’t think you’re shit and are insecure about posting, then boi u better fake it ‘till u make it, my guy. i can assure you, you’re worth more than you could ever dream.

now that u got em reeled in, now that you got them to click the link and ask for a second date, for mcfuck’s sake correctly format your fic, use some goddamned paragraphs spacing. i want to see beautiful flowing lines of text, not a slaughtered ant colony that faintly resembles a wall of text. and dont forget theres a special place in hell for people who align center their text.

so.

Pairing: none yet! Word count: 1146                                                                                               Summary; You just wanted a normal day for once but turns out you just can’t and end falling into middle earth and accompanying Thorin’s epic quest          Warnings: Swearing                                                                                            A/N: Hey guys this is my first fanfic on here and I’m planning on making this a series I guess! I hope you like it, suggestions and requests are open too!

It really was just your luck to end up in the situation you were in now. All you wanted on this fateful day was a break from the endless piles of paper given to you from your professors and a cup of coffee. But no, ohhhh no, you just had to take an accidental dive down the stairs, drop your laptop into a muddy puddle and suffer from possible brain trauma caused by a certain professor of yours.

It really wasn’t his fault, you just had a bad habit of standing in the wrong place at the right time, and when he threw the football across the room to another student, well…It just so happened to collide with your temple.

And speaking of the situation you currently were in now, it involved a ridiculous amount of alcohol, shitty friends, and low spirits. You wanted to be in bed, safe and warm, not here in some stupid forest with a bunch of drunk students you barely knew.

Your so called “friend” who brought you here in the first place had disappeared a little over an hour ago and you suspected she had forgotten about you and left you stranded. Of course, the walk back to your dorm was only two miles away, but the forest was unfamiliar and dark. You’d rather be in a heated car than walk alone in a creepy old forest if you were being completely honest.

Yet, the world decided to dish out more bad luck today and gave you the opportunity to possibly get murdered by a psycho killer waiting in the woods for someone to walk by. And with your kind of luck, you’d be their victim. But what other choice did you have?

You sighed and grumbled under your breath and poured the rest of your beverage over gnarled tree roots and maneuvered towards the dirt path that led to town. You hoped dumping beer on a tree wasn’t considered littering…

Pulling your phone’s flashlight out after leaving the glare of strung up lanterns and headlights from cars, you focused on not tripping over your feet like you did this morning. At least if you did trip no one would see you this time. Though, it would still suck to land in the dirt and rip a hole in your leggings or shirt. Your occurring clumsiness probably increased your chances of tripping and impaling yourself on a stick or perhaps falling off a cliff anyways, so you weren’t too hopeful.

So, with thoughts of impeding doom and your eyes on the lookout for any roots or rocks that could of caught your foot, you continued on the pathway to civilization and safety. That is, until you picked your head up and realized you hadn’t been following the trail at all.

“Oh fuck me,” you growled, wildly spinning around. Your flashlight illuminated patches of the dark woods and cast shadows that vaguely reminded you of deformed creatures lurking in the trees.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” You hissed as an afterthought. Here you were lost in the woods, swearing like a sailor with no way out. Of course something like this would happen to you.  

An overwhelming wave of panic surged over you after spinning around in circles and doing nothing but curse and try remembering which way you had come before this happened. You took a deep breath, attempting to calm your fraying nerves and paused before a patch of the brooding forest. It really couldn’t get any worse than this.

You bit your lip, took a deep breath, and shuffled through the undergrowth praying to whatever god was out there you could somehow manage to find the path again and that this was the right direction.

It wasn’t, and you quickly found that out right after your foot caught on a twisting root and sent you sailing down the side of a hill you never knew existed until now. You cried out in shock and pain as sharp rocks and dirt scratched your skin as you fell.

I shouldn’t of poured beer on that poor tree was the last thing you thought before being enveloped into total darkness.

*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*

“Is she dead?”

“‘Course not ye fool! Tha’ lass is still breathin’!

“Aye, last time I checked corpses don’t breath.”

“Do you think she’s alright?”

“Where on Earth did the lass come from?”

Unfamiliar voices crowded around you when you drifted back into consciousness, unaware of where you were, what time it was, or how you got out of the forest. You groaned as the various tones of buzzing voices became louder and you became more aware of the pounding headache present behind your eyes and the throbbing pain on your scalp.

“Shush! She’s wakin’ up.”

You groaned again and placed a hand over your throbbing head before opening your eyes. Blurred faces gazed down at you with curious eyes and you had to blink a couple of times before registering what the actual fuck was going on. Last night you were lost in a forest and now you were circled by a ban of funny looking men with a whole lot of hair.

Your first instinct was to scream and the run and then maybe cry a little bit from the shock of falling down a hill and landing in who knows where, but the only thing you did was squeak in fear.

“Och, give ‘er some room, lads!” An older looking man chided, his hand gripping a strange trumpet-like item as he shoved away some of your audience. Though, the longer you were sprawled out upon the ground, the longer you realized how short these men actually were. You were one to talk though, you had always been on the short side but seeing full grown men who were as tall as you were was a sight to behold.

“Why are you all so short…?”

You really hadn’t meant for it slip out, but a combination of your confusion and your throbbing head let it pass through your lips. A few guffaws and shaking heads made you groan inwardly at your stupidity.

Way to make a great first impression, (y/n)…

“Have ye never seen a dwarf?” One of them asked, a floppy hat resting atop his head.

“Dwarf?” You repeated, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?”

“Who’s that?” Another asked. “And why do they have seven dwarves with them?”

A murmur of agreement swept through the group and left you in an even deeper state of confusion. Who didn’t know who Snow White was? The grey haired  so called ‘dwarf’ with the strange trumpet thing must of noticed your puzzlement and bent down on one knee to help lift you into a sitting position.

“What’s your name, girl?”

Pairing: none yet! Word count: 1146                                                                                               Summary; You just wanted a normal day for once but turns out you just can’t and end falling into middle earth and accompanying Thorin’s epic quest          Warnings: Swearing                                                                                            A/N: Hey guys this is my first fanfic on here and I’m planning on making this a series I guess! I hope you like it, suggestions and requests are open too!

It really was just your luck to end up in the situation you were in now. All you wanted on this fateful day was a break from the endless piles of paper given to you from your professors and a cup of coffee. But no, ohhhh no, you just had to take an accidental dive down the stairs, drop your laptop into a muddy puddle and suffer from possible brain trauma caused by a certain professor of yours.

It really wasn’t his fault, you just had a bad habit of standing in the wrong place at the right time, and when he threw the football across the room to another student, well…It just so happened to collide with your temple.

And speaking of the situation you currently were in now, it involved a ridiculous amount of alcohol, shitty friends, and low spirits. You wanted to be in bed, safe and warm, not here in some stupid forest with a bunch of drunk students you barely knew.

Your so called “friend” who brought you here in the first place had disappeared a little over an hour ago and you suspected she had forgotten about you and left you stranded. Of course, the walk back to your dorm was only two miles away, but the forest was unfamiliar and dark. You’d rather be in a heated car than walk alone in a creepy old forest if you were being completely honest.

Yet, the world decided to dish out more bad luck today and gave you the opportunity to possibly get murdered by a psycho killer waiting in the woods for someone to walk by. And with your kind of luck, you’d be their victim. But what other choice did you have?

You sighed and grumbled under your breath and poured the rest of your beverage over gnarled tree roots and maneuvered towards the dirt path that led to town. You hoped dumping beer on a tree wasn’t considered littering…

Pulling your phone’s flashlight out after leaving the glare of strung up lanterns and headlights from cars, you focused on not tripping over your feet like you did this morning. At least if you did trip no one would see you this time. Though, it would still suck to land in the dirt and rip a hole in your leggings or shirt. Your occurring clumsiness probably increased your chances of tripping and impaling yourself on a stick or perhaps falling off a cliff anyways, so you weren’t too hopeful.

So, with thoughts of impeding doom and your eyes on the lookout for any roots or rocks that could of caught your foot, you continued on the pathway to civilization and safety. That is, until you picked your head up and realized you hadn’t been following the trail at all.

“Oh fuck me,” you growled, wildly spinning around. Your flashlight illuminated patches of the dark woods and cast shadows that vaguely reminded you of deformed creatures lurking in the trees.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” You hissed as an afterthought. Here you were lost in the woods, swearing like a sailor with no way out. Of course something like this would happen to you.  

An overwhelming wave of panic surged over you after spinning around in circles and doing nothing but curse and try remembering which way you had come before this happened. You took a deep breath, attempting to calm your fraying nerves and paused before a patch of the brooding forest. It really couldn’t get any worse than this.

You bit your lip, took a deep breath, and shuffled through the undergrowth praying to whatever god was out there you could somehow manage to find the path again and that this was the right direction.

It wasn’t, and you quickly found that out right after your foot caught on a twisting root and sent you sailing down the side of a hill you never knew existed until now. You cried out in shock and pain as sharp rocks and dirt scratched your skin as you fell.

I shouldn’t of poured beer on that poor tree was the last thing you thought before being enveloped into total darkness.

*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*

“Is she dead?”

“‘Course not ye fool! Tha’ lass is still breathin’!

"Aye, last time I checked corpses don’t breath.”

“Do you think she’s alright?”

“Where on Earth did the lass come from?”

Unfamiliar voices crowded around you when you drifted back into consciousness, unaware of where you were, what time it was, or how you got out of the forest. You groaned as the various tones of buzzing voices became louder and you became more aware of the pounding headache present behind your eyes and the throbbing pain on your scalp.

“Shush! She’s wakin’ up.”

You groaned again and placed a hand over your throbbing head before opening your eyes. Blurred faces gazed down at you with curious eyes and you had to blink a couple of times before registering what the actual fuck was going on. Last night you were lost in a forest and now you were circled by a ban of funny looking men with a whole lot of hair.

Your first instinct was to scream and the run and then maybe cry a little bit from the shock of falling down a hill and landing in who knows where, but the only thing you did was squeak in fear.

“Och, give 'er some room, lads!” An older looking man chided, his hand gripping a strange trumpet-like item as he shoved away some of your audience. Though, the longer you were sprawled out upon the ground, the longer you realized how short these men actually were. You were one to talk though, you had always been on the short side but seeing full grown men who were as tall as you were was a sight to behold.

“Why are you all so short…?”

You really hadn’t meant for it slip out, but a combination of your confusion and your throbbing head let it pass through your lips. A few guffaws and shaking heads made you groan inwardly at your stupidity.

Way to make a great first impression, (y/n)…

“Have ye never seen a dwarf?” One of them asked, a floppy hat resting atop his head.

“Dwarf?” You repeated, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “Like Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs?”

“Who’s that?” Another asked. “And why do they have seven dwarves with them?”

A murmur of agreement swept through the group and left you in an even deeper state of confusion. Who didn’t know who Snow White was? The grey haired  so called 'dwarf’ with the strange trumpet thing must of noticed your puzzlement and bent down on one knee to help lift you into a sitting position.

“What’s your name, girl?”

X X

Requests are always open!

“So…” 

All eyes turned to you, shining from the reflection the blazing fire, left to be the only source of light as the sun had travelled down the sky and left a spooky darkness behind.