Hi!

but i have never listened to a single album of theirs all the way through. not only that, but i actually don't think i've ever listened to two of their songs consecutively one after the other.

i think they're really good global kpop ambassadors. but as a kpop fan who knows her options, bts is never gonna be the group i choose.

have they ever thought about... NOT DOING THAT?????

and as the audience, lemme get this straight: i have to sit through all these fouls before i even get to see a single goal?

it wasn't a terribly frustrating meeting, but i just wanted things to come together a bit more smoothly, i guess. but it's a process.

i just wanted to take a moment to appreciate that this kid said during our meeting today that this essay is going to be the best thing he's ever written.

i did... ok in the meeting. not my best, and not my worst. i feel like i was a bit goofy. i think i am starting to lose my mind a little bit.

i need to take a couple of days and not talk to any strangers about my business. it really takes a toll!!

the hustle is such a weird, uncomfortable mindset. always feeling like i have something to prove, something i need to convince people of, and knowing they have power over my livelihood. put simply, it sucks.

it's not great! i hope to get to the point where i have actual relationships with these people and can relax and just be myself. but i am not there yet.

i'll believe it when i see it, but i am cautiously optimistic.

at this point i am a woman who has heard no one too many times, and i am prepared to beg and/or pay money to hear yes. that is the vibe. i need a fucking break here.

i'm going to pay $20 to remove lockscreen ads so i can have the cover of the book i'm currently reading as my lockscreen, bringing the price closer to the kobo anyway...

but there is one piece of my marketing strategy that i haven't figured out yet, and it is driving me crazy. i feel like i'm so close to succeeding, but if i don't get this one piece of the jenga tower, it all falls down. i cannot succeed without this piece. and i cannot figure out how to get it to work.

it is maddening.

but i am also aware of the fact that i do have part of my marketing strategy that IS working. and it took me years to figure it out. i just NEED the other part as well. both of them work together. long term, one cannot work without the other.

i reached out to my contact at the small business development center who I haven’t spoken to in three years. hopefully she’ll listen to exactly what i'm struggling with and help me make this work. i really need help. 😫

98% of the time, i feel like all of this writing is stupid and a waste of time because nobody reads it, and it is therefore ineffective at marketing. but 2% of the time, i look at my body of work and feel proud.

perhaps SOMEONE at some point will come across this body of work and be like "wow, i want to hire this woman for college counseling, which is barely what she writes about."

i mostly write about culture and politics. all of it RELATES to what i do, but i never write, like, "here are some tips for filling out the common app," lol. i'm a giant picture kind of gal.

in grad school i went to my advisor and asked if i could take a postcolonial feminist film theory class as an elective in my m.ed. degree. my justification was like "it's about society and in teaching you also encounter society in your classroom. like all the dynamics that are out there in the world also show up in your classroom." and she was like "yeah, right on," and i took the class.