fanon *chefs kiss*

So many women have internalized the idea that being difficult makes people think less of them, when in my experience the opposite is almost always true. Every single time I have spoken up, voiced what I actually need and refused to shrink the moment in order to be more comfortable for everyone else in the room, I have been approached afterward by people who wanted to know me better. There is no reward waiting for you on the other side of making yourself smaller. People do not love you more for taking up less space, they simply get used to you taking up less space and adjust their expectations accordingly. Every time I have been exactly as audacious as the moment required, it has opened doors rather than closed them and I have made real connections directly because of it rather than in spite of it.

No exaggeration but theeeee most critical lesson I learned in my 20s was letting go when it was time. It’s so cliche but it’s so true. I used to hold on so venomously to people, put on a tap dance for their approval, force relationships to last past their expiration date, carry the heavy lifting for reaching out because I didn’t want to feel “passive.” But when someone doesn’t want your effort it’s not about passivity. It’s literally about self respect, not wasting your time, and gravitating only to people who have your best interest in mind and celebrate you. I’ve met so many older people who don’t know how to let go and it truly scares me that this could easily be me. It’s better to develop this skill early than it is to spend an entire lifetime begging for love and belonging.

“Lol” hasn’t meant “laughing out loud” in like 15 years… it’s just a word now and more importantly it’s the perfect way to end a sentence lol

hot take possibly? but i actually think it’s okay for things to be marketed for adults. it’s literally okay if things aren’t suitable for children. i feel like we are losing the plot

Correct. Furthermore: children bending or breaking the rules to get a peek at something that's not intended for them is a part of growing up.

THIS IS SO COOL

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

Best brain hack is taking “this too shall pass” and applying it in the micro. The panic you feel from an argument with a friend, wanting to get on your phone when you should be studying, the absolute obsession with someone you’re crushing on, pain from rejection, utter hopelessness at a situation that is not entirely hopeless. Heavy on situations that induce panic and incentivize you to act out of turn, maybe to send a text you shouldn’t be sending or to blow up at someone or whatever it is. The antidote to knee jerk reactions is literally just “this too shall pass” and allowing yourself to feel the physical manifestation of your extreme emotion. Literally just ride it out. Even for things that can’t immediately be resolved, it makes such a big difference and prevents you from reacting in ways that you would undoubtedly regret down the line.

i really thought the point of "being lgbt+ doesn't absolve you of racism as a white person" was that white people arent absolved of racism by being marginalized but it really seems like people think other marginalizations make it okay. no being disabled doesn't do it. no being poor doesnt do it. we need to fight against racism actively no matter what.

they call me the information withholder for reasons i won't get into