“your arms, my home, my breath, my god.”

realm of the elderlings fandom posts rule bc people will read the beginning of assassin's apprentice n post "here is a drawing of sweet baby fitz and nosy :)" and then a year later they are scarred for life. im sorry to tell you but no fitz will never figure out even one single thing the more obvious it is the less he is getting it. yes yes the foreshadowing, no im sorry it means absolutely nothing to him for the rest of his life all because he was dragged to buckkeep castle at six years old and his father left before they could meet.

good fucking lord imagine you are a child prophet being tormented by visions and you find the guy YOUR guy who will be the impetus for all of your prophetic visions and dreams and you are aware of all the ways he could die in the process of you ensuring time wheels on the way it should and then you grow up with him and you FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM and he feels something for you too but because of the ways in which the world has treated him, some of which you are directly responsible for, he is unable to fully understand or act on his love and his feelings and one of his major fatal flaws is that he is unable to let himself be known and loved entirely so you are caught in this push pull of love and desire and reticence and yearning and life and death with him for EVER. and this happened to my good friend the fool.

fitz is thee unreliable narrator ever he’s so fucking funny like his logic clearly makes perfect sense to him bc he is Very Intelligent Very Well Trained and sometimes he’ll make an observation that’s almost normal and you get baited into thinking omg he’s making a genuine self-actualising realisation and then he follows it up with the most batshit irrational repressed self-hating sentence you’ve ever read. this repeats for 9 books and the whole time you’re thinking Stupid Idiot Please Learn Surely You Cannot Go On Like This while fitz is like this is my unbiased factual autobiography and now you understand why i am awful. you must also have witnessed how normal and platonic i am about my close male friend the fool

The actual fucking PROBLEM like the SICKEST PART of every single way Beloved acts and thinks and talks about Fitz from Ship of Magic through the quarrel is that they're doing that because they KNOW Fitz loves them. Because they LOOKED INTO HIS SOUL and SAW and FELT that he loved them the way they loved him. They spent all of AQ flirting with him (bc he was their FIRST CRUSH and CHILDHOOD LOVE btw) and assumed that Fitz was humoring them or pitied them when he claimed to care for them and then SAW WITH THEIR FUCKING EYES that their ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL LOVE for him was RETURNED. And then they KISSED HIM GOODBYE. So when Amber is blushing about her one true love giving her the earring and carving Fitz's face into Paragon and when the Fool is clinging to Fitz "like a woman" and playing domestic in his house for way longer than he intended to and Lord Golden is proudly pinning the flowers he thinks Fitz is making a point of giving him to his FUCKING chest EVERY day and when up to the very first sentences of Fitz picking a fight with him he's asserting that they both know what they are and they both know what they feel for each other and is literally operating on the assumption that those are the exact same thing it is because THEY HAVE SEEN THEIR LOVE FOR FITZ MIRRORED BACK AT THEM IN EQUAL MEASURE THROUGH HIS FUCKING HEART AND SOUL. And they KNOW that it is there. And EVERYTHING THEY HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM for OVER FIFTEEN of SA'S OWN YEARS has been colored by the knowledge that Fitz reciprocates their feelings. AND THEN FITZ INSISTS HE DOESN'T AND THAT THEY'RE IN THE WRONG FOR THINKING HE DOES. OKAY. OKAY