Hi!

THIS! IS! WILD!!!!!!!!!!

in my most recent, i try to make meaning of all the palestinian flags i saw at pride.

FORTUNATELY, i have experience with this sort of thing. the long and boring thing.

the synagogue i grew up in, and the type of jewish community i grew up in, prepared me for any long and boring service i will encounter in my life. i was thinking about it, and i think the flavor of jewish with which i grew up has the longest services out of all of them.

i grew up conservative. the orthodox have stricter rules and observance, but they are VERY efficient when it comes to services. in my experience, they absolutely blast through that shit. the reform just do less stuff. and the reconstructionists? they can probably rival conservative services in terms of length. a lot of the liturgy is similar. but the conservative services would still win.

growing up, my friends and i used to have a competition to see who could most accurately guess the exact time services would end on saturday morning. we'd each put in our guesses and then watch the clock. this is how we would entertain ourselves, and i think that tells you all you need to know.

i found out how much i weigh today. i haven't found out in at least 3 years, maybe 4. since i was thin.

it was a random medical assistant at the PODIATRIST of all places who told me the weight they have on file for me very unceremoniously.

i'm feeling alright. the time was going to come at some point. but i wanted to be in control of when it happened.

so i am mad at this lady. honestly fuck her.

i know how much i weigh. on the one hand it is useful, and on the other hand i wish i did not know.

it does not change anything, but now there is a number attached to my body size/shape.

there is a small part of me that is panicking, like "OMG I HAVE TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT AND GET BACK TO THE WEIGHT I WAS BEFORE," but i know the healthiest thing is just to accept it and move on. i'm doing what i need to do to take care of myself, and apparently my body really likes being this size.

HUH????????????? I'M SORRY??????

i'm 100% sure i make less money than her, and i have health insurance!!! it is a priority. i use it a lot.

i know i have massachusetts privilege, but... wtf!!! she has a full caseload! build it into your pricing, and get health insurance, lady!!!

what the fuck????!?!?

also i don't know what her expenses are but i do expect this line of work to be lucrative enough for me to live the life i want.

also also i don't work over the weekend. and i intend to keep it this way. the thought disgusts me. i don't even like having meetings on friday. i try to keep it meeting free. what student wants to meet with their college counselor after school on a friday??? eew!

there may come a point where i need to work on the weekends but i will try mightily to avoid it.

eight phone calls to get this one appointment!!!

i feel like this is pathological??? i keep on seeking out people who are similar to my mother, who i have a tumultuous relationship with??

if you want to schedule a meeting with someone, and you initiated it, so you want the meeting more than they do, NEVER give them your scheduling link and expect them to use it. they will not. either get their scheduling link or email back and forth until you have a time.