I Belong To The Future

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

One time we was doing the Medieval faire a little bit after the Witcher tv show got started and everybody brought a bunch of like plastic pirate coins and hanukkah gelt and shit like that cause we assumed a bunch of patrons would be dressed up as witchers but there were like . . . 2 of them. A buddy of mine tried to throw one of em a coin and he was like "That better not be another fucking coin"

I couldn't even bring myself to ask him for a picture; he looked so sad to be so loved.

The whole "Elvis sighting" thing is hilarious because, like, the first documented career Elvis impersonators began working over twenty years before the guy even died. I wonder why a public figure who has a whole industry of people who look and sound like him would generate an unusual number of posthumous sightings? It Is A Mystery.

planetariums, art museums, aquariums, science museums my beloved

Hehehehehe

Can I fucking help you?

my senior english teacher told me that any scene with a woman in a cornfield in every piece of literature ever is about her journey to womanhood/pleasuring herself in the field and i just.... believed her

What

What

The really funny part is that many modern sources that want to gas up Sparta will bring up this specific anecdote, but stop at the "if" and just not mention what happened immediately afterwards.

similarly, "μολὼν λαβέ" (come and take them) is a really cool thing to say, made significantly less cool by having them taken

How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy who’s job it is to destroy plastic

i love you rice with some bullshit

Sorry, but the whole “Hector is wearing Achilles’ own armor, taken from my corpse. It looks, almost, as if Achilles is chasing himself.” part just has me thinking… Who is Achilles truly hunting down on that battlefield? The man who killed Patroclus, or the man who let Patroclus walk into his demise? Who is Achilles trying to punish? Who is he truly trying to kill? Hector or himself?