fuck it up

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I've been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN THE OCEAN PUT HOLY WATER IN TH

“Hello and welcome to my Tumblr. Here you probably won’t find any basic info about me like my name or what I usually like to do, but you absolutely will find all my deepest darkest secrets and emotions along with my body measurements”

the wise man at the nudist beach, when discovered by an acquaintance, covers not his dick but his face

i feel like diogenes fucking ghostwrote that last bit

the fake fbi twitter account is more entertaining than the real one

@tamarinfrog

@frogsuggest

@mitzusart

Imagine being a side character in the freaky Friday reboot and not even knowing it

this is the only funny thing anyone has added to this fucking post

There’s so much wrong here

“sorry for being a gentlemen” i cannot fucking believe

UPDATE: Im screaming even louder