aww yeah baby!!!

that is why saying things like, "i know he's in there somewhere" about your autistic child is bad. a child hasn't been stolen from a parent by the autism monster, having autism IS what makes their kid who he is. you all seem to be able to grasp that much.

so when people say, "yes, well, a trait of autism is to say horrible things sometimes! it's just a part of our inability to understand social settings!", it's just ridiculous. yes, sure it does. and that's why you have to take responsibility for it. because "autism" is not seperate to you. your autism did not say a racist thing at the dinner table, YOU did. because you are autistic. denying this is directly reversing progress, the fight by all your autistic siblings-in-arms and those autistic people who came before you who have been fighting to be seen as who they are. the idea that autism is seperate to us is literally rhetoric people use to argue that we can be "cured".

is that like identity confusion or alteration or nah? 

the classic meaning of echolalia isn't repeating a word that sounds good, but is actually a conversational pattern where one person repeats the last thing that got said. for example, someone might say to me, "i'll bring you the rest of the articles tomorrow" and i'll reply back "articles tomorrow." it could also be just repeating yourself after you've finished talking, like i'll say a sentence, think i'm done, then catch myself repeating the last few words of the sentence.

i also do this in ASL, so it isn't just about the mouth-feel of the words. also the words don't necessarily have to be particularly pleasing or stand out in any way. when i do it, i'm not even really trying to communicate anything, it's just how i process language. that's different from vocal stimming, which is when a word is so pleasing to say that you say it over and over again.

neurotypical older sister having to parent her autistic-coded younger sister but she respects and validates her sister nonstop 

good representation of an autistic child even if unintentional [see autistic people expressing how similar they are to her here- 1, 2, 3]

no white ppl in brownface 

good music 

decent filmmaking 

autistic people who like it

aliens 

- Villain redemption

- A character coded to be lgbtq without being a stereotype

- a social worker who actually cares about the well-being of the child

- Found Family before it was cool

- A platonic love story which is rare for Disney where two misfits find solace in one another

Lilo is what happens when you support your autistic child. Stitch is what happens when you don’t. Notice how he calms the fuck down and becomes able to weigh actions and consequences once there’s someone in his corner? He stops trying to destroy everything and focuses his energies on protecting the people who are protecting him (and Lilo, not everyone is onboard with Stitch yet). Up to that point he struggles to connect, and so he lashes out, instead.

Specifically for when writing or typing isn’t an option.

Leigh (my partner) is entirely nonverbal right now and shaking in my arms. This happens sometimes, and I don’t mind. Naturally, it does make communication a little difficult, so I just thought I’d share some systems of communication that we use when they’re having extreme difficulty communicating:

#1- Hands

Best for yes or no questions or questions with two options

Leigh will stay seated and I’ll ask a yes or no question (or a question with two options). I’ll hold out my hands where they can see them and ask them to touch my right hand for yes (or one option), or my left hand for no (or the other option). If they don’t touch either by the time I count to fifteen out loud, that means maybe/kind of (or neither) and I need to ask a more specific question.

#2- Color

Good for asking about basic feelings

I have two set of index cards. The first set is made of one green, one yellow, and one red. I ask them how they feel about something, and they touch the color that best corresponds with how they feel about it. Green for they’re feeling pretty good about it, yellow for feeling iffy about it, and red for feeling bad about it.

The second set is composed of one green, one blue, one red, one orange, one grey, and one black. These are specifically for asking how they’re feeling emotionally. Green is happy or good, blue is sad, red is angry, orange is frustrated, grey is confused, and black is numb or empty.

-They also have the option of moving to express a feeling. For example, they frequently close their eyes and temporarily relax (as if sleeping) if they’re feeling tired.-

#3- Pictures

Good for figuring out needs or wants

I have some cards with pictures of everything they tend to want or need. If they want something, they can flip to the card that shows a picture of it. It also has the item written below it. I have both general ones like “food” but I also have more specified things, like a few of their favorite comfort foods if they want to be more specific. If they point to something general, I tend to ask yes or no questions to narrow it down.

Some General Pointers

Use simple, clear, concise language

Offer simple and clear options

Start general, and gradually get more specific

Be patient

If they start to lose focus, gently repeat the question

Try to make them physically comfortable

These are just some of the methods we use that I think could helpful to a lot of nonverbal people. Feel free to add on some of yours if you have any.

Alternative methods of doing these if they aren’t comfortable moving their hands at the moment below the cut:

me:

the first image is a tweet from The Don @.JackedYoTweets that says, "me too bitch you ain't special".

It’s the RDOS Aspie quiz! I heard it was a good resource for people looking more into seeing if they were on the autism spectrum

I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death

1. Ask Questions

This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand.  E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.

2. Listen

Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.

Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.

3. When they’re done, give it back to them

It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.

4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.

Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?”  Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”

Almost Every Neurotypical I’ve Ever Met: You have offended me. You fool, you monster, you horrid villain. You have woken on this day with the intent of annoying or hurting me and only me. I am so incredibly important that every action you take is meant to ruin my life specifically. How could you.

Sometimes, you really want to concentrate and get work done, but then...

If you're in a place, mentally or physically, where you only have the spoons to take care of yourself in one way, I HIGHLY recommend taking care of your teeth.

Acne goes away. You can always start working out later. Stink is easily fixed with a single shower. Hair can be brushed and cut.

Issues with teeth are expensive, painful, and overall suck. Your teeth health can have an impact on other things, too, like jaw issues.

If you go to the doctor for a physical illness you google it ahead of time. You walk into the doctor and say "I've been having chest pains, headaches, and a runny nose. I think I might have the flu." (Disclaimer, I do not know the symptoms of the flu off the top of my head. This is an example.) Now the doctor might look at you and these symptoms and say "You're right. I think you do have the flu." Or they might not think you have the flu and use the symptoms you gave them as well as their medical knowledge to give you a real diagnosis.

Think of all those times you stayed home from school because you were sick and you didn't go to the doctor. And so you have an excused absence note that says "Step Throat, Flu, Ear Infection, Pink Eye" for example. You probably did have those things because your parents did research on it before hand and went "Yep the kid has _____"

When people self diagnose they do a ton of research on their symptoms. They look at websites, the DSM, read other people's experiences. Sure not everybody does that but a lot of people do. They might not be able to afford a therapist but they can afford the internet. And all the research they do on it can help guide them. Just like the research people do to see if they have the flu.

Now when that person goes to the psychiatrist with all the information and says "Hey I experience impulsitivity, hyper fixations, lack of focus ect. I think I have ADHD." The psychiatrist can test them specifically for those things and in some cases can go straight to treating them. There's some cases where people do self dx wrong. But people do get it right too. And sure if they get it wrong the psychiatrist still knows what symptoms they're treating and can use it to guide them to a new diagnosis.