fourre-tout

Person: Did you see that?

Me: See what?

Person: That. It, him, whatever they're called

Me: (Sees a femme with masculine features)

Me: What about them

Person: Well what is that? He's dressed in women's clothes, so is he-it, they- What does that mean?

Me: I mean. If you're concerned about pronouns you can probably ask

Person: But do I call it a Mister or a miss?

Me: Well uh. That depends on what they tell you but "them" is usually safe.... but based on their makeup, hair, and heels I don't think they'd be mad if you assumed thry were a lady

Me: So like. I'd say she's probably just. Here for the event

Person: That's fine, I get that, I don't have a problem with trans people, I just don't get how you're supposed to know

Person: Like how do you know if someone is transsexual or just cross dressing?

Me: Uhhhhhhhh

Me: I mean

Me: I don't know. Any cross dressers. Who would be offended by being pronoun'd by their outfit. But like.

Me: I guess if you choose wrong. And they correct you. Then you just.... apologize and use what they tell you?

Me: .... Do you plan on talking to them?

Person: No

Me: Then why d. Why does it matter

Person: I'm just trying to understand

Me: And that's great! But like. You don't need to

Person: What

Me: You don't need to. Necessarily. Understand. You know?

Person: Huh

Me: They're here for the event. You don't have to interact with them. In two hours they'll go home and you'll never see them again

Person: I'm just confused

Me: You're allowed to be confused

Me: You can stay confused

I don't know how applied statistics works

Thats fine

I'm probably gonna die confused about that one

I don't need romance know the gender and physiology and medical history of a random stranger I'm never gonna talk to

Why do you need to know

Do you think they're gonna quiz you before they leave

There is some of the usual pearl-clutching about "dangers" and such, but I'm not sure they really believe that under all the nonsense they've internalised. The more I've talked to them about these things and seen them interact with people, it really does seem to be about anxiety and not embarrassing themselves. They were taught to put people into boxes, and interact with them based on that. And that works well for them in 95% of conversations, and you can see the code switching, especially in my mum, when she's talking to a man vs a woman. But if she doesn't know which code to use? Pure panic. I've seen her basically have a meltdown once we get home about whether she handled the interaction properly. Whether she slighted the other person by doing something wrong. Whether they're off muttering about how terrible she is for something she said.

A medieval Londoner could look at any stranger and tell if they were a servant or an apprentice or a storekeeper or an unmarried woman or a housewife (and how prosperous her husband was) or a lord or a nun or a priest or whatever; if two strangers came upon each other they knew at a glance who was to bow to whom (and life was a succession of giving and receiving small bows by way of passing acknowledgment) and whether they were of sufficiently compatable status to have a conversation or seek a friendship.

People's entire constructions of social interactions RAN on this shit for thousands of years. The intricacy and the importance of it has largely dropped, but when parents freaked out in the eighties over their son's long hair or housewives in the fifties refused to step out of doors without gloves, hat, and handbag, they were running on the social programs they grew up into and being protective of a type of status and respectability that had had real consequence in their lives.

And that consequence depended on the understanding that they didn't just have those things, they were those things. A lady was someone who had the personal skill and poise and attention to detail to pull off ladylike behavior (and the money to buy the necessary quality clothing and the leisure time to put herself together); faking it would have been no more expected than that an amateur would present herself as a prima ballerina by dancing across the stage; ladies, as well as other sorts of people, were self-proven by success.

A child who's grown to teenage years learning the concepts of freedom and truth and applying them to self-expression has largely inverted the order of operations their parents have used; instead of "I am a good, respectable high-status lady and therefore I wear the proper clothing and accessories with good grooming and good poise, and express my personal aesthetic preferences within that context" they get "I feel most myself and most comfortable with long hair and T-shirts and jewelry, this is WHO I AM, Dad, why are you persecuting me?" and the rigid standards that allowed Dad or Mom to access the securities of high social status according to the mores of their generation are subordinated or dismissed entirely, to the embarrassment and terror of their parents who viewed that respectability of dress and behavior as both security and privilege were aghast that their children would so willingly reject it, when it arguably was barely REAL to their children in the way it was to them, and functions more as prison than social status buff.

The idea of dressing purely for one's own aesthetic pleasure, let alone being a whole new gender, comes across as part neglect of a very important social function, and part pure dishonesty, to someone who depends on the structure granted by standards and assigned places in the standards. A paradigm shift in which rights replace responsibilities and in which gender is understood as a social construct rather than a force of nature, is not something they're well equipped to handle, and the translations and explanations have not been as useful as they could be.

Social mores and their use are a technology, in the widest sense of the word, and a lot of old people are in their "you met your fiance OVER THE INTERNET?!!! They could be anyone, you'll be murdered!" stage regarding the ability to choose to become something other than your family status and birth assigned you.

Source

Video of Tama

^Nitama majestic, and below with Yontama

Yontama.

The shrine of Tama Daimyōjin (Great gracious deity Tama), next to the Kishi station where she worked.

And they are announcing the winner of the “up and coming god” award, and of course, Yato thinks it’s him.

But no-

I HIT YOU LIKE BANG, a timebomb / jinx & ekko playlist

WE GOT HERE THE HARD WAY, a vi & jinx (arcane) playlist (happy birthday @kuchee, hope u like!!)

Old school reggaeton is my favorite and sure i’ll do it. However: imma define “old school reggaeton” as anything before 2010.  I know this isnt what most people would agree upon but …fuck it,  Most of what imma recommend is from the early 2000′s.  Not all were hits but if reggaeton was ur thing some of the more obscure ones will be familiar.  Also, reggaeton like most music genres can be  very problematic so i dont focus on the lyrics and more just to dance.    

Absolute  all time favorites: 

Guillaera- Ivy Queen (probably my fav song on this list)

en la cama- Nicky jam Ft. Daddy yankee 

Suelta- Don Omar 

tu pum pum- Johnny prez (the song in the video where i shake my ass) 

yo quiero bailar- Ivy Queen  

hay algo en ti- Zion Y Lennox 

Dale hasta bajo- Rakim y ken-y 

Suelta- Nicky Jam (this beat …. wow) 

la barria- Wisin y yandel  (the beattt ughh)

no queiro novio- ñejo ft tego 

te he querido te he llorado- Ivy Queen 

sabor a melao-  Daddy yankee ft. Andy montanez (best fusion of reggaeton and salsa on earth …ever stfu ur wrong if u disagree) 

no te olvidare- Cheka 

con rabia- Polaco 

Dale don dale- Don Omar 

manatica sexual- Lito y Polaco 

Rosando con mi piel- Lito y polaco ft. Nicky Jam 

Mi gatita y yo- Las Guabanas ft. Daddy Yankee 

Brinquen- Trebol Clan y Tego Calderon 

no le temas a el- Trebol clan ft. Hector y Tito 

Tra- Don Chezina 

Dime- Ivy Queen 

No te pienso mas (no que no)- Sir Speedy 

Nadie Sabe- Cheka 

Tuya soy- Ivy Queen 

Pobre diabla- Don Omar 

calor- Hector el Father 

pam pam - Wisin Y yandel 

Dale azota- Tony Toca ft Ivy Queen 

Babe remix- Ivy Queen ft. Gran Omar 

Doncella - zion y lennox 

Honorable mentions:

Down- Rakim y ken-y 

rakata- Wisin y yandel 

Gasolina- Daddy Yankee (only cus i played this shit out so much) 

Lo que paso paso- Daddy yankee    

tu quieres duro- Hector el father 

frikitona- Plan b 

mayor que yo-  literally like 7887788 artists 

Queiro saber- Ivy queen 

how i love being a woman! (a playlist for the gurlies and the gays) listen on spotify

1. secrets from a girl (who's seen it all) – lorde, 2. glad he's gone – tove lo, 3. ¡aquí yo mando! – kali uchis, 4. my hair – ariana grande, 5. hey ladies – destiny's child, 6. i can do it with a broken heart – taylor swift, 7. pose – rihanna, 8. ballad of a homeschooled girl – olivia rodrigo, 9. dancing queen – abba, 10. the sweet escape – gwen stefani, 11. nothing new – taylor swift feat. phoebe bridgers, 12. this is what makes us girls – lana del rey, 13. bizcochito – rosalía, 14. you're so vain – carly simon, 15. bitches these days – olivia o'brien. ++more

i couldn't find the owner of the art i'm using in this post. if you know who made it, please send me an ask with the link so i can credit them properly!