The book is lying open

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

welcome to my farm where I keep my dark horse my black sheep my scapegoat and my underdog. my canary in the coal mine died ages ago

It’s a mess here: someone looked your gift dark horse in the mouth, led it to water, and jumped back on it. Your ducks aren’t in a row, someone counted the chickens before they hatched. Your geese are silly, your brown cows aren’t explaining how, and every one of these sheep is a wolf but they don’t even notice with the amount of wool over their eyes. I’m fining you one million gold coins.

it was the goat blame the goat

I've seen 3 of the 4 john wick movies and I love how all the dialogue is like. A dude will go like "Is that you John Wick?" And John Wick will go "Yeah..." and the guy will go "You doing some John Wicking tonight?" And John Wick will go "Something Like That..." And the dude will go "Shame it had to be this way" and John Wick will go "I'm Sorry..." and then John Wick caves the dude's head in with a giant wooden mallet. And it rules.

The rest of the dialogue is just outtakes from the Vampire the Masquerade player's manual

Not now, kitten, m- da- m- your parental figure is in the middle of a gender crisis