Re-standardized self-image
I find myself in a strange (and perhaps overdue) transition period.
The only beauty-related thing that would fuck with me while I was growing up was weight (unsurprising) - i was a curvy Mexican girl and it took a lot of sports to at least be lean. When it came to makeup, hair, skin-related stuff, I legitimately didn't care. Not that I'd never wear it but it was never something I thought I needed to do everyday or something that I was actively interested in. I was a special-occassion girl with those things which I could say made it more meaningful to me and a pleasant change of pace for people who knew me.
But now i'm 28 years old, and only earlier this year have I begun to see parts of me that I feel needs that regular attention now where I didn't before. Lately, when I wake up and look at the bathroom mirror in the morning, I see fine wrinkles showing up on my forehead from the stress. I see my eyes looking pretty tired from my desk job and the schoolwork I do everyday. My nose feels unbearably oily in the morning and my teeth don't look as white as they could be.
When I'm in the shower, I'm noticing more than ever how dry my skin feels coming out of the shower (even after I use lotion). TikToks of recommended products for "vagacials" keep showing up and now I'm finding myself attempting to do more self-care for "down below". Facebook stories of other women I know having fun with hairstyles or hair colors I never would've touched before but I feel like the odd, plain one.
Its weird to say it but I think I've ridden the "natural beauty" train as far as I could go. And its depressing. I never cared about these sorts of things before and here I am wishing I had - because maybe I wouldn't look this crummy at 28. And did I mention that I'm getting married in 5 months?













