#helloletstrythis

My mom and I went to an estate sale yesterday. 

At first it seemed like a super cool opportunity to find an amazing first edition of an obscure novel or a cool piece of furniture. But slowly I realized it’s just a very strange and kind of sad experience.

Walking around the house and seeing all the stuff was cool at first. Like whoa, I know this stuff is from the 80s but like... could it ever have been in style? Or like hey, these are some shitty vhs’--does anyone actually buy vhs’? Will someone buy my vhs’?

But then I started thinking... wow, this lady had a lot of glasses. And I heard the daughter say... “Yes, we entertained a lot in this house.” And then I got to thinking. After we’re gone... is our stuff all we have to be remembered by? And you don’t get to explain yourself! 

Like what would people say about me... 

“Why does she have three copies of The Crucible by Arthur Miller? Was she secretly a witch? Or was she afraid to give away copies as if it was giving away knowledge?” 

TBH--at least one of them I borrowed from an ex and now it’s awkward and he didn’t even like Arthur Miller that much. 

“What was her obsession with snow globes?” 

I like like 3 of my snow globes but people saw them and then bought them for me like crazy and i feel bad getting rid of them, so i have like 50 snow globes...especially at christmastime. 

“It’s like she never wore heels, but she constantly bought them.” 

I mean, I think everyone understands this one. 

Not to be all Tom Sawyer... but I wish I’d have time to explain myself... but I guess who cares when you’re gone. And who cares now? We are who we are and who cares what weirdos creeping through your house think. 

So to leave you on that morbid note... 

Today’s Tuesday Thought is about Westworld. 

NO SPOILERS THOUGH, just like about the general feelings of Westworld. But also--watch season 1 before you read this. JUST IN CASE. 

I’ll wait. 

We watched the season 1 finale yesterday before starting season 2. I’m really glad we did because not only did I forget somethings about the first season. But also, I was watching it so much for the plot. 

But this time I watched it I noticed how innately feminine these plots are. 

Maeve’s story is all about finding her daughter. Her daughter that they tell her isn’t real--isn’t hers. But she knows something deep inside her. That they have a connection. There’s nothing more feminine than that. 

And the plot point about people realizing they have a choice. And that they’re not just an object to be used by other people who think they’re superior. I thin that’s a very feminine concept too. To come to the understanding that you are not just here to serve others. But that you have your own narrative. 

I love these ideas. I love that women are not just being featured in shows. And not just in the male gaze. 

Just a fun thought for Tuesday. 

NOW GO GET CAUGHT UP!

**Hi all, i wrote this for an assignment so i thought i’d share it with you!** 

We all work hard and we need all need a little escape. One of the most popular vacation destinations in the US is Walt Disney World. I mean, who doesn't want to take a respite from life and be a princess for a while. But all those adventures at WDW can get pricey, especially when traveling with a large party. But the good news is that the Disney magic continues outside of the parks to all corners of the "world."  Here are a few budget friendly options for adventures at WDW that don't even require park admission.

Resort Monorail Hopping

Via Flickr: CL Photographs

Great Views, Shopping, & Dining

Along the shores of the Seven Seas Lagoon stand three of WDW's themed resorts that tie into the lands at the Magic Kingdom Park. Board WDW's futuristic transportation, the Resort Monorail from the metropolitan city feel of Disney's Contemporary Resort to the tiki vibes at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort where you can check out the quirky hidden gem bar, Trader Sam's. Then board the monorail to be transported to the Victorian charm of Disney's Grand Floridian Resort & Spa.  

Hot Tip: The beaches at Disney's Polynesian Village Resort are a popular place to watch the night fireworks from the Magic Kingdom Park. 

Running, Walking, and Biking Trails  

Via Flickr: CL Photographs

Exercise & Great Views  

The increasing popularity of runDisney has made WDW a popular destination for exercise enthusiasts. You can experience Disney's tribute to  African culture with a short jog around Disney's Animal Kingdom Resort Area. Or my personal favorite the longer loop around Crescent Lake by the EPCOT Resort Area Hotels where you get a great view of Disney's BoardWalk Inn from across the water.

Hot Tip: Get up early and take a jog around Crescent Lake and then stop for a muffin at the BoardWalk Bakery because life is all about balance. 

Disney Springs

Via Flickr: Aaron Hawkins

Shopping, Dining, Music, & Walking Destination

Disney Springs is a budget friendly but magical destination of high end boutiques, dining adventures, and a festival-like atmosphere. If you're looking for a romantic night out try sushi for two at Morimoto Asia . If you're looking for family-friendly fun stop by The Lego Store. Or if you're really looking for a budget-friendly night, you can walk around and experience the entertainment, atmosphere and take a boat ride for free! Disney Springs is the ultimate budget friendly but still magical WDW destination.

Hot Tip: Request upstairs seating at Morimoto Asia for an even more romantic atmosphere.

My husband and I are watching Garden State. 

I didn’t remember much about the plot at all but I remember all the songs. 

My husband says he played them for his everyone audition for his high school pops concert. (He plays guitar, i know he’s adorbz.) 

But wow. this is making me feel old. Even just the pace of this movie seems dated. I always think of it as like the mark of new indie movies. Of these anti-rom com rom coms--which are some of my favorite movies. 

But now it feels dated. Or more, it feels like the mark of a time. Like a cardboard cut out of my past. 

Like those weird cardboard cut outs they used to have in Blockbuster. 

Blockbuster. Another mark of time. 

My husband just saw my gif, and he laughed at me. 

So I guess it’s getting the point across. 

Here are some other things that make me feel old: 

- Listening to FM Radio 

- Sitting in my childhood couch and remembering staying home from high school pretending to be sick to work on my writing. 

- Watching Harry Potter 5. -- 5 is a weird one for a while I hated it now it’s one of my favorites. But mostly because I feel like I look to the order and DA as the youth rising up and taking over and oh god i feel old. 

here’s lookin at you, 

Em 

Welp. I totally didn’t write last week. It was a holiday. And I just... 

Anyway, I’m getting back on track. 

I got a new laptop this week. So I’m super excited about that and I’m using it every moment of the day. 

I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed by the possibilities of life lately. And I think I need to get back to basics. Check in with myself and see what I am feeling and hopefully that will guide me to my next step. 

I found this fun article online about questions to connect. You could totally do it with your sig other, or family, or work peoples or whoever. I’m going to share my answers with you. I’ll pick my faves. 

1. What do you miss about being a kid?

I was a very confident kid. I felt like I really had a purpose. I wanted to be in theater and no one could stop me. People made fun of me, boys broke up with me, I didn’t get parts, but none of that stopped me. I had such courage and drive and was unfazed by the set backs. I need a little more of that in my life right now. 

2.What’s your favorite family tradition?

This is a toughie bc my family has a lot of weird/fun traditions. But I think my favorite is probably currently Sunday night dinner. I feel like I really took this for granted when I was a kid. But now that I’m older and living back at home, I really love Sunday night dinner. Everybody helps and then we catch up and usually my mom and dad tell us stories about the family or we all share funny youtube videos and it’s just a great moment of stopping and catching up. We end up at the dinner table for hours after dinner drinking coffee and laughing. 

3. What’s your favorite quote?

“And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” 

-The Great Gatsby 

 that’s all for tonight friends. 

till next time, 

Em 

Hey all! 

While trying to think of what to write about tonight I was googling some blog prompts. 

And this was in one of them... 

50. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it yet?

and first of all... I feel very seen. 

But honestly, I feel like this resonated with me a lot so I guess it’s the one I should write about. 

I want to run my own theater company. 

I’ve been saying this for years. I love writing and performing. But I feel like I really want to run things. I want to give myself opportunities and give opportunities to others as well. I complain about the lack of diversity so I want to get in there and create it. And create it and have it be good, so that it continues. I want to make musicals that people want to come and see and don’t roll their eyes at. And I want to make dramas that aren’t dripping with patronizing rhetoric. 

I want this so much, it’s one of the reasons we moved to Pittsburgh. There is a great theatrical community here and not as expensive as NYC so I could focus more of my time on my art and creating this future. 

So why haven't I done it yet? 

Once again-- How dare you? 

But you’re right. 

I mean there’s a few reasons. 

Money

Money-- who’s got it? And who wants to give it to me to do this? If you got it... HMU. 

Time. 

We’ve only been here for about six months and it feels like we started all over again. So we’re working like crazy to make ends meet right now. So yes, this comes back to money. 

Connections. 

Once again we just started out here and we don’t know that many people and who is going to go see the shows of someone you don't know. How will we make a profit off of that. No, we need to make connections first. 

But honestly there is one thing holding me back. 

Fear

When you’re a kid and you have big ideas about your future. Everything seems achievable. But here I am approaching thirty--it’s time to put these plans into effect and I’m stalling. I’m straight up stalling. I could find the money and the time. I know I could-- I’m a resourceful gal who works best under pressure. But I’m scared. I’m scared of failing because as I get older the failures hurt harder. They affect my husband now too. So here I am sitting here wondering what to write about when I should be planning for my future. I see you--very suggestive blog post-- and as my GMA would have said “ Sounds like you have a guilty conscience.” 

So there. I told you. And now I guess I’ll go do some work on that. 

HOW DARE YOU? 

But like you’re totally right. 

begrudgingly going to chase my dreams... 

a fun fact before I get to my Tuesday Thought: Tuesday nights are trash nights, and now I equate making sure I write my blog with making sure I take out the trash. Fun insights into my brain! 

Onto Tuesday Thoughts:

I was inspired by Lauren’s love for Dirty Computer (brb downloading to my phone) and wanted to share some love for lady musicians too. 

Set the mood with this chill beautiful song by Lana De Rey- Love

I’ve been doing research for a new play that I’m writing. I’m not exactly sure where the play is going right now--but I’m really enjoying this part of the research process because it’s all about listening to ladies making music. 

I started with girl bands. I’m listening to a lot of The Supremes and Destiny’s Child. The dynamics in girl bands are strong and powerful. 

I’m listening to some singer-songwriters from Joni Mitchell to Jewel.

 I’m listening to some pop singers like Madonna and Kesha. 

And first of all let me give all the ladies a round of applause. 

Life is hard out there for a lady musician. And I give all the girls a lot of credit for those fighting to share their voice in a man’s game. 

When I was younger and first getting into music, I actually remember talking to my bestie and telling her--I don’t really like listening to female voices. 

I think there’s a couple of reasons why I think I felt that way: 

1) Even more than loving music, I wanted to be accepted by a group of music lovers. I wanted to be known as a girl who knows about music. I wanted to be taken seriously. So I picked my favorite Beatles album, listened to a lot of Radio Head and Wilco and projected my confidence. Aside from the occasional nod to joni mitchell--you don’t get a lot of “music people”  (aka. mostly dudes) praising the female voice and I wanted desperately to fit in. 

2) I am a singer myself--not a great musician, but a good vocalist. If you don’t know the difference I would compare it to-- it’s like saying I’m not a great writer but i have great handwriting. But being a vocalist, and an insecure one, makes me competitive. Often listening to female vocalists I find myself judging them harshly, and trying to decide if I can sing better than they can. It’s your typical pitting woman against woman toxicity. Except instead of bodies--it’s your voice. 

I feel sad that I spent a lot of my young life feeling this way. But I blame the patriarchy. 

lol. 

I blame the patriarchy for a lot--so I guess I should take some responsibility too.

I wasn’t strong enough yet to see that the more we lift up each others’ voices the more room there is for all of us. I wasn’t strong enough to appreciate something I wasn’t great at yet. I wasn’t secure enough to see there’s room for all of us. 

But I’m getting better. 

Here are some lady singers/musicians that I’m getting really into these days. A lot of these musicians are telling some really innately female stories with their voices-- some it’s a strong confident female alto voice that doesn’t feel the need to compete with the belt your face off craze of the early aughts. Some are the lyrics of women and stories that are sharing our view of the world. 

Yay for femininity and yay for these ladies. 

YA WELCOME! 

The Shirelles- “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow” - I can’t get ENOUGH of this song. It’s like a perfectly written song perfect chord structure, perfect vocals front and back ground, and these lyrics that stab you in the heart. (Carole King wrote the song with her 1st husband BTW) 

Lake Street Dive- “ Good Kisser “ - perfect for when you’re feeling femininely self righteous  

 Margo Price - “Hands of Time” - basically a nicholas sparks novel in a song but with less cheese and more beautiful chords and it’s her life story-- she brave. 

Ella Fitzgerald- “Mack the Knife”- Ella has so many amazing songs, but in this particular version she forgets the words and it’s so endearing. It’s one of my favorite recordings ever.  The beauty of live art. 

Paramore - “Hard Times” - like a millennial had and 80s LSD trip and it’s mesmerizing 

Brandi Carlisle- “ The Joke” - I’ve been a Brandi fan for years now but her voice and her lyrics have matured into something so strong, I would trust her to speak for me anytime. 

Please send me yer lady heroes and I’ll plug them into my cranium too. 

Hopefully I’ll get around to actually writing the play-- but for now I’m loving this part. 

xoxoxo, 

This weekend my husband and I went on a road trip to Dayton OH. Why--one might ask.? To visit my husband’s alma mater, Wright State University, and congratulate one of his professors on retiring. 

I had kind of forgotten we were going on this trip. Work has been crazy, I'm trying to keep up on my writing, and life got away from me.  So it really snuck up on me. When we headed out yesterday I didn't know what to expect. 

I went to college in Boston. Right in the middle of Back Bay. No campus, no volleyball courts, no cafeteria, just 500 students and 10 practice rooms to go around. So going on to a regular college campus is always eye opening for me. 

“What would it have been like to hang out in the quad?”

 (Is that a thing? Or just a Hollywood thing?) 

These are the pressing questions in my head. 

And my husband’s school did not disappoint. It is a smaller school. But it still has volleyball courts and a student union. I am so fascinated by this world. It's almost like a utopian-like society. A bubble where creativity can bloom and you can run on the grass late at night. 

I wonder what might have been different for me if I was on a campus like this. Would it have been easier or harder to make friends? Would I have been just as eager to be on stage? Or would I have found refuge in philosophy discussions? 

Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my experience for the world. 

1) it made me who I am today-- and im great! 

2) I have a chip on my shoulder about a lot of things that happened in school-- but never about Boston. Being in Boston and exploring the city with my best friend was one of the best things about school. I wouldn't trade those memories for the world. 

But as I gear up to go back to school, I finds myself again choosing a city campus, and on top of that most of my classes are online. 

This collegiate world evades me once again. 

I've often wondered if I made the right decision about college at the age of eighteen. At the time I was so sure of what I wanted when so many of my friends were full of doubt. Now I wonder about the road less traveled. 

But at the end of the day, I think we are who we are, and each decision made in the moment brings us closer to the full human we are to become. 

I may never make it to the quad. 

And that's okay.