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"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

i'm sorry i didn't respond to your DM for 23 days. the number on the notification icon got really big and i began having irrational anxious thoughts such as "what if people are in there trying to contact me"

I’ve had tumblr for 4 years but some of you bitches have had it for a decade. It’s time to seek penance

wait I’m curious now . Reblog this with how long u’ve been on tumblr for. Dating back to ur oldest blog ever !!!

i hate that morrissey wrote i was looking for a job and then i found a job and heaven knows im miserable now. i hate that i have to give him that

you know you are really being very solipsistic and self-centred right now. the universe is vast and you are not the protgaonist of every story. have you considered that from some prespectives, the radiator is being handcuffed to you?

the FDA should bring back quualudes for a limited time offer like the mcrib

man if you're disabled you've GOT to find some way to make your fuckass body a source of pleasure whenever you can. jacking off. eating good food. wearing soft clothes. kissing an animal on the head. whatever you can do

You don’t have to think you’re hot but other people inevitably are going to so you at least need learn to accept that perception with grace instead of falling back on self deprecation every time someone is brave enough to call you cute

no literally when you can’t even blog about it

it's thousand yard stare summer