ceo of having a long ass queue

we make fun of americans and their burgers but a good burger at the right moment really will return your will to live, is the thing

Ernest Goes to Hell

no sorry i dont really use instagram, i can contact you via ouija board, spirit box, fluctuations in temperature, flickering lights, and certain rituals. i am also on tumblr.

I used to set this one for second year undergraduate creative writing seminars on writing science fiction on a double bill with Octavia E. Butler's "Bloodchild" and no-one here gets out alive.

I paused the robot vacuum so I could listen to this 1950’s story predicting the robot vacuum.

People do not see masculinity as being as fluid and complex and nuanced as femininity and it’s annoying as hell. Because of patriarchy’s stranglehold on masculinity and radfem theory’s stranglehold on queer spaces, people really think with their whole heart that only femininity is subversive or experimental, or frankly, queer, and that masculinity is only a power grab and nothing more. Embarrassing!

bless our trroops

OK so i did poison the Secret Grove of the Elves

i was telling my roommate about how the first girl i ever had a crush on in high school was really into homestuck, which made me read all of it to impress her. and how, even though we never became more than acquaintances, reading homestuck caused a ripple effect that changed the trajectory of my life forever. and my roommate. my roommate just looks at me and goes “revolver ocelot behavior.” how the fuck do i recover from this

MGS Heritage Post (sorry)

no i am not immune to early 2000s pop-punk music that fucks a little harder than everyone likes to admit

you need to read a book you're just slightly too stupid for at least once every three months because its good for you and your health

it would suck so bad to get deceived