leave your stupid comments in your pocket

It’s so funny to me that soccer games can end with a score of 0-0 like imagine going to see a soccer game and both teams just run around the field for 90 minutes doing absolutely nothing and nobody scores any points and at the end of the 90 minutes they’re like well. Guess that’s that. Great soccer game guys.

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

Can we stop with the character development. Where's my beach episode.

*Touches you with my posting tendril*

We Are the Daughters of the Microbes Who Could Survive in an Oxygen-rich Atmosphere

i know every phone number

do you know who they all belong to?

everyone that has phones

what's mine

hole in the ground for extracting minerals

can you tell me what my phone number is?

i can basically do whatever i want

i love when a fan wiki includes a "nicknames" section in their little character boxes and it's just everything a character has been referred to as that isn't their name so like one character will dismissively call another "hat boy" once and now it's on the wiki. thats his nickname.

I think that when you're overstimulated you should appear kind of grayed out and no one should be able to interact with you like a locked character in a video game

so i put my hands up theyre playing my song the evil skull flies away

i don't care if i flop. bunnies do that

had a meeting at work yesterday with a guy i didn’t know and he said the phrase, “feed two birds with one scone”, which i thought indicated a conscientious and generous spirit

you have a disgusting storytelling addiction

It’s true. It goes back a long way, too. It all started when…