Let's Try This

Hoooo, in between vacation (can’t complain), working late, improv practice, dog and cat sitting, and being up and around at all hours, I feel like I’ve hit ffwd on my life in a lot of ways. I’ve looked back on my life and have literally wondered where the last 7 years went. And I’ve gotten myself into a bit of a rut where I wonder what’s next. So, I’ve kicked the planning side of myself into overdrive.

Here’s my thing: 3 goals, 3 months; daily diary entries about how I’m going to achieve my goals (which are SMART); weekly retrospectives on Saturdays to take note of how I can course-correct, and then checking in monthly to see my progress.

Do you guys have favorite organizational and goal-setting tricks and tips? How do you make your dreams reality? Here goes nothing! Wish me luck?  xx,

Did y’all see that Beyonce and Jay-Z dropped a new album...TOGETHER? Of COURSE you did--they’re the Carters, duhh!! I don’t have Tidal anymore, so I haven’t listened to the whole album, but I have given their singles a listen. They’re cool, but I’m more a music video fiend, and the one for Apeshit did NOT disappoint.

Here’s an incredible breakdown behind Apeshit and how it might have tie-ins to a Senegalese Bonnie and Clyde-esque movie, Touki Bouki (link).  Give it a read and let us know what you think!  xx, 

**Hi all, i wrote this for an assignment so i thought i’d share it with you!** 

We all work hard and we need all need a little escape. One of the most popular vacation destinations in the US is Walt Disney World. I mean, who doesn't want to take a respite from life and be a princess for a while. But all those adventures at WDW can get pricey, especially when traveling with a large party. But the good news is that the Disney magic continues outside of the parks to all corners of the "world."  Here are a few budget friendly options for adventures at WDW that don't even require park admission.

Resort Monorail Hopping

Via Flickr: CL Photographs

Great Views, Shopping, & Dining

Along the shores of the Seven Seas Lagoon stand three of WDW's themed resorts that tie into the lands at the Magic Kingdom Park. Board WDW's futuristic transportation, the Resort Monorail from the metropolitan city feel of Disney's Contemporary Resort to the tiki vibes at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort where you can check out the quirky hidden gem bar, Trader Sam's. Then board the monorail to be transported to the Victorian charm of Disney's Grand Floridian Resort & Spa.  

Hot Tip: The beaches at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort are a popular place to watch the night fireworks from the Magic Kingdom Park. 

Running, Walking, and Biking Trails  

Via Flickr: CL Photographs

Exercise & Great Views  

The increasing popularity of runDisney has made WDW a popular destination for exercise enthusiasts. You can experience Disney's tribute to  African culture with a short jog around Disney's Animal Kingdom Resort Area. Or my personal favorite the longer loop around Crescent Lake by the EPCOT Resort Area Hotels where you get a great view of Disney's BoardWalk Inn from across the water.

Hot Tip: Get up early and take a jog around Crescent Lake and then stop for a muffin at the BoardWalk Bakery because life is all about balance. 

Disney Springs

Via Flickr: Aaron Hawkins

Shopping, Dining, Music, & Walking Destination

Disney Springs is a budget friendly but magical destination of high end boutiques, dining adventures, and a festival-like atmosphere. If you're looking for a romantic night out try sushi for two at Morimoto Asia . If you're looking for family-friendly fun stop by The Lego Store. Or if you're really looking for a budget-friendly night, you can walk around and experience the entertainment, atmosphere and take a boat ride for free! Disney Springs is the ultimate budget friendly but still magical WDW destination.

Hot Tip: Request upstairs seating at Morimoto Asia for an even more romantic atmosphere.

My husband and I are watching Garden State. 

I didn’t remember much about the plot at all but I remember all the songs. 

My husband says he played them for his everyone audition for his high school pops concert. (He plays guitar, i know he’s adorbz.) 

But wow. this is making me feel old. Even just the pace of this movie seems dated. I always think of it as like the mark of new indie movies. Of these anti-rom com rom coms--which are some of my favorite movies. 

But now it feels dated. Or more, it feels like the mark of a time. Like a cardboard cut out of my past. 

Like those weird cardboard cut outs they used to have in Blockbuster. 

Blockbuster. Another mark of time. 

My husband just saw my gif, and he laughed at me. 

So I guess it’s getting the point across. 

Here are some other things that make me feel old: 

- Listening to FM Radio 

- Sitting in my childhood couch and remembering staying home from high school pretending to be sick to work on my writing. 

- Watching Harry Potter 5. -- 5 is a weird one for a while I hated it now it’s one of my favorites. But mostly because I feel like I look to the order and DA as the youth rising up and taking over and oh god i feel old. 

here’s lookin at you, 

Em 

Hiya!  I was away on vacation all last week, so unfortunately I didn’t get to post, but a whole lot happened, inspo-wise. First of all, the beach is a huge inspiration, since there’s so much happening at any given moment--but there’s a profound blankness, too.

The biggest, for me, was the release of Maggie Rogers’ new music video for “Fallingwater.”  Emma Portner, dance wunderkind, helped her choreograph this gorgeous video, which finds Maggie in a LOVELY ochre (linen?) pantsuit dancing her fucking heart out in the middle of the desert.  You thought that song was enough to rip your heart out? Wait til you see the video.

The reason this video means so much to me is kind of mysterious, even to myself, but I think it just has to do with how present Maggie seems in every performance she gives: You can tell she puts her whole self into every movement and every note, like the creative expression she probably spent months working on was a fresh improvisation from the deepest parts of herself. She speaks without words, and that’s dope as hell!

As a person who spends a whole lotta time in my head, it’s refreshing and inspiring to see someone who’s put so much trust in her body and her talents to let that creative energy take her new places. Have you seen the music video? What do you think? Can’t wait for her new album!  xx,

Welp. I totally didn’t write last week. It was a holiday. And I just... 

Anyway, I’m getting back on track. 

I got a new laptop this week. So I’m super excited about that and I’m using it every moment of the day. 

I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed by the possibilities of life lately. And I think I need to get back to basics. Check in with myself and see what I am feeling and hopefully that will guide me to my next step. 

I found this fun article online about questions to connect. You could totally do it with your sig other, or family, or work peoples or whoever. I’m going to share my answers with you. I’ll pick my faves. 

1. What do you miss about being a kid?

I was a very confident kid. I felt like I really had a purpose. I wanted to be in theater and no one could stop me. People made fun of me, boys broke up with me, I didn’t get parts, but none of that stopped me. I had such courage and drive and was unfazed by the set backs. I need a little more of that in my life right now. 

2.What’s your favorite family tradition?

This is a toughie bc my family has a lot of weird/fun traditions. But I think my favorite is probably currently Sunday night dinner. I feel like I really took this for granted when I was a kid. But now that I’m older and living back at home, I really love Sunday night dinner. Everybody helps and then we catch up and usually my mom and dad tell us stories about the family or we all share funny youtube videos and it’s just a great moment of stopping and catching up. We end up at the dinner table for hours after dinner drinking coffee and laughing. 

3. What’s your favorite quote?

“And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” 

-The Great Gatsby 

 that’s all for tonight friends. 

till next time, 

Em 

Ugh. 

It’s just one of THOSE days... 

But instead of boring you with my story of my stupid day. I will tell you a few things that i’ve been seeking joy in lately. 

Long walks with my husband after dinner. 

After dinner I guilt my husband into going for a walk with me. We’re currently living with my parents, which isn’t as hard as it sounds. But it is nice to have a few minutes to get our blood pumping and have some time to connect together. 

Driving

One of the things I was most worried about when moving to Pittsburgh was driving again. But honestly, I like it. I don't like traffic. But it’s better than being on a gross train car. And I have a cup holder! 

Watching TV at night

I’ve been bugging my husband for yearrrrs about putting a tv in our room. And he’s had many reasons why not. And he’s probably right, because I’m totally losing sleep watching tv at night. But it makes me happy so like who cares! 

Lately I’ve been binging the goofy show LA to Vegas, which i just heard was cancelled from FOX. Why you gotta be so rude FOX? 

(omg they don’t even have a gif of it here, but please do yourself a favor and watch it on the HULU.) 

Anyways, 

today was a bummer but these things are good. hope you are also good. 

xoxox

Hiiiii!

Last week was a bit of a wild card because I was getting ready to run the BK Half over the weekend, so I was getting up at 5 am every day and, well, the Tumblr fell off my radar. So sorry for that.

But I ran a half-marathon on Saturday! In wild weather! And I finished it! 

I felt really proud of myself for doing that.

And that feeling of pride carried me through the realization: I’m want to run this same race next year, and I want to run it faster than I did this year.

Is this what HEALTHY GOAL-SETTING FEELS LIKE?!?

(For the record, I looked up “goals” in the GIF menu and all that I found were soccer-related or just way too sexy so...pass.)

Anyway, goals! 

Something else to be proud of: I feel like I’m entering back into a mindset where I can be proud of my effort instead of measuring my lapses (and then judging them). That feels G R E A T! 

So much of my 20′s were spent obsessing over why I wasn’t perfect--so much so that it held me back from even trying to do the thing I wanted to do in the first place.

Read that again, fellow perfectionists: I was so worried that something wouldn’t go perfectly that I would avoid doing the thing I wanted to do in the first place. I just couldn’t handle the disappointment and self-rejection.

And believe me, I recognized the impulses and tried to help myself: I’ve read all of Brene Brown’s books. I’ve got an entire collection of well-worn self-help books on my Kindle. And I’ve even underlined them and tried to process them. But there was one layer of understanding, where I understood what I should do, and another, where I more effortlessly just did the thing. 

I don’t want to jinx myself, but I think I’m less judgemental and more tender with myself these days. And I’m happy about that. 

I don’t want to assume that this new mindset of mine will be static--I imagine I’ll slip up again and feel perfectionistic (after all, so much of my drive comes from me pushing myself hard because I think I can take it). But giving myself the love that I had been withholding feels really nice.  

I don’t feel cheesy or ashamed for admitting that I’m grateful to recognize that the effort I put in, even if not perfect, was worthwhile. I’m not bragging by saying that I’m satisfied with my mindset and achievements (at least, I hope I’m not? Tell me if I am! I need to learn.)

Am I rambling now? Woof, maybe.

All of that brings me to this: I’ve been reading a lot about screenwriting. I’ve been trying to approach it with a beginner’s mind.

And guess what? I love it! 

And I feel very inspired.

Here are the books/resources I’ve read/consumed so far:

Screenwriting for Neurotics: A Beginner's Guide to Writing a Feature-Length Screenplay from Start to Finish

20 Inspiring Writing Podcasts to Subscribe to Right Now

Save the Cat! Podcast

Always looking for more, so if you have any--send them my way!  With that, I have to say: let this week’s inspo be YOURSELF (if you feel ready for that). But I promise you, you deserve itttttttt, bb!

My mom and I went to an estate sale yesterday. 

At first it seemed like a super cool opportunity to find an amazing first edition of an obscure novel or a cool piece of furniture. But slowly I realized it’s just a very strange and kind of sad experience.

Walking around the house and seeing all the stuff was cool at first. Like whoa, I know this stuff is from the 80s but like... could it ever have been in style? Or like hey, these are some shitty vhs’--does anyone actually buy vhs’? Will someone buy my vhs’?

But then I started thinking... wow, this lady had a lot of glasses. And I heard the daughter say... “Yes, we entertained a lot in this house.” And then I got to thinking. After we’re gone... is our stuff all we have to be remembered by? And you don’t get to explain yourself! 

Like what would people say about me... 

“Why does she have three copies of The Crucible by Arthur Miller? Was she secretly a witch? Or was she afraid to give away copies as if it was giving away knowledge?” 

TBH--at least one of them I borrowed from an ex and now it’s awkward and he didn’t even like Arthur Miller that much. 

“What was her obsession with snow globes?” 

I like like 3 of my snow globes but people saw them and then bought them for me like crazy and i feel bad getting rid of them, so i have like 50 snow globes...especially at christmastime. 

“It’s like she never wore heels, but she constantly bought them.” 

I mean, I think everyone understands this one. 

Not to be all Tom Sawyer... but I wish I’d have time to explain myself... but I guess who cares when you’re gone. And who cares now? We are who we are and who cares what weirdos creeping through your house think. 

So to leave you on that morbid note... 

My Monday inspo is all about Brooklyn 99, the little show that could. Not picked up for its sixth season on FOX, fans on Twitter were LIVID. So NBC picked it up the next day. B99 is a show that was always suggested to me, but which I never watched, since I am a bit of a rebel without a cause. ANYWAY, I started watching it this past week b/c of the hubbub, and FOLKS, it. is. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD. 

So here’s a gif journey for y’all. Enjoy:

Hey all! 

While trying to think of what to write about tonight I was googling some blog prompts. 

And this was in one of them... 

50. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?

and first of all... I feel very seen. 

But honestly, I feel like this resonated with me a lot so I guess it’s the one I should write about. 

I want to run my own theater company. 

I’ve been saying this for years. I love writing and performing. But I feel like I really want to run things. I want to give myself opportunities and give opportunities to others as well. I complain about the lack of diversity so I want to get in there and create it. And create it and have it be good, so that it continues. I want to make musicals that people want to come and see and don’t roll their eyes at. And I want to make dramas that aren’t dripping with patronizing rhetoric. 

I want this so much, it’s one of the reasons we moved to Pittsburgh. There is a great theatrical community here and not as expensive as NYC so I could focus more of my time on my art and creating this future. 

So why haven't I done it yet? 

Once again-- How dare you? 

But you’re right. 

I mean there’s a few reasons. 

Money

Money-- who’s got it? And who wants to give it to me to do this? If you got it... HMU. 

Time. 

We’ve only been here for about six months and it feels like we started all over again. So we’re working like crazy to make ends meet right now. So yes, this comes back to money. 

Connections. 

Once again we just started out here and we don’t know that many people and who is going to go see the shows of someone you don't know. How will we make a profit off of that. No, we need to make connections first. 

But honestly there is one thing holding me back. 

Fear

When you’re a kid and you have big ideas about your future. Everything seems achievable. But here I am approaching thirty--it’s time to put these plans into effect and I’m stalling. I’m straight up stalling. I could find the money and the time. I know I could-- I’m a resourceful gal who works best under pressure. But I’m scared. I’m scared of failing because as I get older the failures hurt harder. They affect my husband now too. So here I am sitting here wondering what to write about when I should be planning for my future. I see you--very suggestive blog post-- and as my GMA would have said “ Sounds like you have a guilty conscience.” 

So there. I told you. And now I guess I’ll go do some work on that. 

HOW DARE YOU? 

But like you’re totally right. 

begrudgingly going to chase my dreams... 

Hi!

So sorry I’ve been mia— Lauren’s been picking up the slack. And it was her birthday this week!!

Happy birthday Lauren!

I had an awesome weekend with my nephews and niece and completely lost track of everything.

Now onto the topic of the day...

MURDER

What is it about our culture that makes us so obsessed with it?

These serial tv shows like Law and Order, CSI, Criminal Minds, NCIS—they crack me up. We are learning about the human condition based on these relationships that develop out of a new inconsequential person being killed each week! Why could that be? Is it that we need to go to such extremes to understand what’s precious in life?

Remember when Serial dropped, then The Jinx, and true crime blew up? What is our fascination with true crime? Is it a need to know what happened to protect ourselves? Or is it just a hunger for the truth. Also if you love true crime. You should try the podcast, My Favorite Murder.

I don’t know why we’re obsessed with murder? Why we need to know Whodunnit. Im obsessed too. Currently watching a B rated Agatha Christie movie— bc why not?

This post has more questions than answers, but— I need to know.

Why you love murder so much?

Lmk.

But I’ll be checking my DMs for arsenic.

Em

Something I’ve really been thinking hard about this week is attention.

After all, what we pay attention to is what makes up our lives.

^^^ Thanks, AdamJK!

I could go on a rambling exposition of how I got here, but that would all serve to underline this point: Attention isn’t my forte these days. I’m finding distraction everywhere I go.

It’s getting so bad that today, I even interrupted my own work just to check social media, even though I know no one had contacted me. Read that sentence again and tell me I don’t have room for improvement.

The biggest thing, for me, is that feeling of disappointment and sudden boredom when I have stopped a flow just to check Instagram again, just to see that nothing new has happened.

So, I could deal with a detox.

And I think meditation could help me get there.

I consider myself a fairly disciplined person, all things considered: I run most mornings and I leave work every day between 6:15-6:30 because I get all of my work done in time. 

But focus is lacking. So, what’s your favorite meditation app, or if you don’t use an app, how do you meditate?

I’ve used headspace in the past and kind of liked it. (Mostly, I’ve just fallen alseep, but that’s steady breathing, so...)

What are your tips? I’m ready for them.

Doin Monday Inspo on Wednesday because I turned 30 on Tuesday, and as a result, was very hungover on Monday after a party on Sunday (days! what do they even mean?!)

^^^ woof.

So my Monday inspo...

U thought I was done with Janelle?

uhhh...guess again, since the Met Gala happened and she LITERALLY WENT AS AN EARLY CHRISTIAN ICON

yessssss (since she’s an icon herself, you see)

She relies on a thing that she calls her “soul clock,” which is the most freeing concept of creative development that I think I’ve ever heard. 

What is it? 

To me, it’s the recognition that creative ventures happen on the time that’s entirely subjective: it’s reliant on your own ability to create, as well as your community’s ability to support you and develop your ideas. And that’s dope as hell. 

It means that even after 30, I’ve only just begun.

Chew on that!

xx

I know I’m getting older because I’m about to say this: I wish I had a more stable early morning routine.

Half Marathon training means that on most weekdays, I get up at 6:30/7 and force myself to run for an hour before I come home, shower, and head to work exactly at 9:13. On days like today, Friday, I don’t have anything going on...but I guess I COULD. One of my biggest bugbears is never finding time to write, but mornings could be that time. Me suggesting all this is big news since I like the feeling of being awake before everyone else but I’m a night owl, naturally. Sitting here with a cup of coffee and writing IS pretty peaceful--do you have any early morning routines to share?

xx

Lauren