simon won the argument

Bill Nighy

Hugh Laurie

James McAvoy

John Lithgow

Katherine Parkinson

Keira Knightley

Kit Harrington

Leo Woodall

Mackenzie Crook

Mathew MacFadyen

Matt Berry

Nick Frost

Paul Whitehouse

Peter Serafinowicz

Riz Ahmed

Shirley Bassey

Simon Armitage

Simon Pegg

Stephen Fry

Stephen Mangan

gingerbread shapeshifting is a hereditary male-only curse

you shapeshift into a giant gingerbread man during Big Emotions (and also over Christmas I think?)

it kicks in during puberty

to defeat the curse you must transform in front of someone you love and have them accept you for who you are (big sentient gingerbread man)

gingerbread shapeshifters live in fear that this opens themselves up to their loved one running away screaming in fear or alternatively, y'know, eating the giant gingerbread man who suddenly appears before them

this needs to happen before your 30s (roughly) otherwise you remain in gingerbread man shape permanently

and then you get shipped off to the Black Forest to defend said forest and be constantly hunted down by people trying to steal gingerbread magic

the Black Forest is also where gingerbread shifters originate from btw

if you're a woman in this family line, you don't shapeshift but you also need to find a mate by a deadline

you can do this by just giving someone a cookie you've baked yourself

also this

I know I need to eat, because my body needs the sugar. The transition isn't just in my bones or muscles. In my true form, my gingerbread form—my blood is 99.9% nectar.

Once mom described it as molasses, and I've never been able to look at syrup again without thinking of other gingerbreads, so I refer to it as 'nectar.' Blood seems weird, because the idea that a giant cookie monster has blood just seems macabre and morbid, but it's the truth.

My body will stockpile the carbs and sugar, and I'll start to pack on some weight, but not in the way you'd think. Eating sugar has the same effect on me as a healthy diet does for gym rats. It builds muscle for me. My frame will get bigger—thicker.

Trying to shift when you're not in the right frame can be debilitating. I've heard stories about those who weren't properly nourished before shifting. Bones break, muscles tear, and in some cases it can even kill a gingerbread if they aren't strong or old enough.